Making Sense of Disobedience and Disrespect in Our Children

It is my belief that in first world countries we are raising children that are struggling a lot with being spoiled and entitled.   Furthermore, it is of my belief that over 75% of our children in first world countries struggle with narcissism, entitlement, and spoilededness, unlike most other children from 1st world countries.  Because of this belief, I have created the following; 12 Secrets for Saving our Children from being S-P-O-I-L-E-D.

It is also of my belief that we have created a culture where parents can not take parenting advice to save their life.    It is CRAZY MAKING TO ME, that we are diagnosing our children with all of these disorders such as attention deficit disorder, sensory processing disorder, oppositional defiant disorder, conduct disorder, anxiety, depression, etc.  BUT I DONT THINK THERE IS ONE DIAGNOSIS IN THE WHOLE DSM TO ADDRESS PARENTING PROBLEMS.  Frankly, I think 9 times out of 10, when a child is diagnosed with any of the above disorders, the root of the problem is found within ineffective parenting.  I think the # 1 trait in a good parent is HUMILITY.  I hope you enjoy this article and feel free to share it with friends and family. As always, all errors in this article are done on purpose to heal us from that stupid perfectionism stronghold.

12 Secrets for Saving Our Children from Being S-P-O-I-L-E-D.

 

  1. Disrespect first starts in the eyes with children and adults. If you have a hard time looking someone in the eyes it is because they have been hurtful to you and disrespectful.  For our children and teenagers, if they disrespect you as a parent, they will start to look away and will not look into your eyes when you are speaking to them.  However, before you insist that they look into your eyes when you are speaking to them, it’s important that you ask yourself the question; why are they having a hard time looking into my eyes?  Is it because of their disobedience and disrespect? Or, is it because of my temperament as a parent?  For example, many children are parented by a parent who can be emotionally or verbally abusive and if that is the case, then the kiddo will look away because he or she does NOT respect you as a parent because you are being emotionally abusive.   If this is the case, parenting coaching can help you to become healthier in your communications with your child.  Parents need to develop discernment in this way and look inward at their own behaviors just as much as their looking outward at their child’s behavior.

2. Children should never be born into wealth, this creates entitlement, selfishness, spoiledness, and narcissism. Wealth should only be accumulated from hard work.  Therefore, if you are wealthy, protect your children from thinking their wealthy.  It is imperative that we teach our children the value of frugality and enjoying the simple things in life.  How can we do this?  Try some of my suggestions.

3. Try just shopping at Thrift Stores or Walmart for a year. On birthdays, just buy one gift for your child under $30 or a couple smaller gifts.  On holidays, instead of buying gifts, maybe try doing charitable acts to bless others.   Also, each of our children have been given the GIFT OF LIFE.  Because of this gift, we should try to make birthday’s more balanced and less “about me.” by taking turns each year with celebrating birthday’s with creating a special memory or giving a gift and then the next year celebrate the birthday by helping your kiddo be a GIFT to someone else by participating in an act of service in the community.  e.g, visiting nursing homes, playing bingo with elderly, visiting people who are sick, etc. Hmm, this makes me realize that there are NOT ENOUGH PLACES WHERE KIDDOS/FAMILIES CAN VOLUNTEER AT.

 

4. Enjoy the FRUGAL THINGS in life; fishing, hiking, board games, tenting, dancing, boating, neighborhood parties, swimming, drawing, painting, music, free concerts, river-walking, camping, cooking at home, mini road trips, etc.

 

  1. Shy away from buying a lot of toys.   Most toys creates selfishness, don’t believe me, visit third world countries and compare the quality of character to kiddos in 3rd world countries vs. the quality of character with kids in 1st world countries.  The proof is in the pudding, facts don’t lie.

 

  1. Your children need to learn the art of entertaining themselves sometimes and not needing to be entertained all the time. Therefore, on non-school days consider having your children entertain themselves for 1 hour, no screens. Of course, you can play with them if you want, but let them lead the play. Frankly, I think screens have turned our children into the worst version of themselves.

 

  1. Give your child a task each day and expect them to clean up after themselves. (For children who are 5+) We have a real double standard in our culture regarding this, if children grow up on a farm and work 1 hour before school we would think nothing of this, but a parent who makes their 9 year old do a 15-30 minute chore each day we would think is waaay too much.  No wonder why all of our children are spoiled, but we’re all blinded to it because of our own Narcissism, so because of this, know one will see and recognise that their own children are spoiled.

 

  1. Stop telling your children their SO GOOD at everything/GREAT at everything. Say to your child, “Yeah, you may be lousy at basketball now, because you just started, but we all start out being LOUSY AT FIRST.”   LET YOU KIDS BE JUST OKAY, FINE, MAYBE LOUSY AT SOME THINGS.  WHEN WERE ALWAYS TELLING OUR KIDS HOW GREAT THEY ARE AT EVERYTHING, THIS CREATES NARCISSISM AND ENTITLMENT.

 

  1. As parents, sometimes we “love” our kids too much and we are kind of addicted to our kids. We need to detach ourselves from our children sometimes if we are going to be able to parent effectively and take our blinders off.  A lot of parents have huge blinders on about their own kids. HUGE.  See # 6.

 

  1. Stop buying toys for your kids, the outdoors are the best toy they can ever have! I’m preaching to the choir here, I need to get my own kids outside MORE 😊   Instead of buying toys, maybe go to the local dollar store once every few months and let your child pick out one item they can bring home.

 

  1. Do not tell your child; “don’t cry, I don’t want to see you cry”, “don’t be angry”, or “don’t be sad.” Our children need to feel comfortable to express all emotions to us including; sadness, anger, disappointment, insecurity, happiness, jealousy, hurt, excitement, belonging, love, entitlement, pain, joy.

 

  1. In terms of discipline, when a child is disrespectful or disobedient, have the child sit in the bathroom for the amount of time equaling his/her age. For example, if your child is 5 years old, then you would have your child sit in the bathroom for a 5-minute time out.  However, if your child comes out of the time out or starts yelling in the middle of the time out, then the time out would start over.   Time outs should really not start until the age of 5.   I think spankings/physical punishment typically are not effective, unless you can remain calm, explain effectively, and comfort afterwards.  However it takes a very special parent to be able to do this in the right way.

 

We’ll all for now, I am done writing for the evening, have a good night.  No more recipes, one recipe for the day is enough.   🙂

Warm Regards,

Kelly Johnson, MA, LPC

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The Power of Virginity to Restore the Man Into A Gentleman

DISCLAIMER :  All of my blogs for the last 6 months and all of my future blogs are going to  be written in rough draft form only to help save us all from that man made perfectionism thing.  🙂  (or just me!)

The Earth Shattering Startling Truth is that the Gentleman is on the brinks of extinction.

What did I just say?

The Earth Shattering Startling Truth is that the Gentleman is on the brinks of extinction.

one more time…..

The

Earth

Shattering

Startling

Truth

is

that

the

Gentleman

is

on

the

brinks

of

extinction.

For every 10 women of character and integrity that I can find, I can probably only find 2-3 men of character and integrity.  (Tinder doesn’t help this cause 😉 This may sound 100% jaded or biased, however it is not, sadly it is just the reality of  the world we live in today.  The reason why this is so is because of premature sexual intimacy  in relationships.  People think that if you are an advocate for abstinence until marriage that you are conservative or narrow minded and this belief could not be farther from the truth.   The truth of the matter is a WOMANS’ VIRGINITY IS THE MOST POWERFUL TOOL KNOWN TO MANKIND TO TRANSFORM AND EVOLVE THE MALE GENDER INTO BECOMING A GENTLEMAN.  If there is ONE THING  in all of the world and in all of human history that can turn a man into a gentleman, IT IS A WOMENS’ VIRGINITY.

Hear me loud and clear, I am not even an advocate of  professing that a couple must wait until they are married, frankly I think this belief causing many other problems, because this belief just creates PREMATURE ENGAGEMENTS AND MARRIAGES and  hence the divorce rates are just as HIGH in the church as they are outside of the church.  People should not be getting married simply because they want to have sex, this is horrible theology.  When we are preaching no sex before marriage we are simply setting people up for failure because people are not taking the necessary time to get to know each other, court each other, and build a healthy relationship before marriage, BECAUSE they are just getting married so they can do the deed.   Because of this, I think that marriage needs to be out of the discussion when we are talking about Chasity and Virginity, we need to be smarter than this.   We need to be teaching our young women and men the values of Chasity, Modesty, Virginity, and Masturbation as the four greatest tools known to mankind that if practiced can ensure that we will rescue the Gentleman from Extinction foremost and secondly we will be creating marriages and relationships that are 100X better, healthier, and simply more amazing.  What do I mean by this?

Men are driven by their sexual desires more than women, men are biologically speaking wired to lust after their women.  In order for all men to become gentleman we need to be teaching our young women and men (16+) the values of Chasity, Modesty, Virginity, and Masturbation.  I believe sexuality education needs to be a part of our school education.

(In regards to education, we can not assume that parents are teaching children anything.  You know what assuming does, it makes an ASS out of You and Me.  🙂   As educators we need to take education into our own hands and create an education where every child is able to be successful in life even if they had horrible parents that did not teach them one thing.)

Chasity- We teach our Young Men that they must wait 2 years of being in a relationship (FOR THE FIRST TIME) to make love to their woman.  We need to be teaching our men and women what it means to “fall in love.”  Love is not as mystified as we make it out to be, “falling in love” is a real thing and we need to be teaching our young women and men how to have discernment in this way.  This two year period is not about stupid rules, legalism, conservatisism, frankly I’m not a fan of any of those things.  This Rule would completely change the male gender for all human history and it would turn all men into a gentleman.

Modesty- We need to teach our women how to dress modestly, yet beautifully.  By doing this we are teaching our women how to show honor to men and not cause men to stumble in the physical area. If you want a man to get to know your brain, dress in a way where he will be more attracted to your brain at first.   There is a kindergarten teacher at my daughters school who embodies the definition of modesty and beauty, she always dresses in a way that is classy, yet chic and modest.

Masterbation- Masterbation I think was given to human beings as a gift to help men and women maintain their virginity and Chasity until the right time.  We should never be teaching that masturbation is wrong or sinful, this is SO FAR FROM THE TRUTH!  Women have so much shame around masturbation and it is very sad.  Masturbation is a God-given right and all men and woman can and need to learn how to masturbate.   If a women masturbates when she needs to, she will be much more likely to remain pure in her relationships and not give herself away sexually before her man has completed his gentleman training. The truth is Chasity and Abstinence creates character, the longer you wait, the more your man will grow in character.

I feel SO PASSIONATE ABOUT THIS, IF I HAD THE RESOURCES, I WOULD LOVE TO CREATE A WORLD WIDE MOVEMENT WHERE I CAN EMPOWER TEENAGERS TO MAKE A COMMITMENT TO MAINTAINING their Virginity for 2 years after they fall in love for the first time.   You see, if we as women can form a sisterhood with each other and if we as women can  make a commitment to each other to all value and make a commitment to maintain our virginity for 2 years after we fall in love, then we will be 100% turning the tides and saving our men from extinction by turning them into gentleman in the process.

But the truth of the matter is, the power of virginity will only work if we  form a sisterhood as women and all commit together to upholding it. If only one woman commits to virginity, the man will scoff and say, “we’ll I’ll just go on to the next.”  In our world today, the truth is that most women will have sex with a man after 4-6 dates.  However, if we created a movement where there was no break in the chain, where every women made a commitment to maintaining their virginity for 2 years from the time they fell in love, then our men would have to evolve and become men of integrity and character that have to learn how to woe, court, and date a woman.  (instead of just shrugging their shoulders and saying, “we’ll I’ll just get it from the next, there are plenty other fish in the sea who will sleep with me!”

The Power of Virginity and Chasity is designed primarily for young women and men from the ages of 16-25.  As an adult, relationships are different and if men and women did their Chasity training in their younger years, they would not need to follow those same rules in their older years.  Chasity and Saving your virginity are primarily tools given to teenagers and young women and men in their early to mid 20’s to help them evolve into Women and Men of Virtue, Character, and Integrity.

Anyways, I’m signing off here!

Have an “alright” night.  🙂

Kelly Johnson, MA, LPC

P.S-I think if we took the word “good” out of the dictionary.  It would actually mean that we would have to give more emotionally honest answers when someone says; how are you?  We could say; marginal, functioning, I’m alright, I’m decent, I’m miserable, I’m delighted, etc. what  A     B-R-E-A-T-H    O-F      F-R-E-S-H       A-I-R.

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Narcissism Part III

This is my last blog post in this three part Narcissism Series.  In closing out this series, I would like to leave you with a tool that will be helpful for you in understanding Narcissism in yourself and others.  There is probably no better way to explain Narcissism than to examine the Emotional Safety Spectrum. The Emotional Safety Spectrum is a worksheet that I have created to help people understand Emotional Safety and Narcissism.

Here is a little history about this worksheet that I created.  I received a document that looked similar to the Emotional Safety Spectrum from a friend of mine who is also in private practice, however the original document did not have any identifying information on it to who wrote it and there was no copyright date,  so I can not give credit to the person who wrote the original document. However, if someone lets me know where the original document came from, I will happily and promptly give that person the credit they deserve.  🙂  So, I took the original document and added some traits to it to create the Emotional Safety Spectrum Worksheet that I use with clients. 

One easy way to start healing your own Narcissism is to make a habit of NURTURING HUMILITY.  Humility in human beings is BEAUTIFUL and it is designed to be nurtured.  One way that you can nurture your humility is to print off this sheet and put it on your refrigerator.  Anytime that you see yourself exhibit one of the emotionally unsafe traits on the list, give yourself grace, acknowledge it with the person you hurt and by doing this you are making it right.  🙂

So, without further ado, here is the Emotional Safety Spectrum.  FYI, Any therapists, counselors, etc. are more than welcome to use this worksheet and change it up as you see fit to better help your respective patients and clients.

Emotional Safety Spectrum

Unhealthy Narcissism/Unsafe People:

Have it all together instead of admitting their weaknesses.

Defensive instead of open to feedback.

Self-righteous instead of humble.

Apologize instead of changing my behavior.

Avoid my problems instead of dealing with them, does not think that I sin.

Demand trust, instead of earning it.

Believe I am close to perfect instead of admitting faults.

Blame others instead of taking responsibility. (manipulation/guilt-tripping)

Lie instead of being honest.

Are stagnant instead of growing.

Avoid closeness instead of connecting.

Are only concerned about “I” instead of “we” (not relationship centered)

Resist freedom instead of encouraging it.

Condemn us instead of forgiving us.

Stay in parent/child roles  (Preaching vs. dialoging)

Are unstable over time instead of being consistent.

Are a negative influence on us, rather than a positive one.

Gossip instead of keeping our confidences.

Will not apologize, but will justify behavior.

Will talk too much and not ask questions(no empathy)

Verbal Abusive Patterns such as; discounting, demeaning, saying I’m crazy, I’m too sensitive, mean jokes, name-calling ,anger outbursts, )

Healthy Narcissism/Safe People:

Expresses vulnerability by admitting weaknesses

Takes Constructive feedback and freely talks about sins.

