Hey Ya’ll! I’m back 🙂 So I have taken about a week break from blogging and it is unbelievable to me how much writing helps my overall mood. I have much better days and I am in a waaaaaaaaay better mood when I write every day. I guess writing is my prozac, so, for my sake and my children’s sake, it’s probably best that I blog 3-4x week. So, what is the topic for tonight’s blog? Let’s talk about humility.
Can I make a confession to you?
I lie a lot.
and I don’t like it, every time I do it, I kinda cringe on the inside…
(and you do too probably.)
Every time someone asks me; how are you? And I respond with an auto-pilot “good”, I’m lying. Every time I people-please, I lie. Last weekend I was at the beach and a kid came up to me and asked me; Do you like kids? To which I responded; “certainly.” I was lying, it’s not that I flat out don’t like kids, I do like kids, but I also think that a high percentage of children in 1st world countries struggles with entitlement/spoiledness and so it’s fair to say that I kinda have a sour attitude towards a lot of kids.
My daughter is in the 4th grade at Black Forest Hills Elementary School and she has pretty much had the same group of friends since the 1st grade. There is one girl in particular out of this group that has always stood out to me as being genuine and kind. Every time I hear my daughter talk about this friend, I always blurt out, you should have a play date with her! I feel like our world is starving for people who are KIND. 🙂 I would love to go up to her parents and say; “You have done an amazing job as a parent, well done.” But, I’m sure if I did, she would most definitely think; “you don’t know me as a parent.” But the truth is, I do. When a child is kind, most often that is evidence of a really good Mom and/or Dad.
Anyways, side story. Back to the beach! So, this kid asked me; do you like kids? To which I lied and responded; “certainly”, then I thought about what I had said and realized, that was a lie, you like some kids and other kids drive you nuts! So, I preceded to say to him, “I like kids who are humble.” To which he said; helpful? and I said “no, humble” and he said, what’s that?
What is THAT?!
and I responded in my head; WHAT the HE double hockey sticks!? How can you not know what HUMBLE is?
When he said that, something dawned on me. I do like kids who are humble, but no
no kids even know what humble means today.
I wonder what would happen if we gave a two-question quiz to every graduating senior in high school with the questions;
What is Humility?
What does it mean to be humble?
I am really curious what these students would say.
Humility is the BEST Quality in the Whole World! (and it seems like
humble, at least I cant find anyone.)
True story, if I had a friend come up to me and say; honestly, I’m really bad at parenting, I’m just clueless, I love my kids, but I have no clue what I am doing? Would you help me? That person would probably be my new favorite person in the whole world. You see, humility is so attractive! I would looooooooooooooooooooooooove to be around them all the time. (take that with a grain a salt, maybe once a week.) I wish I had a parent in my own life who I trusted enough as a parent to be able to say that to and I would knowingly be able to get good advice from.
I would rather hang out with a parent like that any day vs. a parent that acts like they have all their shit together and their just good at hiding their shit, that’s all. Don’t be impressed by that, not even for a day, 99% of the time, it’s just a show and that “I’m the best mom show” that they put on, is their sin, not yours. You who are honest about how much your life is a train wreck has far less sin than the parent who is in denial about their life or how bad of a parent they are, even though everybody in their life and then some probably thinks they’re the best parent ever! These people feel a need to put on the “I’m the best mom show” to overcompensate for their failures, insecurities, and inadequacies.
Word to the wise, if this is you, give up the mom show, face your insecurities, face your inadequacies, and face your failures as a Mom. The best moms are the moms that say; I have failed a lot and I have no idea how to parent, will you help me?
The definition of a bad mom is the scenario up above. A good mom will admit her real failures readily, but A LOT of moms do “false vulnerability” very well. So, other parents think they’re really vulnerable, but they actually have NO CLUE
no clue what real vulnerability is. These moms do false vulnerability to win the favor of other people in their life, so people will like them because they think “they’re so vulnerable!!!” You see, ever since Brene Brown wrote her books, vulnerability is a new buzz word and if you use it a lot, it will win gain you some popularity points. Also, it’s important to know this about humility. We are NOT good at assessing for ourselves if we are humble or not, only other people in our life can tell us if we are humble.
As parents, we NEED to be role modeling REAL vulnerability and humility with our children in order for them to learn the value of these two things. When a Mom says she is failing, she is role modeling humility for her children. When a husband calls a counseling office and sets up a marriage therapy session, he is role modeling humility, when a husband says; I have no idea how to connect with you emotionally, I have no idea how to tell you that I am not attracted to you anymore? Can we get help to learn how to communicate with each other? He is role modeling humility and honesty and by doing these things He is leading his family well. (ying-yang)
One way to nurture humility is to be honest about your flaws and inadequacies. But I’ll get to that more in my next post because I am getting a little tired around here, so I best be getting into bed. 🙂 But of course, I can’t say good night until I leave you with another 5 ingredients or less gluten free recipe. From now on, I am only going to leave you with recipes that I have made from scratch, no more gimme’s. This recipe is for “cacho” and it consists of only 3 ingredients.
10 Tortilla Chips
10 Slices of Cucumber
Sprinkle mozzarella cheese on each chip (generously) and melt the chips in the microwave for 45 seconds. Take the cucumber slices and put them on top of the cheese after they come out of the microwave.
Refreshing, Delicious, and Ooooh so Cheesy 🙂
All for now,
Kelly Johnson, ma, lpc