Marriage Takes Hard Work

 Often times in couples counseling I tell the couples that marriage get worse before it gets better.  In the counseling office often times there is trust there and for the first time the couples feels comfortable to take their masks off.  When this happens, secrets come out and other hidden agendas come out that can be extremely hurtful.  Couples wear their masks and play the games so well that when they come into my office there are presenting as strangers.  When I address a hidden agenda or a secret I will hear from one partner, “well that is nothing, I just hid the fact that I went out with a couple of friends.”  What the lie is about is not the issue in this situation, the issue is that their is hiding there.  When we feel a need to hide from our partner we are not allowing ourselves to be fully known.  Just the notion that secrets are there sheds light on the hidden nature of the relationship and the need for authenticity.  Something to think about as you go through out your day.  If you are looking for aurora counseling services please feel free to peruse this site for more information.  We would love to serve you!     I look forward to your comments :)

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