Humility with Self Confidence

Change Behavior and Apologize

Actively work on my problems

Earn trust, not demand it.

Humility and Vulnerability

Takes full responsibility for mistakes and unhealthy choices

Practices honesty (or if someone lies they would immediately admit it afterwards through nurturing humility.)

Constantly growing and learning

Encourages Closeness

Concerned about We and I.

Encourages freedom vs. Controlling

Forgives us vs. Condemns us.  (no holding grudges)

Relate as co-equals

Consistent

Positive influence on us over all

Keeping our confidences

Apologize freely and often when need to.

Will ask questions and show concern for other person.  (empathy)

Encourages, Uplifts, Speaks Truth, Holds us Accountable, and Believes in us.

 

Here is another Gluten Free Five Ingredient or Less Recipe, this recipe is for Cauliflower Fried Rice….  Hmm Hmm Good!

Warm Regards,

Kelly Johnson, MA, LPC

 

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Narcissism and Perfectionism Part II

Welcome Back!

Here is my Part II to understanding Narcissism.  The reason why I am breaking this up in three parts is because narcissism is the ONE THING THAT PROBABLY EVERY ONE HAS ON SOME LEVEL OR ANOTHER AND NO ONE GETS THERAPY FOR.  🙂  So, we need a lot of information on what Narcissism is and how we can heal ourselves from Narcissism.  Narcissism and Perfectionism are closely related, but are not the exact same thing, but for simplicity purposes, I am just going to use Narcissism in this blog, however if you struggle with perfectionism you may as well benefit from learning more about narcissism.

Narcissism is a wound and/or a trait and if we developed this trait in childhood it is because we either  received “too much praise and no accountability” in our childhood or  “not enough praise and too much criticism” in our childhood.  I am using the word “praise” in substitution for the word “love.”  Because too much praise is actually poison for our children, and it should never be disguised as love.

However, I would probably say that its fair to say that a lot of people did not pick up Narcissism in their childhood, but rather picked up Narcissism as an adult.  As an adult, if someone does not receive healthy love in their life for a long period of time, they will naturally become narcissistic.  Narcissism is mostly caused in adults because over 90% of adults live lives where there is little accountability, discipline, and correction in their life.  You see, we all need way more accountability in our life in order for us to remain healthy emotionally and mentally.  If someone lives their adult life unaccountable, they will naturally become narcissistic.

In our jobs, careers, churches, schools, government, etc, there needs to be way more accountability, correction, structure, and checks and balances.  All of this is lacking SO MUCH and because of this we are all narcissistic and feel defensive and upset when anyone calls us out and/or expects anything from us.  Truthfully, we all need to save ourselves from our own narcissism.

What is Narcissism?  Narcissism is complicated, I have came up with 7 forms of Narcissism, but there are probably many more as well.  Covert Narcissism, Spiritual/Religious Narcissism, Overt Narcissism, Perfectionism, Career Narcissism, Mental Health Clinicians’ Narcissism, and Parenting Narcissism.

Covert Narcissism is much harder to treat because no one else can see it, except the spouse of the covert narcissist.  Overt Narcissism needs no explanation and most narcissistic books are written about this type of narcissism.  Perfectionism is the belief that you need things to be perfect, which is just a different flavor of narcissism.  Career Narcissism is where someone can develop Narcissism because of their career, because they may be excellent at their particular job.

with career narcissism its really important to realize that while you may be excellent at your particular job, do not let this narcissism bleed over into other parts of your life.  In order to keep your career narcissism in check, you need to know how to yield and submit to other people in their positions of authority who are experts at their particular field.  Frankly, the word expert and specialist can also create more narcissism.  Now, let me talk about this last type of Narcissism, this is a phrase that I made up on my own and its called; “Mental Health Clinicians Narcissism”.  Anyone in the Mental Health field is especially prone to developing “Mental Health Clinicians Narcissism” because we think that we can solve everybody’s problems.  We are so proud of our degrees, trainings, specializations, awards, credentials, etc. and because we are so busy trying to build our repertoire of skills, we are failing to notice that WE ARE NOT PROVIDING EFFECTIVE THERAPY FOR OUR CLIENTS.  If we were providing effective therapy for our clients we would be seeing far less addictions, affairs, divorces, and suicides.

But the truth of the matter is, all of these are at an all time high in our world.  Something is not right.  If we are going to heal our “Mental Health Clinicians Narcissism” we will start asking more questions, soliciting real feedback, letting our clients talk about deep pain, hurt, rejection, jealousy, pain, insecurity, etc. without instilling a fear in our clients that if they talk about these things that we will be diagnosing them with a slue of disorders.   Truthfully, music is far better at doing therapy than most therapists are at doing therapy, because music does not diagnose people, music lets people talks about hurt, pain, insecurity, etc, without instilling a fear into people that talking about those such things will equal a diagnosis of a disorder.  This is what I would call “Mental Health System Abuse.”

 

The next type of Narcissism that I would like to touch on is Spiritual/Religious Narcissism.  If you struggle with spiritual narcissism, you may feel that you are “better off spiritually” because you go to church 7 days a week, but you fail to notice that your frequent church going just creates ugly self-righteousness and this “holier than though” syndrome.  However, there are also a handful of people that go to church every day and are the most humble people around.  If you struggle with spiritual narcissism you may also use spiritual language as a way to overcompensate for feelings of insecurity and inferiority.  You may talk a lot about God, faith, spirituality, or use the word “Lord this” and “Lord that” like you are talking about your best friend.  This type of language creates superiority where you feel like you are better than other people because you have a “closer relationship” with the Lord because you talk about god like he/she is your pet or sister.  People around you who do not talk about God in that manner are made to feel less then because they don’t talk about Yahweh in that manner.  If you do this, in reality, you are simply using spiritual language to foster your own sense of self and ego as an overcompensation for insecurity.

Evangelical Christians struggle with this sin a lot, way more than other denominations/religions in my opinion.  I went to an Evangelical Christian University in which I loooooved for many reasons and disliked for just as many other reasons. But there was a sense among the campus that the men who used the most “lords” in a sentence were the most spiritual ones, it was and is 100% non-sense.    Catholics typically have much more humility in this arena and protestants have a lot to learn from Catholics in this way.  But nuns and priests struggle with spiritual narcissism as well because they think they have a closer relationship with God because their a priest/nun.  Also, I think the wardrobes that priests and nuns wear probably also foster a little spiritual narcissism, etc.

The reality is, when most people are talking about God, they are talking about God to bolster their own ego.   Because of this reason, we can not judge somebody else’s faith by their words, only Yahweh knows someone’s heart.  When someone has a genuine faith, they talk very little about their faith, (unless their a rabbi or teacher of religion.) because their faith is simply lived by their life.  For this reason, I think many non-religious people and agnostics have a much more pure faith than the so called devouts do.

I think this is EXACTLY what Jesus meant when he said; “The first will be last, and the last will be first.” 

…..The people that think they know me, have NO CLUE WHO I AM, the people that don’t think they know me, they know me quite well, they just don’t know that they know me.”

Spiritual Narcissism is an entity all to itself and there has not been many books, research, etc, done on this area, up until recently.  Because I am a Therapist by trade and I love learning about all aspects of human  behavior and because narcissism is one of my most favorite topics to treat, I have developed a special liking for treating and understanding all forms of Narcissism, including Spiritual Narcissism. Additionally, because I went to an Evangelical Christian College, I saw spiritual Narcissism in its fullest colors, however I did not realize it was Spiritual Narcissism until 6 years after I graduated from there and I started studying Narcissism.

Parenting Narcissism is the last type of Narcissism that I would like to talk about.   Parenting Narcissism is a type of Narcissism where parents are narcissically blinded to their own childs’ faults and issues and because of this bias and blind spot  they can not parent effectively.  Parents that have Parenting Narcissism are typically parents who will be more apt to point out flaws in other parents and  talk negatively about other parents, but fail to see their own flaws.  Another trait of Parenting Narcissism is that these parents think their children are so much better off than they actually are.  Behind their parents back, the child may be manipulating, lying, cheating, bullying kids, and doing other activities such as these and the parents are blind to all or some of these activities going on

Well, this post is getting long enough so I am going to break this post up a bit.  In my next post I will be finishing up this Narcissism series with providing you with a worksheet that you can use as a tool to help you heal your own narcissism called the Emotional Safety Spectrum. 

Goodbye for now 🙂

Kelly Johnson, MA, LPC

 

 

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The Ying Yang Effect

I have created a new concept called the; “Ying Yang Effect” and everything in life I see through this Ying Yang Effect.  In terms of politics, religion, parenting styles, etc. I do not see it like the world sees is as two opposing sides with opposing views, rather I see it as each side represents an important part of the “Ying Yang Effect” and both parts of the Ying Yang effect create Balance.  Let me explain it to you;

Liberals Need Conservatives & Conservatives Need Liberals

Protestant’s Need Catholics & Catholics Need Protestants

Agnostics Need Believers and Believers Need Agnostics

Democrats Need Republicans & Republicans Need Democrats

Attachment Style Parenting Folks NEED to learn from Baby Wise Style Parenting folks & like wise Baby Wise Parenting folks NEED to learn from Attachment Style Parenting.

This analogy is true in SO MANY WAYS, here are just the first 5 that came to my head.  In my next blog, I will get back to talking about; “How to Heal from Narcissism and Perfectionism.”  🙂  Before I forget, here is a recipe for delicious 3 ingredient Popsicles!

Warm Regards,

Kelly Johnson, MA, LPC

 

 

 

 

 

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Making Sense of Perfectionism and Narcissism Part I

So, two blogs back I was talking about Narcissism and I said I would explain Narcissism in more depth in my next blog.  But then I forgot about that and ended up writing about faith in the following blog. 😊  So, I would like to go back to that topic and talk about Narcissism/Perfectionism for a little bit.

In our world, up until about 15 years ago, there was not a lot of accurate information available regarding understanding pathological Narcissism.

You see, Narcissistic Personality Disorder was created by Psychiatrists who have developed a system for diagnosing all of man-kind according to some 200+ or so disorders.  And it’s fair to say that Psychiatrists would not create a personality disorder that would fit them right into it, so inevitably I believe the definition that they came up with as to what Narcissistic Personality Disorder is, may be a little biased or impartial.  

However, please know I do NOT have biases towards all Psychiatrists in this way.  Some Psychiatrists are phenomenal and if you want to read a thought provoking book regarding this topic by a Psychiatrist whom I deeply respect and admire, please read the book titled; “Saving Normal.”  By Dr. Frances Allen. 

Anyways, Narcissism is the one thing that most of us probably have traits of, yet no one gets therapy for.  There are millions of people in this world who have been getting treatment for Depression, however the real issue is Narcissism, not Depression.  You see, when someone has a therapist that they meet with every single week for years and there able to 100% vent and process every feeling they had the previous week with that therapist, this can create pathological narcissism.  Case in point;

“I have one person every single week and I have a 100% one sided relationship with this person.  And week after week, month after month, year and year, I get to talk, vent, process feelings, and I feel no regard to ask them about their life.”

This is the 100% reality for MANY clients who are in therapy.   I think this traditional one sided relationship model of therapist and client actually can create more harm than it does good.

When I have a client who is very Narcissistic and does not know how to show interest in other people’s lives or ask people questions, I will help teach this client social skills by having them ask me standard questions, I will write down questions that they can ask me and then they will practice this social skill in session. We will do this by role playing that we are friends meeting for coffee. After this,  then I will give them a social challenge out of session as well, where they have to ask 2 people in their life 3 questions that they normally would not ask during the week such as; tell me about your work day?  What was good? What was hard?

If therapy is 100% one sided, I actually think this can (situation dependent of course) create increased levels of Narcissism on behalf of the client. In addition to not creating added Narcissism,  Healthy and discerning self disclosure at select times on behalf of the therapist allows the client to feel more comfortable because the relationship feels more natural and hence the client opens up more and shares more.  Let’s be honest, no one will open up with a therapist who is just talking therapeutic jargon, writing on their note pad, and saying; “how does that make you feel?” I think we would all agree we would rather watch paint dry than be in that type of therapy session.

Anyways, here is my “Top 13 List for Healing from Perfectionism/Narcissism.”

FYI, All spelling errors and grammatical errors are done on purpose to help us all heal from man-made perfectionism and narcissism. 

 

 13 Secrets for healing man-made Perfectionism and Narcissism

  1. When I hear someone say; “I struggle with perfectionism”, it registers in my head as; “I struggle with pretending that I’m a fish!”
  2. If you struggle with perfectionism, you probably also struggle with narcissism, read below to learn more about narcissism.😊
  3. Make more errors, spell a few words wrong on purpose in emails, letters, journals, make more mistakes, let go, breathe, look stupid, be silly, laugh at yourself more, be wrong, be lousy at something, be inaccurate, it’s okay. Learn to LOVE yourself for who YOU ARE.  If people are going to juddge you for a spelling error vs. the content of your character, you do NOT want to be their friend or acquaintance anyway, truuuth.
  4. Be proud of your insecurities, when your honest about your insecurities in means that you are emotionally healthy.
  5. Accept the fact that most of us struggle with Covert Narcissism and Pride. When your Narcissism comes out, say; “Hey, my narcissism came out there when I said that comment.  I’m sorry I was prideful.”  If we each can develop the habit of doing this regularly we can heal ourselves of our narcissism.
  6. Read 3 books on narcissism, focus on yourself, not others. The wolf dressed in sheep’s clothing (explains spiritual narcissism), disarming the narcissist, and the wizard of Oz & other narcissists are all good books.  Read everything with a healthy grain of salt of course.
  7. Learn to say the phrase; “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings, tell me more about how I hurt your feelings. Goal-Listen only, try not to defend yourself.
  8. Learn to show real interest in other people’s lives by asking GREAT QUESTIONS.
  9. Learn and become familiar with other people’s non-verbal’s. If there being distant, cold, shut off, or acting upset with you, ask why?  Learn to pay attention to people’s non-verbal’s and show care if your words or non-verbal actions hurt somebody else’s feelings.
  10. Learn to give a genuine apology as manifested by changed behavior. If there is no change in your behavior, your apology meant nothing.
  11. LEARN TO BE HUMBLE. LEARN TO BE HUMBLE. LEARN TO BE HUMBLE.  (hmm, 3 times, this must be IMPORTANT!  If you can learn humility, you can heal your Narcissism.  Humility is saying; Teach Me, Help Me, I’m Lost, I’m Listening, I don’t know what I am doing, I’m clueless, I need help, teach me more, tell me more, I am listening, I am wrong, I am unskilled in this area.
  12. Ask people regularly in your life, “Do you feel like I REALLY LISTEN TO you when you’re talking to me?” If they say, NO, then listen to their response, learn from their feedback. Learn to ask people; How was your day?  Listen intently to their answer.
  13. Give yourself GRACE, overcoming Narcissism will take time. If you have been this way for most of your life, givve yourself time to heal your Narcissism wound.

