In couples counseling, alot of dysfunction comes from the same source. Do you know what that source is? Yes, you are correct- secrets, lies, and hidden agenda’s. Often times couples will fight about different topics but there are deeper issues at bay that never get discussed. The best thing that you can do for your relationship is get all of the secrets out of the way (This is often best done through therapy). Now, this is not an excuse for being disruptive or rude and their still needs to be discernment with what you share. But this does provide an opportunity to let your partner know what is really going on. Sometimes in couples counseling, the relationship needs to get worse before it gets better. Because in counseling, the truth is shown in the relationship for the very first time, this results in increased negative energy and pain. It is not that the relationship is clearly getting worse, it is just that the darkness is being shown in the relationship and it will take time to heal. If you feel a need to keep secrets in your relationship, ask yourself the question why? Let me know what your thoughts are.
If you are needing help getting the secrets out in a healthy way consider couples counseling, sometimes a 3rd party can make all the difference.
Kelly