As I am closing up shop here, let me leave you with another gluten free 5 ingredient or less recipe.  This is a recipe that I made up in my own kitchen and it is VERY SIMPLE, I call it “Banna Spice.”  This recipe name I came up with because my daughter Kaylee wrote down bananas on my grocery list as “bannas” and now whenever were talking about bananas in our home,  we just call them banna’s.   🙂 

Ingredients

1 Banana pealed.

1 zip lock bag with ½ cup of oatmeal, 1 teaspoon of sugar, 1 teaspoon of cinnamon. 

Mix the last three ingredients together in a zip lock bag and then take your banana and “dip” your banana in the oatmeal bag.  This is a delicious snack when you are on the go and need something quick.    ENJOY!  Continue reading

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What the HECK is healthy spirituality? Meh only knows :)

Hey Ya’ll!  I’m back!  So a little confession for you.  🙂  I do not write for anyone else’s eyes, except for my own.  Frankly, I could care less if anybody else reads these blogs or not.  You see, when I write, I connect to my own soul and when I am connected to my own soul is when I provide the BEST THERAPY.  Any who, I am in the process of writing several books and its a little bit of a confidence builder for me to put some of my stuff from my books on this stupid blog, even though there in the “ROUGH draft” stage of development.

I love writing rough drafts with errors, and all.  Frankly, I may very well just have to publish some books with a lot of spelling errors and grammatical errors ON PURPOSE because I think it would help heal us all from that man made silly “perfectionism.” stuff.  I was just reading that looooooong blog about “75 words I want to take out of the dictionary bla bla bla post” and as I was reading that I thought to myself, “wow, that part sounded REDICULOUS and RIGID, I DON’T THINK LIKE THAT!  I make myself laugh sometimes.

Everybody has there vices I guess and I would probably say that one of my vices is my website, silly as that sounds.  I love going on my website and making stupid changes, tweeking this, tweeking that, whatever.   I think the reason why I like it so much is, just like my writing connects me to my soul, my website connects me to my soul as well.   Why?  Because I am a therapist, or a healer of pain…on my good days that it is….  On my BAD days, I just make myself think I am a Healer of Pain and then I feel better…. chuckle, chuckle, some good ol narcissistic humor for you.   Any who, enough tangents.  Let’s talk about something else……drum role please…..

WHAT THE HECK IS HEALTHY SPIRITUALITY?

I don’t know, but I’ll take some guesses at it.   I don’t feel like typing much longer, so lets do a top ten list!

  1. Healthy spirituality is about; “Being Humble, Because You Could Be Wrong.”
  2. I believe many Atheists and Agnostics know Yahweh  or Meh. (btw, Meh is my all time  favorite agnostic name for god.) Why?  Because a lot of the time agnostics and atheists just think god is marginal or Meh at best.  They just don’t know that they know yahweh.  Case in point, if Yahweh was manifested in a human being today, I think He/She would probably be a open-minded, agnostic, peace making, truth telling, Friend of Jesus, Hippie loving soul.
  3. People of all Religions can know Meh or Yahweh.
  4. A Healthy Relationship with Meh or yahweh is summed up by Micah 6:8.

And what does the Lord require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
    and to walk humbly with your God.  that’s it.”

Yes, Sam Harris I believe you know Yahweh, you just don’t didn’t know that you knew Yahweh because Yahweh is not who you think He/She is…and I believe you are right on about many of your thoughts regarding religion….

6. What does it mean to Walk Humbly with God?  Be Vulnerable, admit your issues, yell at God, scream at God, tell God how much you think He/She is a Sociopath.  Truly, I think one of the phrases to best descrive God would be that of a “Loving Sociopath.”  I do not mean that in a negative way at all, I mean that in a realistic way.  You see, Yahweh looks at the heart, man judges outward appearances.    Tell God how much you hate him/her, are indifferent, etc.  whatever.

7. Meh is NOT going to help you solve your problems.  Yahweh IS THE CREATOR, NOT YOUR PERSONAL GENIE.  He/She gave you a body, a brain, and all creation as your playground.  Bad things happen, horrible things happen, HORRIBLE THINGS HAPPEN, REALLY REALLY REALLY HORRIBLE THINGS HAPPEN, that does not make Yahweh innately bad.  Frankly, I would not want it any other way.  Free will is the most beautiful gift that we have been given.

8. Healthy Faith is about having some eternal optimism.  Eternal optimism is the belief that; IN ALL ETERNITY, MERCY AND JUSTICE WILL PREVAIL FOR ALL.  I believe in this to the core of my being.  This is my reality in my life irregardless to how my life will turn out. People who equate God’s sovernigy with; “what did or did not happen in their life” is really seeing God through a humanistic/narcissistic lense.

9. “Prayer” does NOT work.  I THINK GOD WANTS TO TELL YOU;  “I WILL NOT HELP YOU IN THE WAY YOU THINK I WILL.  I Helped you by giving you a brain, a body, eyes, nose, feet, arms, insight, etc. I HAVE GIVEN YOU EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO  HELP YOUR SELF.  So, you really think I am going to answer your prayer for a 4th kid, all the while there are MILLIONS of starving children WHO ARE DYNG EVERY DAY AND BEING KILLED? REALLY?  WAKE UP!  Many of you devout and religious people enrage me with your so called ego obsessed life that is masked as  “faith.”      I believe the original intention behind prayer was that when we prayer for others, we are healed in the process.  When I volunteer, give to others, pray for others, help others out, I am not focusing on myself for the moment.  Because of this, prayer can heal us from selfishness, narcissism, egocentrism, etc.  However, the best prayer is simply a hard worker, just work hard.   (word of wisdom to the devouts!)  In God’s eyes, I believe your work ethic IS your prayer life.  He/She could care less about your prayers, he sees your true character by your work ethic. Prayer is just words, words mean nothing, actions mean everything.  God does not answer prayers like religious people think He/She does.  If God did answer prayer like that, faith would no longer be pure, because people will only have “faith” for what God can do for them.  This is not faith at all, this is just selfishness, religious narcissism masked as faith. 

10. Healthy confession is an integral  part of a relationship with God.  You see, we all sin and we are all LOOOOOVED BY God more than we know.   🙂  We need to be honest about sins and our struggles with Yahweh.  What is Sin?  Sin is ego, sin is rationalizing, self righteousness, “perfectionism”, narcissism, piety, lying, not committing to our word, pride, murder, image, image addiction, artificiality, addictions, lust, (when you let it control your life.) promiscuity, richness, etc, etc. etc.  Disclaimer, there are many people who may be rich and do NOT struggle with the sin of “richness.”   I believe we all sin AND I believe God sins.  🙂  We are not made to be perfect, we are made to struggle with sin, we are made to confess our sins and be cleansed, we are made to be quirky, flawed, insecure sometimes, beautiful, etc.  Sin is anything in our life that stops us from EVOLVING into our truest potential.  For example, someone may see someone like Mother Theresa and think, “She did not sin.” Yes she did.  Her sin was that she blindly accepted the Catholics teachings as infallible and she did not use her God-given brain to decipher whether those teaching were accurate or not.   Her sin was also that she put  the saints and the pope on a pedestal and no one should be put on a pedestal like that.  (In my own humble opinion.)  So what does healthy confession look like?

Take a piece of paper out.

Write on there; My sins, my struggles, and Your Forgiveness.

Write out your sins and what you have been struggling with.  Then Let God intervene and express his forgiveness and mercy over you.  When we are heart felt and genuine with our confessions, we will  receive forgiveness and mercy. However, when we just say a confession for the sake of it and we make no attempts to change our behavior, our confession was probably just for our own conscience and there is no redemption there.  At the core, the purpose of confession is to receive complete redemption and restoration. What would a confession look like?  Write on a piece of paper these things and then go into a church, synagogue, or mosque and leave the paper at the alter.  When people do this exercise, it will feel like a burden has been lifted. ( if you were honest.)  You may also want to burn the paper and put it in a fire as a sign of God’s cleansing.  Here is an example:

My sins,

I lied to my girlfriend because I was afraid to tell her the truth about my past last week.

My struggles,

I am really lonely, I feel like I have no one.  god, you feel so far away.  I don’t like you sometimes.  I miss my family.  I miss my best friend louise.  Why wont’t he call me any more?  I am scared to need my girlfriend, so I end up doing all these stupid games to try and keep her close, but it just ends up pushing her away.  I’m scared to let her in and open up to her about my past.  I need to tell Louise that it hurt my feelings that he stopped calling me, how do I do that?

God intervening,

Thank you for being honest with me.  Tell Louise, if Louise is a real friend to you Son, he will LISTEN TO YOU vs. GET DEFENSIVE.   I know you are so scared right now.  I know I feel like I am a million miles away right now.  Son, by you confessing your struggles and sins to me right now I am in the process of cleansing your heart.  I am giving you courage to tell your girlfriend about your struggle with lying.  I will also give you courage to talk to your friend.  Please know, courage is not moving forward without fear, courage is MOVING FORWARD in the MIDST of fear.  Your sins are forgiven my son, go in peace.

yahweh

I believe God is way more enraged by piety, spiritual narcissism, image obsessed people than he is with people who struggle with addictions for example.  That’s why you always found Jesus with the down and outs, the addicts, etc.  These people were typically much more humble, AUTHENTIC, and WAY MORE ENJOYABLE TO BE AROUND than the pharisees of the time.  We have SO MANY PHARISEES IN OUR DAY, IT’S C-R-A-Z-Y!  I believe a lot of Evangelical Christians for example may be spiritual narcissists, but they do not know it. They wear their faith like its something to show off, always saying; “lord this, lord that, lord willing, lord, lord, lord, lord……They in turn raise their children in the same way and they think they are raising their children to “Fear the Lord.” however, in actuality they are just raising their children to be spiritual narcissists often times.  The priest/pastor who is all “holy” and “self righteuos” and thinks he/she has a closer relationship with the Lord simply because he/she is a “Pastor” and/or may think he is better off than other people because of their “spirituality” is far worse off than the drug addict who knows who he is and has no pretense.

11. What are your thoughts on Faith?   I am curious…

 

All for now, I’m signing off!  Here is another Gluten Free 5 ingredient or less recipe for you!  Here is a recipe for Pesto Chicken Soup from:

Via Gimme Some Oven

“If you love pesto pasta, then this is the perfect recipe for you. Obvioulsy, your favorite pesto and chicken fettuccini is full of gluten and all those ingridients you’re trying to avoid with a new lifestyle. However, this pesto chicken soup is perfect for easing that craving without giving in to the things that are bad for you. Use homemade pesto or store bought (I won’t tell!)”

Ingredients:

  • 4 cups good-quality chicken stock
  • 3 handfuls (about 3 cups) fresh spinach
  • 2 cups shredded cooked chicken
  • 2 (14 ounce) cans Great Northern or cannellini beans, rinsed and drained
  • 1/3 cup pesto

Mix all the ingredients together in a pot and simmer over medium heat for 15 minutes. ENJOY!

Warm Regards,

Kelly Johnson, MA, LPC

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Words I want out of the dictionary…and other wild hair+ ideas :)

If you could do one thing to change the world what would you do?

Sometimes it’s really fun to DREAM!   I am a real goof ball obviously and I have a lot of weird ideas sometimes.  This post is 100% out of the blue, I know, but sometimes its really FUN to post something unrelated to counseling!  (But it has everything to do with counseling all in the same breath.) A lot of my blog posts will probably end up in some of my books some day.  But for right now, I am just putting them in here as my blog.  I know blogs are supposed to be short and mine are anything but short, but oh well!  Some rules are meant to be broken.  🙂  I have changed this blog 20+ times and I will keep changing it as long as more ideas keep coming to me.

My criteria for this list is; has this word stopped human beings from evolving into their highest potential?  If the answer is YES, the word stays on my list, if the answer is NO, the word will come off my list.  Hopefully that will explain why I keep adding words and taking off words, aka, this is 100% a rough draft! Actually, when I turn this blog into a book, you’ll see that what I have written so far is much more like an outline to a book, than an actual book.   One can see, I speak in contradictions sometimes, however most of these words choices are not meant to be taken literally.  But they are meant to be taken as true maybe 90% of the time, just a guess, common sense of course.

Also, I will not push my opinion onto someone else with most of these.  (unless I can stop personal harm from happening.)   For example, a client of mine is in her mid 60’s and she gets some plastic surgery type stuff done from time to time.  She has worked very hard through out her life and who am I to tell her to not get plastic surgery?  She can do whatever she wants to do with her money, its her money. 🙂  By the way, with my personality type I would never tell my opinion about these issues to anyone.  Many people whom have known me for 20+ years would read this and may be be shocked that I think a certain way about something..

As I said towards the bottom of this blog, I am well aware that this post may come across like I am a little cre cre or bi-polar.   Heck, lets do a little experiment to see how bi-polar I am, this experiment will tell you how horrible we are at diagnosing bi-polar.  Take this whole post, copy and paste it into a microsoft word document, take off all of the bold print, make it regular print.  Take off all the exclamation points, and capitols as well.  Have every sentence in simple sentence format strictly which entails the first letter of the first word in the sentence capitalized, then the remainder of the sentence in lower case regular print, ending each sentence with a period.

Now, do you still think I’m bi-polar?  😉

Anywho, I have thought about this question for a long time.   If I could change the world, I would;

……. drum roll please….

just take out words from the dictionary that WERE *never, never, never* intended to be there in the first place.

I am extremely practical and I am also a tad bit lazy, so if I could change the world I would want to do it in a way that was practical, achievable and somewhat easy.  Wow!   Did I just say that out loud?  Silly me, that thought was supposed to stay in my head.  Here are one hundred and something words I believe were never intended to be in the dictionary in the first place.  Yes, I know simply removing a word from the dictionary will not eliminate any problem, this is a huge system problem of course.  But, if the word was taken out of the dictionary my implication would be that there would not be that condition that needed a word to define itself.  It seems only natural and practical that my first word choice would be…… If I was a Modern Day Prophet, sounds narcissistic I know, this would be my ministry, just take the words out of the dictionary that were never intended to be there in the first place.  😉  read # 11…

0. Disclaimer:   Open up every self help improvement book and you will probably see within the first few pages a disclaimer statement.  THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY SAD TO ME AND THIS SHOWS CLEARLY HOW SCREWED UP OUR SO CALLED JUSTICE SYSTEM IS.  If I write a book and you choose to try my advice, that is your own choice.  NO ONE MADE YOU READ THAT BOOK, TRY THAT RECOMMENDATION, ETC.  If you received harm from reading that book because you chose to not talk to your doctor about it before you did it, that is your own choice.  WE ARE ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS LOOKING FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO BLAME.  When are we going to get back to people taking personal responsibility for their own lives? Do you own research, you can clearly see I am not a doctor, so any risks that you take because you have not contacted your “doctor” are risks that you have chosen to take.

Of course, with any of these word choices listed below, I have the right to be WRONG & TO CHANGE MY IDEAS about anything that I am saying.

  1. DISORDER- I do not believe that we have disorders. Let me say that again, we do not have Disorders, we have Wounds, Traits, conditions, and Experiences.  Narcissism is a wound, BPD is a wound, Depression is an Experience, and the diagnosis of Autism I believe is an unevolved trait.  What do you think?  You see, I think Yahweh has created us for 5 purposes; we are created to EVOLVE, we are created to WORK, we are created to learn,  we are created to be beautiful,  and we are created to be RELATIONAL.  When we face our fears and our feelings, we EVOLVE! I believe in Evolution like I believe in the Sun and no I do not believe we evolved from Monkeys.  However, the first human beings most definitely looked a lot like monkeys because they needed hair on their body to keep themselves warm because they had no shelter.  We are created to evolve, so if we have been given a disability, we have also been given the ability to overcome and conquer from that disability.

 

  1. FAT-The # 1 cause of eating disorders worldwide is the word FAT. Because when we are talking about food, we are also talking about “fat.” At the grocery store I say, “I want the higher fat milk.”  My daughter hears the word “higher fat” and she thinks that drinking that type of milk will make her fat.  HOW RIDICULOUS IS THAT!!!  And, fat simultaneously is also a word used to describe people who are over-weight.  This word is a silent soul killer which has created millions of eating disorders WORLD WIDE.  So, what would happen if we took the word FAT off of our nutrition labels?  We would have to substitute it with another word.   My recommendation?  Fill.  This milk has 9 grams of fill.  That cheese has 6 grams of fill.  My substitute pick for describing people who are thicker would be; plump.  Some people are created to be thin, other people are created to be average, others are created to be plump.   I do NOT believe anyone is created to be obese.  Additionally, because being obese is linked to a plethora of health problems, I do not think that anyone should be born into obesity.  This should be a conscience choice that one can choose in adulthood.  The reality is that weight is pain, when we weigh a lot, I believe we are also holding in a lot of pain.  Frankly, a lot of people like the word fat, so maybe we just need to take it off of our food labels and replace it with fill.  🙂

 

  1. Pill- Pills should not be our medicine, our medicine should be our foods, herbs, and spices. Even still, if we absolutely need medication, we should take our medicine in its purest form, a powder. You can mix any medicine in oatmeal and/or a smoothie and you could not taste it.  In order for a pill to be shaped into a pill we have to add all of these chemicals to it.  Plain and simple, we do not need all of these medications, but when we do need them, we need to take the medication in its purest form, a powder.   Hmm, that must mean I don’t believe in 9o% of medication, true story. :/  Of course, I believe in medication, I just don’t believe it is the cure all for most of our ails.

 

  1. GOD- When I think of God, I think of Ignorance, when I think of God, I think of Anti-intellectualism, when I think of God, I think of sexism, when I think of God, I think of injustice. When I think of God, I think of narrow-mindedness.  When I think of God, I think of Anti-Science. So, evidently, we need a new name for God.  My favorite pick YAHWEH or Meh (my favorite agnostic name for god.) …(I think God would agree too) In Genesis, it said, “We created them, man, and woman in our image.”  While I am not a literalist in ANY WAY in terms of bible interpretation, I do believe very strongly that this scripture means we do have a Heavenly Mother and a Heavenly Father in Heaven.  What is Yahweh like?  Well, I don’t know, but I do know She made us out of her image.  So, what that means to me is Yahweh must struggle with insecurity, fear, anxiety, hurt, loneliness, pain, regret, etc.  just like we all do.   I do believe Yahweh is a she, but of course I do not think Yahweh is a female.  When you think of Yahweh being a she, you will probably heal some of your dis-like or hatred that you may have felt towards God.  When I think of God as a she, its a decent blend of feminine and masculine energy.  When I see Yahweh as a She, She seems more comforting and nurturing. When I think of yahweh as a She, my guards start to come down and I think to myself, maybe I can start to trust this god.  But god is not a female, She has He and She in it.  So, that’s why I think that she is probably the best word to describe Yahweh.

 

  1. Perfectionism/Perfectionist- THESE two WORDS DRIVE ME NUTS! God did not create us to be perfect, Meh created us to be flawed, quirky, weird, beautiful, REAL, & AUTHENTIC. When I hear, someone say; “I struggle with perfectionism, in my mind it registers as “I struggle with pretending I’m a FISH!”  Just CRAZY TALK!  If you think you struggle with perfectionism, you also struggle with narcissism.  Narcissism is a close cousin of perfectionism.  Narcissism and perfectionism can be healed with excellent therapy.  Also, I am probably the world’s most disorganized perfectionist.  So, in order to heal my own perfectionism a little, I am going to write this blog on purpose with many grammatical, spelling, numbering, bolding, and formatting errors. Take that perfectionism, you are LAME.  😊

 

5.5 Escalation/Descalation/Anger Management-  We live in a world where no one can get ANGRY.  I think Anger is a holy emotion created by Yahweh.  When we express our anger, someone can change their behavior.  So Anger is a pre-curser for GROWTH AND CHANGE.  Also, sometimes swearing can be quite fun. (read my next blog.)    In our work environment, we need to learn how to say things like; I’m angry at you, I’m really angry at you,  I’m annoyed with you and this is why.   We need to learn how to express our anger repeatedly.  If someone is annoying, they need to be told that and given an explanation.  The feeling of being annoyed neeeds to be EXPRESSED, because if it is not expressed, then you are robbing that other person or yourself of an opportunity to grow their personsalities.  Speaking of, our personalities are designed to be grown, like a garden kind of.  So, when I confront someone on being annoying, I am providing them with an opportunity where

their personality can GROW.

 

ONCE AGAIN, OUR PERSONALITY IS DESIGNED TO GROW

grow

through out our whole life.   

We should never be reprimanded for expresses anger, unless it is abusive, anger is great, its God-given.  Sure there are less healthy and healthier ways of expressing anger, but over all, expressing anger is NEEDED and in most relationships there starved for some much needed fights and opportunities where anger is VENTED!    I once worked with this couple and I was providing couples counseling for them and the woman said she thought she had an anger problem and she felt horrible that she let herself get so angry in front of her child.  While I did agree with her that she needed to learn tools to express her feelings underneath the anger, I also felt like she was very hard on herself and she believed a lie that all anger is toxic or bad.

PIZZA- no more pizza’s with enriched flour, only whole wheat flour

manic- we should never call people manic.  I PURPOSEFULLY try to look manic in this blog to proove how mania is often times surface level and based off of pre-judgement.  A manic personality can be created because of ritual abuse as well.   How do I try to look manic in this blog? By all capping everything, putting a ton of exclamation points everywhere, etc.  It’s a lesson in learning how much we all judge people.

SUBWAY- no more sandwiches with enriched flour.  We just need to 100% stop using enriched flour, rice needs to be our new enriched flour substitute. .

in patient mental health clinics- in patient mental health clinics need to ceaze to exist because they are 89% unethical.  Why?  Because in patient mental health clinics take away people’s basic human rights, they require you to injest different drugs and at these centers you are normally not allowed to go outside, not allowed to eat foods you like, and they basically take all of your human rights away from you and make you pay them sick amounts of money.

Nature heals people,  people need to be in nature to connect with their soul and heal emotionally.  Honestly,  wild hair idea here, ideally, if therapy was done outside or in a windowfull office, therapeutic outcomes would go way up becaue people would be in nature.   These centers force people to participate in all of these therapy groups etc.  Also, in-patient programs create a type of life that does not emulate real life in any way, shape, or form, so its sets people up for failure.      When someone is in inpatient, nothing about inpatient life resembles real life, so of course people go back to their own way of doing things and/or relapse after they get out.

I am not saying that good therapy does not happen at these places or that there may not be an excellent program that is budget healthy, I’m sure there are.  But these statements are for the general rule of thumb, of course there are always exceptions to the norm. Instead of the inpatient programs, we need to turn these centers into healing abuse centers, where anyone can call the abuse hotlines, (now the suicide hotlines) and can get into an abuse treatment program that is an intensive outpatient or they can just call their emotional health doctor and get help.

random thought: EVERY HUMAN BEING IN THE WHOLE WORLD NEEDS  TO HAVE THEIR OWN EMOTIONAL MENTAL HEALTH DOCTOR THAT THEY ARE REQUIRED TO SEE AT LEAST 2X EACH YEAR.

 

Mental Health Hospitlization- We should not do this, this makes people worse and takes peoples basic human right away from them.   THERE IS SO MUCH ABUSE THAT IS GOING ON IN OUR WORLD, ITS SO SAD!  ALL OF the mental health clinics that are focused on preventing suicide, need to be transitioned to stopping/preventing abuse.  Once again, suicidal ideation is a condition that the privaledge struggle with, if you visit first world countries that are very very poor, you will see that suicidal rates are much lower.  Suicidal ideation I think sometimes is another word for selfishness, but not always.  maybe im wrong though… I’m wrong about kinda of a lot of stuff…  what do you think?

hospital/Medical Clinic- all medical clinics and hospitals, are ocd in their care because they are unaware of one very important piece of knowledge that once they accept this piece of knowledge I believe the type of care they provide will change dramatically. 

we all have a built in immune system that protects us from illness and catching diseases.  When we are prescribing antibiotics and using hand sanitizers so much we are

LOWERING THE EFFECTIVENESS OF OUR OWN BUILT IN IMMUNE SYSTEM TO BE ABLE TO FIGHT OFF ILLNESSES ON ITS OWN.  for this reason, I am normally against the use of antibiotics and most other medications unless it is absolutely necessary. When I think of church, I think of two places; the place we go to on sunday and the hospital.  Hospitals need to be seen as the second part of church because there all about HEALING.  For that reason, all hospitals need to be run with values that honor God; integrity, REAL CARE, FRUGALITY, EXCELLENCE, CHARACTER…. People should leave a hospital and feel closer to God after their visit. 

When we do not use medication to fight off illness, but let our own BUILT IN IMMUNE SYSTEM fight off of the illness, our bu;ilt in immune system will get better and better with age.

medical clinics like Kaiser, health partners, centura health, hospitals, cigna, etc, etc need to be equally staffed with physical health and emotional health and these two fields need to work collaboratively with each other.  Also, common sense is normally not something that is taught in an education program, for that reason just because a doctor is a medical doctor and does not have a degree in psychology does not mean he or she does not have incredibly valuable insights to share with the emotional mental health doctor and vice versa.  An excellent doctor NEEDS to realize this and take head to good advice when given, irregardless who gives its.  In our current medical system, doctors have too much power and its unhealthy.  If a doctor is too narcissistic to be able to do this, he or she needs accountability and may or may not need to take a leave of absence from their work and get some therapy for their narcissism, or they can get the narcissism therapy while there working,

Also doctors should never have the final say on someone’s length of stay, etc. Each person ultimately has the decision if they are going to be treated and how long there going to be treated for.  (unless its shots, aids, etc that prevent or causes harm to other people, etc) In terms of mental health, there should be no such thing as a mental health hold, you can not force anyone to be hospitalized for 72 hours, I believe that is taking away their basic rights.

 

  1. Special Education- I know hate is a strong word, but I hate probably 75% of special education. 75% of our special education programs coddle children, enable children, and turn children into the most unevolved version of themselves. Special Education=a system that keeps people from evolving and growing. “Gifted and Talented”- I hate this phrase, plain and simple. 99.9% of the gifted and talented people in this world would not be labeled gifted and talented in our warped education system. Speaking of education, in my dream world we would have an education system that talk life skills k-12 and in college we receive specialized training for our career.  Our education system now teaches no life skills, none.  Case in point, gemonetry, physics, algebra I, aggebra II, trigonometry, chemistry, civics.  When is ANYONE GOING TO USE ANY OF THOSE SKILLS IN THEIR LIFE?   Anyways, I think we need to be teaching life skills in our education system k-12 instead and teach job readiness skills in bachelors programs that will be needed for a career.   By the time that anyone graduates from high school in  1st-12th they should have classes such as instruction in teeth brushing*, cleaning, cooking, addition, subtraction, division, multiplication, financial management/investing, reading, writing, shapes, colors, feelings/emotions education, cursive, typing, phone calling eqiquett/practice, baby-sitting, world history, indian history or “real” history.  I loooove learning about history, but unforntently so many of our history books are partially inaccurate and/or biased, e.g “Columbus day.”.    Social skills class, pet care, self employment basics, career exploration class, character class, acting, music appreciation, art, Diversity Class, World Cultures, Celebrating Differences Class, Physical Education, public speaking, hair styles, volunteering, earth science and/or creationism.  (I define Earth Science/ Creationism as learning about/studying all the earth, animals and all the different species known to man kind.)   Aero-Space/the planets, fashion class, work class, (learning about how to have a job/work, internship in a job, Gardening, Psychology, World Religions, Farming, (homesteading.), driving class, 1 hour of recess per day or 1 hour of outside time, language class, (I would want every child to have the opportunity to become bilingual)

*Teeth brushing should be incorporated into our education because there are millions of people who grow up in homes where there parents never taught them to brush their teeth and people should never have to loose their teeth because their parents never taught them.  How Sad!

 

  1. Abortion- I do not believe this is about pro-choice or pro-life. Frankly, I am PRO WOMAN!  Woman who choose to have an abortion do so for one of three reasons; fear, shame from their family, or selfishness.  What would it be like if we as a community really supported each other where we eliminated all of these reasons?   With a pregnant woman who is not wanting to keep her baby for example; What would it look like if we as a community showered you with love?  We throw you an amazing YOU ARE A-M-A-Z-I-N-G beauty shower instead of a baby shower and we will shower you with gifts to make you feel beautiful on the inside and on the outside.  We will get you into counseling, etc.  YOU SEE, IF WE LIVED IN A WORLD WHERE WE TRULY LOVED EACH OTHER, NO WOMAN WOULD WANT TO HAVE AN ABORTION.  Ttruthfully though, in our current world,  there is not a lot of love here for women going through this experience.  The problem is a lack of love, not a matter of choice.   The problem is a lack of patience, (9 months) not a matter of choice.  There are some babies that are not formed properly in the womb and because of this they have such a horrible quality of life.  I really do think abortion is the best course of action with these little souls, and I do believe in Meh ‘s goodness He will give that little soul a second chance at life.  🙂

 

  1. Suicide-This word has contributed to millions of people killing themselves. We have glorified death and violence in our culture in every way.  When we stop doing this, we will see a huge decrease in the number of suicide deaths and all deaths for that matter.  (Hmm, if we got rid of this word, it looks like we would have to get rid of ALL OF THOSE SUICIDE HOTLINES AS WELL!!  Good, these services have only made the problem worse.  Don’t believe me, look at the numbers, numbers don’t lie.   In the United States, suicide rates are at an all-time high.  Instead of suicide hotlines, we should have abuse hotlines where if someone is abusing others they can call and get help.  If someone chooses to end their life, we just simply say they chose to end their life. Speaking of the word suicide, it makes me think of phsycician assisted suicide.  If someone is 90 years old,  has dimentia, can’t get out of bed,  and wants to die,  we should not be spending money to keep them alive.  Everyone had the right to die when they want to die.  In this case, we should have a funeral with the person still there.
  2. Ritual Abuse/Hypnosis/Mind Control/Dissociative Identity Disorder:  OUT OF EVERYTHING I SHARE ON THIS BLOG, this will be the       MOST                 U-N-B-E-L-I-E-V-A-B-L-E.   But sadly, its true.   Satan is a real force and you will find Satan in deception and satanic ritual abuse.   The reason why no children come out of the wood works and say that incest is going on is because millions of children are the victims of ritual abuse.  Unbelievably so, Ritual abuse is where parents create dissociative idenitity disorder in their children through hypnosis and the dissociated personalities hide the incest from the conscience brain.  So, the dissociated parts of the personality system hide the abuse and the conscience parts of the persons personality would have no memory of the abuse occuring.  shockingly, through hypnosis (which is mind control) someone can make (program) someone else to feel any sort of feelings.  Someone can hypnotize someone to experience and/or feel despair, depression, anxiety, hallucinations, delusions, etc.  You can hypnotize someone to decompensate mentally and cognitively.  Believe it or not, many people with these above conditions, have been lead to believe for their whole life that they just have mental illness,  and when their “mental illness” strikes they are lead to go back home, where there “loving” parents can take care of them.   However, there is a huge difference in between schitzophrenia which occurs in early to mid 20’s and ritual abuse dissociative identity disorder/psychosis.  What is the difference?  Schitzophrenia always hits someone in their early to mid 20’s, if someone has Ritual Abuse Disssociative Idenitity Disorder, it means that they have dissociative parts to their personality that will only come out  if their programmer brings them out and if there is a specific function/purpose for bringing out that dissociated self state.  You see, our brain is like a computer in that through hypnosis, we can be programmed to feel or experience anything on demand.  The programmer of the hypnosis can program the victims brain to feel or experience anything mentally and psychologically.  Don’t believe me?  watch any hypnosis show for some insights into this dynamic.  Because we have lived in a w0rld where pedophiles would be locked up for good if pedophilia came out, the pedophile community came up with a way to get away with the abuse so no one would know, not even the child.    When you have grown up in a family that practices ritual abuse, you may have 10-50+ different dissociated personalities and you would never know about ANY OF THESE PERSONALITIES, UNLESS THEIR WAS A REASON OR A PURPOSE FOR THESE DISSOCIATED PERSONALITIES TO COME OUT.   For example, hypothetically speaking, if a women is in her early 30’s and has had no prior history of psychosis, mental illness, schizophrenia, etc. zero, zilch, nada, NONE. NONE. NONE.  And then all of a sudden, at the age of 31, at the EXACT SAME TIME THAT PEDOPHILIA ABUSE ALLEGATIONS COME OUT regarding her daughter, she becomes psychotic, this cause and effect only happens if this women grew up in a ritual abuse family.  You would know for a fact this was so, because like clockwork this women would starts to experience severe psychosis on many levels simultaneously as the abuse allegations were coming out regarding her daughter.  Why?   Because  this women grew up in a family that practices ritual abuse, and when the abuse allegations were coming out, the parents needed to discredit her allegations, so there was a purpose for bringing the psychotic dissociated alter state to the surface, which was created back in childhood to hide incest abuse from ever coming out.   If you grew up in a family that practices ritual abuse, you will most likely marry someone in the ritual abuse circle, so its kind of like an arrangement marriage, but of course you would never know that in a million years.   YOUR FAMILIES ON THE OUTSIDE WOULD always LOOK LIKE THE BEAVER CLEAVER FAMILY, just perfect, and none of the siblings would EVEN HAVE ONE MEMORY OF THE ABUSE.  How do I know?  I have been a victim of ritual abuse/mind control.    Believe it or not, Most of the books written on this topic have nothing to do with what real satanic ritual abuse is and the books sound 100% more crazy than even this post does, because these books are actually written by ritual abuse programmers as discrediting campaigns so no one in their right mind would actually believe that the real satanic  ritual abuse stuff exists.   Who has time for all of this?  Who can organize all of this? This can not be possible, no way!!!!  I’ll let you figure that one out.   I  have been a victim of horrible horrible satanic ritual abuse for most of my life.  Consequently, I have ritual abuse dissociative identity disorder.  On the outside, of course my family prides themself as looking like the beaver cleaver family.   Lord, have mercy on my soul, heal me.  In all human history, ritual abuse by far is the most kept secret from the public, 99% of people who are victims of ritual abuse, would never know  it.  The truth is no one would have ANY IDEA IF THEY WERE BEING HYPNOTIZED, IT IS THE ONLY TRULY 100% PROOFLESS ( no proof) CRIME THAT IS OUT THERE.  Except for intuition, and intuition is the only evidence you need when you are trying to solve a murder mystery.  Intuition will tell you if someone has been hypnotized or not.  When you have the gift of intuition, you look at someone’s behavior for their whole life and you see if its matching the behavior that is in question. Frankly, these people do not like whistle-blowers, not one bit, revenge can mean death or a slow psychological death where they torture you for the rest of your life; severe impairment psychologically, anxiety, cognitive impairment, psychosis, memory issues,  horrible driving to cause car accidents, you can also be hypnotized to fall asleep at the wheel, which will look like an accidental death, loose your career because of apparent “mental decline”, you can be hypnotized to abuse your children by hypnotizing someone to feel rage, you can be hypnotized to have feelings of deep despair and impulsivity.   (many people who have committed suicide, were actually murdered and the murder weapon was  hypnosis.)  For example, I would never commit suicide in a million years, I love every aspect of life, but I am a victim or satanic ritual abuse, so if I ever were to commit suicide you would know for a 100% fact that I was actually murdered because of ritual  abuse and mind control.    Believe it or not, MOST PEOPLE WHO HAVE SUFFERERED FROM MENTAL ILLNESS, HAVE ACTUALLY BEEN VICTIMS OF RITUAL ABUSE and consequently have ritual abuse dissociative identity disorder, NOT MENTAL ILLNESS.  Shockingly, some people who are in prison, are in prison because they were the victims of hypnosis.  
  3. The consequences of me sharing in this blog this can be death, suicide murder, accident, etc.   But a Prophet is a whistle blower, no matter the cost.   Oops, ohh shoot, that slipped out, I CAN NOT BELIEVE I JUST SAID THAT.   It looks like I shared my little cre cre secret..  true story, YAHWEH, the Creator of Heaven and Earth told me I was a modern day Prophet 2 years ago last January, to which I responded; “G, you are 101% insane, C-R-A-Z-Y, and you have COMPLETELY lost your mind.”  and I would rather NOT talk about it with anyone, unless you are my future husband or soul mate , if there is such a thing, and even then silence is much more comforting than words.  I would rather die and go up to heaven than have someone ask me about that.  I’m just me who sins a good amount and has quirks just like every body else, and I want to stay that way.  Why am I sharing it?  So my soul can heal a little, the feeling of my psychosis being exposed is so F-R-E-E-I-N-G-.  (1 week after I wrote this, I was victim of severe mind control abuse and programmed  to walk right in front of a moving car and I was in the hospital for 3 weeks because of my injuries.     
  4. Speaking of death,  I think everyone should be a donor.  (because I’m pretty sure we get a new body in heaven) boy that would suck if we didn’t!  Lol,  a guy named Steve gets up to heaven and his old buddy from grade school came up to him and said,  Steve where’s your arm?  Steve goes, donated it.  I’m fresh out of luck haha?! WA WA WA.. Lame joke..

 

  1. Billionaire- No one should have the net worth of a billion dollars. What would it be like if we would live in a world where an individual can make anywhere from 0-250,000 per year. (Hmm, I’m debating should this number be 300?)  (If you cannot be happy and well-adjusted on 250,000 -per year than you have other problems you need to work through and excellent therapy will be the ONLY THING that can solve those problems, MONEY CAN NOT.
  2. colored ink in church brochures- why do our church brochures have colored ink and people on the other side of the world are starving to death.  Because 99.9% of churches are evil!  No wonder why agnostics and atheists know god more than devouts, devouts are tything to a church that is making colored brochures all the while there are starving people on the other side of the world.
  3. Air Conditioning- lets be more green!  All of our homes need to be GREEN.

 

  1. Homelessness- I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT HOMELESS PROGRAMS IN FIRST WORLD COUNTRIES, frankly I think *ALL* homeless programs should go by the way side in first world countries because these programs primarily enable people. (wick, ssi, ssdi, food stamps, unemployment, etc.) When I say I want the word “homelessness” out of the dictionary I am talking about homelessness in 2nd and 3rd world countries.  I want to create a world where EVERYONE has a home.  (literally.)  BTW, Tiny Homes are AWESOME!     A 2 person family should have a 300-500 square foot living space (minimum) a 4 person family should have a 800-1,000 square foot living space- Every human being needs to be born into a home, this is a basic human right.   But I do believe were created to live life together, so I think we should have community kitchens….and homes maybe.  Speaking of homes, hello?! Why don’t we invest in more log homes, not siding homes!  When we are living in nature, we will feel more connected to our souls.

 

  1. Mental Retardation- This one word has caused millions of babies world wide to be aborted. This one word has perpetuated ignorance, stupidity, and more ignorance. If mental retardation  was taken out of our dictionary, what would we replace it with?  But I’m not politically correct,  so I still like to say, that’s retarded sometimes!   Just Down syndrome.   These beautiful people have a HUGE lesson to teach us all about love.  Putting it simply, I do not even think that we should test for this.  But if a mothers’ womb was tested for this and it came back as positive.  The doctor would tell the patient, ‘You have an Unconditional Love Leader in your womb, you have been richly blessed from the Heavens above.”  You see, each and every person with down syndrome is born with the purpose of being A LEADER OF LOVE.  They are the experts in unconditional love, we are their students.  Also, I believe these down syndrome folks have yet to evolve into their truest potential, they have so many hidden gifts that we have not yet discovered.  We need to create a match for down syndrome folks because they beautiful people have a right to get married and have a family.

 

  1. Insurance: I think this word is a JOKE. I think we should just take this word out of the dictionary.  Yes, in some circumstances insurance is a true blessing.  However, 99% of the time if you just EAT RIGHT, LIFE AN ACTIVE LIFE-STYLE, AND DRIVE RIGHT YOU WOULD NOT NEED INSURANCE. if we do have Insurance, insurance  for everyone needs to cover the basics’ e.g therapy to help you live your best life and medical care.  (But really, medical care is not necessary if you eat right. I think every human being deserves the right to be naturally beautiful, I believe it is a God-given right.  With this being said, I think insurance should cover braces for peoples top teeth, acne medication, because no one should have scars for their whole life, and life therapy.  Because everyone needs a little guidance with helping them LIVE THEIR BEST LIFE.  What do you think?

 

  1. Social Services: Instead of having social services lets invest in preventative parenting coaching.  I think every parent should have the option of having 12 sessions of 1-1 parenting coaching in the home when the kids are in the early years. (kind of like Super-Nanny!) All parents need to learn humility, parents are so egotistical and can not take parenting advice to save their life.  I think we should shy away from residential treatment centers and foster care if at all possible. Keep families together!

 

  1. “Doctor” and “Pre-Natal Care”- Truly, what does your doctor do for you?  I would say 90% of doctors are just a joke.  Why is this?  Doctors put people on medications instead of insisting that their patients stop eating chemicals.  They put them on medications that make them addicted, or the medication gives them cancer or a million other side effects and makes their condition worse, or their doctor puts them on oxygen.   But of course the research doesn’t show that, but common sense does.  Hello?!  Wake up Call!! Research will never be impartial when their is a whole economy that is resting on its survival.  If I was a doctor, I would love love love to be like a biggest loser coach, but I wont make you exercise every day, instead I’ll take you on a hike to a water fall. exercise shmecrersize..  Maybe 10% of doctors are life savers and are amazing! I think the world “doctor” should be a protected word.  Right now there are doctors of every single trade, skin doctor, nose doctor, primary care doctor, emergency room doctor, pet doctor, doctor in education, doctor in EVERYTHING.  I think Your doctor should be able to help you solve any problem in your life.

 

  1. Veterinarian- Honestly, we live in a world where were putting our animals on Prozac and millions of babies are dying of starvation every year. Not right.  Yes, like people, animals may need some shots, but that’s about it inost circumstances.

 

  1. Dermatologist- this word is 75% a joke. Can I tell you a little secret?  Do you want to see a difference in your wrinkles?  Put vitamin e oil on your face every night before you sleep for 3 months, I think you will see a difference after those 3 months.  Also, research facial masks, the best things that we can put on our face to ward off signs of aging are right in our kitchen I believe.  😊  BTW, aging is a sacred part of our life journey, so wear your aging with pride.  There is nothing more beautiful than a women wearing her natural grey hair and her natural skin!  Love it.

 

  1. Lawyer- Frankly I think Janitors should make the salary of Lawyers and Lawyers should make the salary of Janitors.  Why?  Laywers are the only profession by trade IN ALL HUMAN HISTORY that are solely based off of DECEPTION. your lawyer will advise you to record conversations, record texts, record everything.  etc.  Everything a laywer does is based off of deception and secrecy.  The lawyer job is solely based off of only knowing one side of the story, so obviously TRUE JUSTICE NEVER HAPPENS.  LAWYERS MAKE SO MUCH EVIL EVIL MONEY that they can decorate buses, light rails, and stadiums with their logo.  disgusting.  If you look at the emotional safety spectrum on my blog, lawyers normally have almost EVERY SINGLE TRAIT on the unsafe side.  (because they would have to, because emotionally safe people feel guilt and the feeling of guilt would prevent them from pursuing law school.  But people who are money hungry, don’t care about guilt, they just want to make a lot of money.  If you can become a laywer in good conscience, there is something really wrong with your GOD GIVEN conscience.  Then you have lawyers like shmank azar who will offer you a FREE consultation.  really shmank? nothing is FREE in this world 🙂    We need to live in a world where WE CAN DEFEND FOR OURSELVES.  (HMM, I HAVE PROBABLY 25 MORE JOBS I WOULD TAKE OUT AND 50 MORE JOBS THAT I WOULD ADD, BUT THAT’S IRRELEVANT PERHAPS.) Also a judge is another word that I would take out, a judge knows knows nothing about justice and their training is that of a laywer, who specializes in DECEPTION.  Laeyers are the only profession that are trained to manipulate facts and lie.  Wow.  I think instead of a judge, we should have a mediator.  And an excellent therapist would be more qualified to be a good mediator than a judge would be.

 

  1. Lawsuit- 90% of Lawsuits are unethical and the lawsuit amounts are even more unethical. If you feel like you received poor service you would simply ask for a refund, if it was warranted they would give it back to you.  If not, you would need a mediator.  Now, every now and again an ethical lawsuit comes our way, the mcdonalds lady that got burned by coffee is maybe an example of that, however her settlement amount was a little over board.  Cmon, let’s get back to being fair and just.    Schools can NOT EDUCATE OUR CHILDREN LIKE THE NEED TO BECAUSE THEIR AFRAID OF CRAZY AND WACKO PARENTS SUING THEM!  dumb. dumb. dumb.  In terms of education, schools need to have the upper hand and not be afraid that some cre cre parent is going to sue the school.  Our whole world is so fucked (ohh wow, side note, sometimes I looooove swearing up because of evil and the fear of lawsuits.  For example, hospitals as we know it need to cease to exist.  We need a new type of hospital to come out of the woodworks.   Like schools, hospitals are so afraid that there going to get sued that they have adopted all of these OCD POLICIES THAT ARE just unnecessary and a little INSANE.  🙂  fyi, HOSPITALS ARE flat out really OCD!  I already said this, but in the hospital, you should not be needing vitals several times each day, the word vital is a joke, you should not be giving medication to make sure someone has a bowl movement every day.  Some people poop 1-2 each week, no biggee.  In hospitals no one should be able to sue someone else for  a fall if the hospital or company is following certain protocols.  Once again, goodness in our world needs to always trump evil.   No one should be able to sue ANYBODY ELSE FOR A MISTAKE OR ACCIDENT, if the hospital is following protocols geared towards I-CARE; which stands for integrity, compassion, accountability, respect, excellence.  (I like that acronym, it has it at the hospital I’m at now.) However, I will say in our narcissistic world, were really big on words like core values, mission statement, etc.  However, the only measure of care needs to be the staff and clientele satisfaction rate.  Like every business should be evaluated, every hospital stay needs to have a quick evaluation after they leave.  (an evaluation needs to be SIMPLE AND EASY.  LIKE, on a scale of 1-10, what would you rate your experience?  People should not have to write a summary, etc. 
  2. psychiatric evaluation- people are not to be evaluated in 45 minutes, they are to be understood.
  3. Rules- We do not need dumb rules in this world, we need to examine all of our rules and ask ourselves the question; what is the purpose of this rule?  Instead of having dumb rules, we need to have PROTOCOLS with a purpose.  Every rule we have in this world needs to have a purpose.  
  4. Certified Nurses Aid-  There are so many dumb education programs in this world that teach zero, zip, zilch, nada, skills.  There should be no such program as a certified nurses aid, we just need to hire qualified people.  Don’t get me wrong, a lot of cna’s work hard, I just think our education system is broken…  Like baby-sitters are trained on the job, hospital sitters can be trained on the job as well.  We need to examine EVERY SINGLE JOB THAT WE HAVE HAVE CREATED AND TAKE OUT THE DUMB JOBS AND REINVENT NEW JOBS
  5. TELEMARKETING.  yucko
  6. commercials- meh…. ?
  7. nursing home… instead, every neighborhood should have one elder home, where elderly folks can move into.
  8. Dealerships-  dealerships are 100% evil, there prices need to be comparable to craigs list in order to be equitable and fair.
  9. Life Sentence: I do not think that anyone should receive a life sentence in prison. I think we should have a world wide law where if you kill someone, you will be killed. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. This is true justice, and this is the only thing that will decrease our murder rates.  Speaking of, I do not believe that our Justice system and prison system is RESTORATIVE at its core.  I believe every good justice system needs to be restorative at its core.  How does this happen?  Let’s take a look at pedophilia for example. Pedophilia is a wound, not a disorder.  And if someone is a pedophile that most likely means that they were abused by their parent in their child rearing years.   When someone is repeatedly sexually abused by their parent in their child rearing years it permanently changes the brains arousal pattern.  No one is born sexually attracted to children, no one, no one, no one.   However if you have been abused severely (referring to any acts of pedophilia) in your childhood, it can permanently change your brains arousal pattern for life. (unless you receive specialized therapy geared towards healing pedophilia arrousal.)  Because, the pedophile has been abused in their childh0od and because of their abuse they are abusing others,  we can not criminalize pedophilia, because all this does is require people to hide their struggle, we need to be smarter than this. WE NEED TO CREATE A WORLD WHERE PEOPLE CAN BE 100% HONEST ABOUT All OF THEIR HURTS, SECRETS, AND ABUSE and get help.  With pedophilia, what does restorative justice look like?  I’m just brainstorming here, all of the money that we put towards all those enabling government programs such as wick, food stamps, ssdi, ssi, homelessness, etc. we need to put towards a FREE Partners in Healing Pedophilia Program.  Any pedophile who is wanting to get help can enroll in this program and receive free therapy and services for life.  What does therapy look like?  Therapy would consist of a five pronged approach, healing can not happen unless all 5 parts are practiced; 6 month separation, accountability, weekly therapy, watching healthy porn 3-5x each week, and required date nights 1-2 nights each week for the first year.  Let me explain this in a little more detail; First off, 6 month seperation.  In order for the father or mother to have a restored relationship with their children that is modeled after honesty, transparency, and a normal parent child relationship, there needs to be a 6 month separation in place from the pedophile and his or her children.  During this time, the person can pick a place anywhere in the country that they would like to receive their therapy and they would be able to get “a job voucher pass” where they will be able to easily find work in the state that they choose to do their intensive 6 month therapy.  (If they wanted to stay in the current state, that would be okay too.) In this 6 month therapy, they will receive weekly therapy from a healing pedophilia expert/therapist.  (who was a pedophile AND now is not.) During the first year of the program they would be required to go on date 1x a week (free membership to 2 dating services), watch and masterbate to classy porn 5x a week, and see their therapist once a week.  After they completed the 6 month stint and wanted to reintegrate to regular life back home, they would be able to move back home and start the re-integration process.  With this reintegration process, the “partners in healing pedophilia program” would put up hidden camera’s in the persons house.  These camera’s would only be geared towards preventing pedophilia.  Of course they are freely able to parent as they wish, snuggles while watching movies, hugs, and discipline are 100% a normal part of parenting and we would never look at these acts with jaded glasses.  We are solely monitoring for acts of incest.  If an act of incest happens, the children are taken out of the house for a minimum of 3-6 months.  This number is hard to decide, I would ideally like to say one year, but that may just create a system where all pedophiles stay in the closet and then we are NOT preventing any abuse from happening.  The children and parent both know in advance that this will happen if an act of incest occurs. (Transparency.) The person would receive weekly therapy from a therapist in their home town who specializes with healing pedophilia (meaning they were a pedophile and are now healed of their pedophilia) because of course no other therapist KNOWS HOW THE PEDOPHILIA MIND WORKS EXCEPT FOR A PREVIOUS PEDOPHILE.  The pedophile’s use of the internet would be monitored as well to ensure the pedophile was not going on certain web sites which would re-create more pedophiliac arousal.  The pedophile would receive one classy porn video consisting of 5 minutes of porn 3-5X each week and the pedophile would be required to masturbate to the porn. (remember how I said that 90% of porn is 100% grose, well this is what I meant by that partially.)  Believe it or not, if we are going to be able to HEAL pedophilia, we need to create porn that is simply a-m-a-z-i-n-g- to watch, tastefully done, and is not crude, crass, gross, etc.  We need to create porn that demonstrates passionate eroticism.  If we created porn like this, we could re-train the pedophilia brain to become aroused to porn.   (if they become addicted to porn, no biggee, we can heal their porn addiction 2nd, but lets get them addicted to healthy porn first to help them heal from their pedophilia)  Reason # 1001 why all therapy is marginal at BEST, if we were really doing therapy RIGHT, we would be having pedophiles coming out of the woodwork and wanting to get help and healing.  🙂  Why do I say that?  Because, in this whole world, there has not been one pedophile who has came out of the closet and said, I need help.  How sad of a world we live in, people can not be honest about their struggles, they just have to hide their struggles and all the awhile we are having millions of children getting ABUSED……the system is broken, the system is not working.. who will be the whistle blower and say enough is enough? There has to be a better way.  🙂 I would like to open a program like this at my counseling practice.  Speaking of this, why do NO CHILDREN COME OUT AND SAY THAT INCEST IS GOING ON?  ZIP. ZILCH, NADA.  That answer takes me to my next word choice.
  10. I.Q- This word is 100% inaccurate.  Frankly, whoever believes that this system of measuring intelligence is an accurate level of measuring intelligence has a very LOW IQ.  I really like Gardeners Levels of intelligence, this scale is much more open-minded and versatile to the wide scope of true intelligence.
  11. schizophrenia- I do not believe that drugs is the best way to treat schizophrenia, FRANKLY sometimes IT IS THE WORST WAY TO TREAT SCHIZOPHRENIA.  drugs just enable people and allow people to become the worst version of themselves.  With our beautiful schizophrenia folks, WE NEED TO TEACH THEM HOW TO MANAGE THEIR VOICES.  The movie Beautiful Mind needs to be OUR GUIDE AND OUR TEACHER  in how we work with people who are diagnosed with schizophrenia. These people NEED NEED NEED NEED to patricipate in REALITY BASED THERAPY and if we are a therapist working with a hearing voices client we need to be 100% challenging them until they are convinced for themselves and can determine for themselves what is real and what is a voice in their head.  Instead of using the word; schizophrenia, we neeed to say that you have been diagnosed with hearing voices, and you consequently may hear a lot of voices in your head that are NOT TRUE AND ARE NOT BASED OFF OF WHAT REALITY IS.  This will help the person heal if they hear cognitively can connect to the word; they have hearing voices vs. schizophrenia.   also, these beautiful people need companion,   people with schizophrenia and really any one for that matter, should have the option of having a companion that lives with them, there needs to be A EASY WAY WHERE ANYONE could find someone to live with.  🙂

 

  1. Genetics- Yes, I know we have genes and DNA. However, I do not believe that alcoholism and depression runs in families genetically speaking.  Yes, alcoholism can run in families because there are emotional habits that are passed down from one generation to another.  For example, if your mother never learned to express emotions such as insecurity, inadequacy, fear, and loneliness and she uses alcohol to numb these emotions, then of course you will probably learn this same emotion avoiding/numbing habit and your children will learn that habit from you as well.  Don’t even begin to tell me that genetic studies have proven otherwise, do you know the billions of dollars that go into genetic testing and you don’t think there is financial bias in the outcome and results?  Of course, there is, of course.  Same with a lot of scientists…

 

  1. Masculinity/Feminity- I love the words, masculine and feminine, I see them like the ying and the yang, a beautiful system of balance. However, the words masculinity and feminity are just cultural conditional traditional words that have kept us from becoming the fullest evolved version of our gender.  You see, in order for anyone to truly understand gender, sexual orientation, and sexual confusion you must first  know the original design for gender when Yahweh created gender in the first place.   There has been so much damage done with traditional gender roles. There is so much sexual confusion in this world and with that being said many people are very confused about their sexuality.  Now hear me loud and clear, I believe God made some people GAY and some people STRAIGHT and I WANT YOU TO BE WHO GOD HAS CREATED YOU TO BE.  😊Even still, I think there are millions of people who think their gay and their not and there are millions of people who think their straight and their not.  I have counseled a plethora of gay folks through out my years and I would never question their orientation because they would perceive that I am judging them.  However we need to live in a world where I can question you about anything as your therapist and that does not mean I am necessarily judging you.  There is a difference in-between; insight, intuition, accurately judging someone, e.g. “calling a spaid, a spaid” and misjudging someone.  So, we need some clarity around those types of judgement.  So, why does all of this sexual confusion happen in our world regarding orientation?  Let me give you my take on it, I reserve the right to be wrong of course.  I am a lot.  With Men, I believe the primary reason why there is so much sexual confusion is because…….

MEN

ARE

DESIGNED

TO

BE

BEAUTIFUL TOO.

YAHWEH HAS CREATED BOTH MEN AND WOMEN TO BE B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L.  FOR ALL HUMAN HISTORY, THE WORD, “BEAUTIFUL” HAS ONLY BEEN ASSOCIATED WITH WOMEN.  THIS ONE FACTOR HAS CAUSED MILLIONS OF PEOPLE TO QUESTION THEIR SEXUAL ORIENTATION.  TRANSGENDER FOLKS HAVE A LOT TO TEACH US, THEY WANT TO BE BEAUTIFUL… SO SOME OF THEM DRESS LIKE A WOMAN TO BE BEAUTIFUL.  HOWEVER, I AM HEAR TO TELL YOU THAT MEN ARE DESIGNED TO BE B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L as well.    IF PEOPLE WANT TO SEE A COMPLETE RESTORATION OF THE MALE AND FEMALE GENDER IT IS CRITICAL THAT BOTH MALES AND FEMALES PRIOTIZE BEING NATURALLY BEAUTIFUL EQUALLY.  WHAT WOULD THIS LOOK LIKE HYPOTHETICALLY SPEAKING?  HERE ARE SOME IDEAS ON RESTORATION WITH GENDER.  WHAT ARE YOUR IDEAS?

MALE RIGHTS OF PASSAGE AND BEAUTY RITUALS TO RESTORE THE MASCULINE GENDER: ALL OF THESE ARE ACTIVITIES THAT COULD BE DONE AT SET AGES TOGETHER WITH A GROUP OF MALES. THESE RITUALS ARE DESIGNED TO BE DONE IN COMMUNITY NOT BY YOURSELVES.

  1. AS A RIGHT OF PASSAGE boys have short hair up, until A BOY IS 16, then HE IS EXPECTED TO GROW HIS HAIR OUT TO the middle of his back.  ALL BOYS WHO ARE 16 WILL PARTICIPATE IN THIS RIGHT OF PASSAGE.  PUTTING IT BLUNTLY, HAIR IS BEAUTFUL, IF ALL MEN cHOSE TO GROW THEIR HAIR/facial hair OUT LONG, MEN WOULD BE WAAAAAAAY MORE BEAUTIFUL. Of course, after this right of passage ended around 18, boys could choose to keep it long or cut it short.
  2. ALL MEN SHAVE THEIR BACK HAIR. (IF THEY HAVE A LOT)
  3. GET EYE BROW WAXES, NO UNI BROWS.
  4. MEN SHOULD LIFT WEIGHTS TOGETHER, THIS IS GOOD MALE BONDING THAT MEN NEED. YOU SEE, MEN UNLIKE WOMEN LOOK VERY ATTRACTIVE WITH SOME MUSCLE.  MEN LOOK MORE ATTRACTIVE WITH MUSCLES, WOMEN LOOK LESS ATTRACTICE WITH MUSCLES.  WHY DO YOU THINK THIS IS?  SILLY YAHWEH DESIGNED IT THIS WAY.  Men are designed to be beautiful. Men are designed to be so beautiful that when their woman crosses paths with them, she would have a hard time talking to him because she would be in awe with his natural beauty.
  5. GET PIERCINGS! PIERCINGS SHOULD BE JUST AS NORMAL FOR MEN AS FOR WOMEN.
  6. GET FASHION CLASS! MEN, YOU ARE DESIGNED TO BE FASHIONABLE. YOU ARE DESIGNED TO CARE ABOUT YOUR APPEARANCE.  THERE SHOULD BE FASHION CLASS TAUGHT IN HIGH SCHOOL WHERE BOYS AND MEN CAN PICK OUT DIFFERENT STYLES TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THEIR PERSONAL FASHION STYLE IS.
  7. Grooming/facial hair shaving class. I think all high school boys should also take a grooming/faciar hair shaving class where they learn ALL THE MANY WAYS THAT THEY CAN WEAR THEIR FACIAL HAIR and they have to try each facial hair arrangement for a few months.  Men get stuck with the their same old style and they need to be pushed to try different things.

Also, many men think they might be gay because they have desires for anal sex.  Just because you have desires for anal sex, DOES NOT mean you are gay.  Heterosexual men will have natural desires for all types of sex with their woman, these desires are God-given I believe.

How can we restore women in terms of gender identity?  Well, I think girls as well should have hair below their shoulders until their 15. Then they also have a right of passage where they grow their hair out to the bottom of their back when their 16.  I also think that girls should all shave their head at some point too!  Lol…. just for the experience.  🙂  I think girls should take a hair styles class in highschool where they learn all about braids, easy up-do’s, etc so they can style their own hair however they want to style it.  Women also need to grow out their eye brows and stop wearing fake eye lashes. Eye lash curlers are pretty amazing!  What are other ways that are sexual orientation can get confused?  Sometimes, If we grew up with a tom boy mom than we may be predisposed to being a tom boy as an teenager/adult.  So therefore, we may also end up being a tom boy and hence we may not get a lot of attention from guys.  Therefore, we may start to like girls and not guys because girls actually notice us, where the guys don’t.  Disclaimer, I believe Yahweh has called some girls to be more feminine and some girls to be Tom boys. :Additionally, very traditional parenting styles can cause woundedness in sexual orientation as an adult as well.   Many teenagers who are overweight and not attractive (meaning never had an opportuntiy to look attractive.)  may also try being gay or lesbian because they think their chances of finding love will go way up if there attracted to the same sex vs. the opposite sex.

putting it bluntly, if a women is questioning her sexuality, before a woman should choose if she is a lesbian or if God made her a lesbian, I think she needs to experience what it is like to be BEAUTIFUL AND WHAT IS IT LIKE TO EXPERIENCE A MANS LUST.  If she has experienced these two things and still decides that she is a lesbian than Yahweh made you a lesbian and embrace that and celebrate that.  Woot woot 🙂

Many women are actually married to gay men and the way that you can tell if you are married to a gay man is to ask the question ; does he LUST for me? Heterosexual men will LUST AFTER THEIR WOMAN AND THIS LUST  IS DISTINCTIVE. When gay men are married to a woman, they may have a regular sex life with their wife, but they will not LUST after her.

Transgender – I think if you are transgender,   90% of the time you grew up with a mom or dad who did not accept you for who you really are.  Boys need to be able to play dress up,  play with dolls,  do their nails,  do their hair,  just as much as girls,  many boys become transgender because they think that to be beautiful,  you have to be a women. This is gender abuse.   and if you have been born a male in our broken world,  you have lost your god given right to be beautiful.  We need to give men back this RIGHT, it should have never been taken from them.

 

speaking of rights of passage,  dances should NOT just be about highschool.  Adults need 3 dances every year.    🙂

 

  1. Savior: When I think of this word I think of Jesus Christ.  I believe that Christians idol worship Jesus Christ and I believe this is dishonoring to Yahweh.  Don’t get me wrong, I know that Jesus was the coming Messiah that was phrophesied about in the Old Testament and I like Jesus. However, I guess I don’t  believe in the trinity and I do not believe that someone needs to have a certain belief system about Jesus to receive the gift of eternal life.  My favorite scripture in the new testament is Galations 3:28 which states, “In Christ, there is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is not male or female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”  What this scripture means is that Jesus came to dissolve gender discrimination, religious discrimination and he ultimately came to set us free from all bondage. What does the Lord require of us, Micah 6:8 say “To seek Justice and Love Mercy.”  Yahweh has very clear expectations in terms of right and wrong, however I do not believe that the bible portrays this very well.  I think Yahweh could care less what religion we are, Yahweh wants a relationship with us, not a religion.  Also, we need to get rid of the word SAVED.  If you believe that God is Good because he/she will save you because of a declaration of a statement of faith, you don’t really know YAHWEH AT ALL like you think you do.  Yahweh would never send someone to HELL for all eternity for a stupid belief.  REALLY?!?!   If he did, I would never want to be with him in Heaven anyway.  oofta.
  2. Police officers- police officers spend so much time giving tickets out that they are so preoccupied and have no time to seek out true justice. (in my own humble and maybe wrong opinion.)  I think our police officers should be called justice officers.  There job is to make sure Justice happens in our communities at all costs.
  3. Affair: This word casualizes infidelity. Infidelity is NOT okay in any way, shape, or form.  However, women do need to understand how a man is WIRED biologically regarding sexuality.  A women who looooves her man will ensure that he is receiving regular sexual expression, if he is treating her right. IT TAKES TWO.   If a woman does not do this, you are contributing to setting your man up for failure in the infidelity department.
  4. Speaking of,  because men are wired in this way,  I don’t think it’s best to have men be obgyn’s.  Also,  I think c-sections are the way to go in modern times.
  5. Porn- I hate 90% porn, it destroys marriages. If I had it my way, I would take all porn off of the internet and people could only buy porn at a  video shop and if you are married than your partner would be able to check the video shop and see if you were watching it unbeknownst to her.   Also, I think 90% of porn is just 100% grose.  Why don’t we throw away all that horrible porn and create tasteful movies that have some amazing sex scenes in them.  I think these movies would be really fun to watch with your beloved sometimes.  But I think couples should only watch these like once a month because it could become addicting.  However there should be checks & balances in place where someone is not allowed to check out movies beyond a limit.  (I also think there should be checks and balances in place with alcohol and drugs.)
  6. Padding- Women your bodies are perfect the way God made them. Let’s have a padding burning party where we take all the padding out of our bra’s.
  7. Erectile dysfunction- this word is 75% ridiculous. Men, God did not create your penis to be fully erect during sex ALL THE TIME. The 25% of truth with this word is that sex is psychological and so when men have anxiety regarding their sexual experience they may have erectile issues as well that can be treated.
  8. Gun- I hate the word gun, frankly I hate all violence. But, I don’t mind guns as much that are designed to just injure, not kill.  (except for hunting.) I was watching the Little House on the Prairie TV series, (one of my all-time favorite shows!) and in one of the episodes there was an Indian who was shot by a gun and I was amazed and in shock when I saw that he was just mildly injured from the gun shot wound. I came away from that show thinking to myself, “I wish every gun was made to just injure, not kill.
  9. Cage- I do not believe animals are designed to be in cages. Also, I believe that all animals need people and people need animals. We are created to need each other and to be with each other, not separate from each other.  Yesterday I was on a walk and I noticed this bunny along side me.  I thought to myself, poor little bunny, YOU ARE SO LONELY, you are designed purposefully with the intention of a human petting you and giving you love.  I wish I could take you home and keep you as my pet.  ☹  I think a lot of the wild animals are really  lonely because they have know one to pet them.
  10. Segregation: I hate this word as well, we are created to be diverse in every way.  We need to be around all of the races…and I love hearing different accents!   When I go to the local rec center in town and play basketball there are people there from every nationality almost and I love hearing all of the accents.  I always leave there thinking to myself, I breathe easier when I am around all the beautiful races.  😊 That is one of the reasons why I love Aurora so much. I think every city needs to be diverse and we need to have laws in place that ensure diversity happens all over.
  11. Dumb rules: There are so many dumb rules in this world its just crazy!  For example, just the other day I went to the rec center with my kiddos and if you want to get a clue for what I am talking about visit your local pool, there’s dumb rules all abounding at rec centers. (my 5 year old son is not allowed to go into the womens dressing room, no you can not bring the floater into that pool, you can’t stand on that rock, you have to close down the pool for a stupid terd, yet we never close down our lakes when that happens.)  But, why do we have all these stupid rules?  Because of lawsuits, dumb, dumb, dumb.)  Also, dui’s limits are a little over board, 07%?  Really?!  Great, I can never drive after having just one drink.
  12. vitals- Hospitals are so over board with always checking peoples vitals 24/7! ohhh boy… hospitals need to be about providing high quality care at very reasonable rates.  Hospitals need to prioritize care over finances.  Speaking of, there should not be competition for prices. we need to mainstream prices for all care  There should not be competition for prices for most things, there needs to be an’ agreement in place that the certain products cost certain thiings.  Probation- I don’t think this service really helps people change in a meaningful.way.  Instead of the courts mandating services, I think that therapy should be mandated where everyone goes to their therapist 2x a year minimum.
  13. UA- I don’t think this service really helps people change in a meaningful way when it is connected with probation. I think therapists would be better  at monitoring and requesting this.
  14. Stop, Drop, & Roll- This is probably the worst advice that I have ever heard regarding getting free from a fire.  Frankly, I think the fire department is a little over rated too!  A fire will only get worse if I take 3 minutes to call the fire station to come, and it seems like 9 times out of 10 every time the fire fighter is called its for a burnt pan or candle.
  15. Vacant Seat- We should create a world where prices are always affordable so there should be no vacant seat at all business and recreational ventures. What do I mean by this?  No vacant seats at plays, movies, concerts, pools, ski mountains, sports functions, water parks, theatres, etc, etc, etc.  Speaking of, where are all the drive in movie theatres?!  I miss drive in movie theatres!
  16. Professional Sports- I hate professional sports, how can you enjoy professional sports knowing that there are millions of starving children in this world who are dying every day and you are feeding this DISGUSTING industry. Teachers are the one that teach the professional athletes and teachers get paid 40,000 and professional athletes get paid these disgusting amounts of money. Sick. Sick. Sick. Sick. Sick. Sick. If you are a professional athlete you are choosing to play this sport because of your love for the game, period.  Professional athletes should not get paid more than 4ok per year.  Professional sports creates Pathological Narcissism, not always, but these two are highly correlated.
  17. Chemicals- we need 90% chemicals out of our products and this includes food coloring for that matter. (colors are for crayons, markers, etc. speaking of, colored pencils are a joke, crayons are not designed to have all that paper on them as well.)  man ohh man, another random rant by Kelly. Maybe a little chemicals in our fast foods are okay though, every bodys’ gotta love McDonald’s chicken nuggets once in a while and Cheerios for example just has one chemical in it, how bad can that be?!  who knows.
  18. Plastic
  19. Court Orderered Anger Management- this word is a joke, if you struggle with anger management you probably struggle with abusing others and you need to learn to stop abusing others.  Or, you are having an an anger problem because someone is abusing you.  SO MANY PEOPLE ARE COVERT EMOTIONAL ABUSERS AND DO NOT KNOW IT! Every emotion is sacred and important, sadness is not bad, anger is not bad, just like happiness is not bad.  Do not tell your children that, “its bad to be sad.” Or “I’m sorry you feel sad.” Or “don’t cry, I don’t want to see you cry.”  We need to cry, we need to be sad, we need to be happy, we need to feel insecure, we need to feel angry, we need to feel inadequate, we need to feel successful.  Every emotion that we feel, we need to feel for a reason.  There is not one emotion that is inerrantly bad.  Speaking of, inerrant would be another word choice to take out of the dictionary.
  20. Innerant: The bible is not innerant, I believe parts of the bible were inspired when it was written, but it was still full of errors. Since the bible has been written there has been  thousands of writings that have been inspired.  So, open your eyes to the inspiration that is all around you.
  21. light bulb- frankly, LET’S JUST DO SOLAR!!!  WINDOWS ARE THE BEST LIGHTING EVER!  BUT LED LIGHTS ARE NICE IF WE HAVE TO USE THEM.
  22. watch- meh… businesses need to all have clocks, wearing a watch kind of seems to create more anxiety.
  23. Waste/Trash.  We need to live in a world where Reduce, Reuse, Recycle is our way of life for everything. 🙂  I do not RRR because it is not a way of life.  For example, we can each use the same 2 feet of tooth floss string for a month, you don’t need to take a new piece of floss out every day.  disclaimer- I know this sounds 100% nuts!   Also, we waste SO MUCH FOOD CONVINVING OURSELVES THAT ITS GONE BAD OR ITS SPOILED!  When food starts to grow mold on it, the part of the food with the mold on it is the ONLY PART THAT IS BAD, EVERYTHING ELSE SURROUNDING IT STILL TASTES GOOD, JUST TRY IT, YOU’LL SEE.
  24. Fame/Famous-  These words are creators of Narcissism often times, not always.  I think singers, bands, actors, actresses, sports figures should not have to forsake their privacy to have their career.  Privacy is a human right that every single huan being should have.   There should be a law in place where we protect the privac of everyone.Church-  I don’t like this word, I think of church and I get a bad taste in my mouth  instead of going to church we should call it, “community.”  At communit we may sing, dance, sit in silence, talk, eat, drink, and be merry. Sundays sould be a day about COMMUNITY.  🙂
  25. Military- I do not beleive in war on a fundamental level, war is not how you get people to change. So obviously if I do not beleive in war, I also do not beleive in 90% of military. I think a large percentage of men who go into the military do so to try and heal their Father/Mother Family or Origin Wounds.   The typical army kid is a kid who may be looking for an identity, he feels lost, worthless, and lacks purpose and meaning in life, and so he joins the military TO GIVE HIM AN IDENTITY  & purpose.  We need to HEAL our family of origin wounds through therapy and not just enlist our sons and daughters in the military.
  26. war- Therapy heals people, war does not.  War is about ego.
  27. Veterans day/memorial day- why do we have holidays that glorify war, violence, and killing? I know I know, my freedom… I am thankful for my freedom..  so thank you for giving me that.  meh…maybe there is a better way though than killing.  But I am ignorant regarding reasons for war. Speaking of holidays,  I think we should trash most of our holidays and make new ones.  Every culture needs a holiday.  For example,  Cinco De Mayo is Latin America day,  etc.
  28. Holiday- let’s nix out holidays now and make up new holidays that focus on honoring different cultures.
  29. Warrior
  30. Retirement- I don’t think retirement is all its cracked up to be.  I think we will all function best if we work at least part time up in our elder years if we can.  Now, this may look dramatically different as you get older.  For example, in your 70’s you may only work 15 hours each week.   I think when we retire, we automatically start deteriorating psychologically and physically.
  31. Overtime- I don’t think anyone should work more than 45 hours per week AND I THINK WE ALL NEED TO BE HOME BY 6.  6-10 FAMILY TIME/FUN TIME/SOCIAL TIME!   🙂
  32. Submission- I do not like this word, in the Evangelical sense.  However, I like the idea of healthy submission.  There was something that was so amazingly beautiful and attractive about the arrangement that was made between Anastasia and Christian Grey in 50 shades of Grey.  If my Man earned the right, I would love to submit to him if he has my best interest at heart.   In a healthy relationship, there is a beautiful give and a take.  Meaning, If you are skilled in some areas, submit to your partner in those areas because they know more than you do and vice versa.  This idea of submission in the Evangelical sense creates spiritual narcissism for the husbands aka “the leaders of the home.” yuck….  I know so many women who are way better leaders of their home because of their CHARACTER but they think there husband needs to be the” leader of the household” because of their gender, this causes abuse, narcisism, etc.
  33. Therapist/Counselor- I hate these words because they mean nothing and there is NO ACCOUNTABILITY WITH THIS WORD.  A good therapist should have the title of “Healer of Pain” because that’s what they do. Also, I believe a lot of therapists are actually covert narcissists and if we are actually going to start helping our clients, we need to be aware of our own Narcissism and our own blind spots.  Frankly, if I AM YOUR THERAPIST AND I AM NOT healing your pain, please stop seeing me immediately because I am NOT doing my job.  Also, a therapist should not be about “someone you go see when you have problems”  A therapist NEEDS
  34. NEEDS
  35. NEEDS
  36. NEEDS
  37. NEEDS A NEW DEFINITION.   A therapist/healer of Pain should be someone that you are required to go to 2x a year and this person helps you live your best life and there able to help you solve any life problem you have.
  38. Pastor- a lot of pastors are what I would call “covert spiritual narcissists”.  They think that they have a special insight into God’s word and that they have direct revelation from God.  THIS IS JUST SPIRITUAL NARCISSISM, THIS IS NOT DIRECT REVELATION FROM GOD.  I do not think that we need to have pastors at all frankly, at least not how we see pastors today.  I do like the word RABBI, The # 1 trait to be a good pastor is vulnerability, Jesus was not even a pastor, he was a carpenter. A good rabbi in a church would need TRUE ACCOUNTABILITY with her/his time. A good Rabbi would have people over him or her to HOLD THE RABBI ACCOUNTABLE, MEANING REAL ACCOUNTABILITY.  I think a good rabbi would be able to preach on sunday, lead worship, and fasciliate the chidlrens ministries through volunteers.  This would probably take 20 hours per week, so she/he could have a part time job out of the church as well.
  39. worship pastor- you do  not pick a pastor for his musical talent, his character is the only qualification he needs if he is wanting to learn worship music.
  40. Spiritual leader/spiritual growth- these are narcissistic words that create spiritual Narcissism often in evangelical circles.  spiritual growth is directly linked to growing in humility, hard work, and honesty.
  41.  Cover up- zits are meant to be shown, no biggee, the more you cover up, the more shame you will have.
  42. Formula- our babies do not need to be drinking formula if there are other options.  All the money we are spending on formula we could be using towards creating lactose consultant jobs where there primary job is to provide 1-1 support to nursing moms.  Meh… has given our bodies the ability to create amazing milk for our young, and, even better, mom’s you burn 500+ calories each day with nursing.  It is the best form of exercise you will ever try!
  43. Maternity Leave-  This word needs to be taken out of the dictionary and parenting leave needs to get put into the dictionary.  Meaning,  dad also need to be allowed to take off work for 1 months if they choose and spend time with their family.
  44. Salades- I think these meals are just 100% over rated.  I think if you eat a lot of salades you are bound to binge more because your body is not getting the “fill” it needs.  🙂  I’m just being goofy, I don’t think it needs to be taken out of the stupid dictionary!
  45. Autism Spectrum Disorder- Plain and simple, this is just a phrase that has caused millions of children to not reach their highest potential.  Most children with autism have incredible gifts that have not been discovered yet and also may or may not struggle with social anxiety or social aversion.  With Social skills training, these two things can be elimated.  I think all of our children should participate in social skills training in their child rearing years.  What does this look like?  For my daughter who is 9, I am going to have her start calling friends and just practice talking to them on the phone, e,g. asking questions, etc.  I do believe Autism is a condition, I do not believe it is a disorder. and I think we need to come up with a new name because the word autism puts people in a box.
  46. Arranged Marriage-  This word, arranged marriage keeps people in bondage and takes away their human  right to choose their partner.  I also don’t like the word   ” marriage” in and of itself as well because it keeps us stuck from evolving and growing.  In our modern age, marriage basically means that no matter how you treat me, I have to stay in this marriage because were in a marriage.  Instead of the word solely marriage I would propose that we use the word “marriage Covenant”.  A marriage coventant is a covenant and if you choose to break the covenant, you are no longer in a Covenant Marriage.  What would a covenant marriage look like?  Each marriage covenant is made up of each couples personal vows to each other.  These vows should hold each person accountable for the marriage in a beautiful way.  Some examples of vows may be;

I will commit to being faithful to you emotionally, physically, and sexually.  (yes, emotional affairs can be just as damaging as physical affairs. )

I will flirt with you, pursue you, and set up dates with you bimonthly for ALL OF OUR YEARS.  Disclaimer, dates just mean intentional time together doing fun things, there is no need to spend any money on dates or even to go somewhere.

I will be honest with you always.

I will commit to keeping myself naturally beautiful and healthy.  (I have a 10 pound grace period with my weight where I can go up and down, however I will commit to staying in that 10 pound grace period.)  You also would never never never give your partner heat for going up and down within that 10 pound grace window.  (that is called abuse.) Disclaimer- a 10 pound grace period for a 100 pound person would be the equivalent of a 20 pound grace period for a 200 pound person.  The weight starts at the weight you were when you got married.  This ensures that people honor their body and honor their spouse’s body.

we will be open with one another regarding all personal information, bank information, e.g. passwords, email accounts, etc. etc.  There is no need to have privacy in a marriage if you are not hiding anything.  People that demand privacy are normally just hiding something.

We will inform one another regarding all spending’s and ask permission for bigger spendings.

We will be monogamous, expectially for the first 10 years.   (if either of us are are having desires of not wanting to be monogamous, we will be 100% honest with each other regarding these feelings.)  While, I am not a believer in an open marriage, I do think a healthy monogamous marriage could maybe evolve into something different.   When a couple is married for 75 years, the marriage I believe is designed to evolve and grow in more ways than one.  Some couples will only be interested in a monogamous marriage, other couples may evolve differently and want to add a couple to their marriage covenant   For example, I think marriage could be defined as a one couple marriage, 2 couple marriages, 3 couple marriages, and 4 couple marriages.  ?  For example, for your first 15 years of marriage, you may want just a monogamous marriage, for your second 10 years of marriage, you may ask another couple to join your marriage where you would have a 2 couple marriage.  10 years later, you may want to add a 3rd couple to your marriage, etc.  Every couple is different and what is right for one couple, will not be right for all couples.  However, I do believe that love is designed to grow and we are all able to love more than one person.  If a monogamous couple did choose to invite another couple into their marriage, I actually think the dual marriage would possibly strengthen the first marriage and create greater levels of passion and happiness.  Why?  Often times marriages get boring and god is not about a boring marriage.  When you invite another couple into your marriage, you are opening up for feelings of jealousy, which creates more passion.  Jealousy is actually a beautiful feeling that can save marriages.

We will keep ourselves free from addictions.  If we do become addicted to a substance and we are struggling with an addiction, we will quickly get treatment to cure our addiction.

we will both contribute to the household by both working (part time or full time) and providing for the family.

If either party does not hold up to their end of the bargain with the covenant, than they need to work together to try and heal the relationship by participating in counseling and mediation.  if there is still no resolve, then at that time, the other party is inclined or allowed to leave the covenant because the other partner broke the covenant and has no plans on healing the broken covenant.

Sugar: What would our sweets and desserts taste like if we mixed sugar and stevia in them in equal proportions?  What if our definition of “sugar” was actually half sugar and half stevia?  Additiinally, I think we all eat waaaaaaay to much sugar.  We put sugar in everything!  I think we should treat sugar in our grocery store as a once a week food.  On Saturdays, the grocery stores have sweets available for everyone in one serving size bags.

juice- eat your fruit, don’t drink it.

 

63. Non-GMO- This word is 100% NON-SENSE, we just need to have REAL FOODS AND WHOLE FOODS ONLY IN OUR GROCERY STORES.

 

6,500 spoken languages in the world today.-

There

are

6,500

spoken

kangauges

in

the

world

today.

I think in the old testament times in the town of babel god gave the people all different languages as a curse to cause disconnection and confusion.  Wild Hair IDEA here!  it would be great to create a world where we could all understand each other.  Additionally, I believe learning a language really helps promote brain development; A TON. A TON. A TON.  I think in our education system we should all be teaching english and spanish, and maybe Chinese too.  🙂  Oh my gosh, that probably sounds like I am playing favorites!  Silly, the only reason why I say that is because geographically where I live, the two most prominent languages are Spanish and English.  people should become bilingual with the two languages that they live the closest to geographically speaking.

fast food- (as we know it.) while I love fast food, our fast foods need to be serving a lot of vegetables as well.  For example, I should be able to go to burger kind and get a bowl full cut up tomatoes and a junior whopper with cheese, pretty basic.

Bring back phone books.

Night Lights-  I think at night time in all of our cities, all of the lights need to be turned off.  Night is Night, Day is Day.  I think this messes with peoples sleep cycles and causes insomnia waaaaay more than people realize.

65. Tenured:  I do not think that any professsion should be able to get tenured.  This word needs to go by the way side I think.  🙂  Your work performance and your work ethic should be the 2 factors that keep you employed.

66. “Eat 3 meals a day.”  This phrase is probably the # 1 phrase that has caused obesity world wide.  The reality is that we need to eat when we are hungry. Do not try to control your appetite, just simply eat when you are hungry.  This may mean you eat 5 times a day, it may mean you eat 2 times a day.  There should be no rules around food times, just eat when you are hungry.  🙂  Also, you should never feel required to eat food or feel like its not polite to say no thank you.  Giving food in some countries is a sign of hospitality, however people need not be offended when someone says no.  Additionally, there should not be any food rules at all.  People can eat oatmeal for dinner, eggs for dinner, hamburger for breakfast, etc.

68. Weight Scale- We should throw all of our scales away, scales create shame.  The only scale you should ever need is how your clothes fit.

69. “How are You?” in Customer Service Fields- People ask this word all the time and it is often fake.  Unless you can sit down with someone for 10 minutes and really listen to their answer, try to break the habit of always asking this question.  I am preaching to the Choir here on this one, because I use this word a lot out of habit and it bothers me each time that I do.  For example, when we are working in customer service jobs of all sorts, restaurants, fast foods, rec centers, businesses, etc, we should never greet someone by saying; “how are you?”  This forces people to lie and not be honest, instead just say; “Hello!   How may I help you?

70. ACT/SAT/standardized testing- I do not believe that these tests are good tests to test intelligence in high school students, I think these tests should go by the wayside.  🙁

 

71. Good and good Job!!!- This phrase can create some narcisissim in our children if we are using it all the time.  Why?  Because if we are always telling them; “good job with this!”, “good job with that!”, “you did good!”, “you are really good at this!”, “wow, good for you!”   this can create some entitlement and narcissism in our children.  Our kids need to hear us saying, “well, you are lousy at basketball now, but no biggee, we are all lousy when we first start out.”  ALL OF OUR KIDS NEED TO HEAR THIS SOMETIMES. Also, if we took good out of the dictionary, we would have to use a different word when people asked how are you? Great, when we all say good and we are lying we are all turning ourselves into sociopaths and not even knowing it because we are continually being emotionally dishonest.

72. Family Comes First- We should not be obligated to spend time with family as an adult.  You either do things because you have to do things OR you want to do things.  But you should not be obligated to spend time with family.  For example, I have to go to work to provide for my family, so I will go to work.  (But I do like to go to work A LOT!)  I want to get married again, because I love the idea and principle of a “Covenant Marriage.”  These are examples of suitable wants and needs.  However, people feel obligated to keep in touch with their biological family because; “family comes first!”

Please know, you are not obligated in any way, shape, or form to keep in touch with your biological family as an adult.  You are free to do as you choose as an adult and you are free to choose who your family is.  If you do not like your biological family, you are not obligated to spend time with them or to see them on a regular basis.  The truth of the matter is, many people have grown up in homes where there was abuse (emotional abuse, covert emotional abuse, verbal abuse, physical abuse, narcissistic abuse, incest, violence, etc.) and if you consistently do not enjoy spending time with your family, that is a tell tale sign that there was some sort of hurt in your childhood and in that case it is BEST for you to not spend time with these people as an adult.  If this is true for you, do not believe the lie that you are giving up on your family, because you are not.  If you choose to give them a reason, that is your choice, but it is not needed nor necessary.  If you want to break contact with your family, because your family calls you out on your shit and you do not want to be called out, that is a entirely different situation.  In that case, your family is the BEST THING FOR YOU.

73. preschool/kindergarten-In our education system I think we should  have “playschool” where we have community wide organized play dates where parents can meet other parents at gyms and the kiddos can play together.  But the parents would have to sign in and commit to bringing their children 4 times per week(like 20-50+ parents meeting together and their kids!) The main thing that is taught in preschool/kinder is socialization, letters, numbers, and manners.    Warning, another wild hair idea.  🙂  Where should we have play school?  Well, I think physical education should always be outside and so we would have gyms available for play school.  You could break up the gym into 4 stations; station 1-play area/toys, station 2- meal/snack and learning manners time, stations 3/4-would be a sports play area (mini soccer field, kick ball, t-ball, etc.  The play school would be 2 hours long and each station would last for 30 minutes.  Then if parents wanted more play time and interaction time their would be local parks that the parents and kids could congregate to.

75. College-bound- this phrase refers to the belief system that someone is; “college bound”  meaning they have the potential to go to college.   I think that every human being born has the potential and should have the ability to go to University/College.  I think every human being should go to college because of the incredible psychological and social  development that happens at a four year university.  Additionally, if someone has paid for a 4 year degree, someone should be able to audit any lecture style class where there is free seats available free of charge for life.  Truly, as adults we need to have access to free education for our whole life, especially when we have previously paid 100k+ for our education. We put so much emphasis on children’s education and we need to prioritize the value of providing education for life. Adults also NEED continual education to thrive and grow.

playground- Our Earth is our playgroud, there should maps for every creek, waterfall, hiking trail, pond, etc.   Instead of parks we need to be PLANTING TREE’S! WE CAN create out door parks with ziplining, river walking, river tubing, rock climbing, everything you can imagine… our parks are lame, we can do SO MUCH BETTER.

Landscaping- this is a joke!  (mostly)  Instead of landscaping, we need to be planting trees all over.  Trees are so beautiful and we need way more trees ALL OVER. 🙂  Also, speaking of play grounds, Tree houses are a million times more cool than play grounds, we need to get back to building tree houses.  And, in every city/town there needs to be a map that will show you where all the excellent “tree climbing tree’s ” are and these need to get updated every year.  This is a great hobby that we need to bring back!   All that water that we are going to “saving” with getting rid of bottled water, we could use towards an irrigation system for some TREE’s!  Speaking of bottled water, if people stopped taking all those drugs and started just sticking to EATING REAL FOOD ONLY, THEN OUR TAP WATER WOULD BE fresh 🙂

BOTTLED WATER- huge waster!

Polution!

Oil (the kind that kills our beautiful sea creatures in our oceans..) meh…

Real Estate Agent-  ALL OF OUR HOUSES WOULD BE much much much CHEAPER IF WE GOT RID OF THis career THAT MAKE SICK SICK SICK SICK SICK SICK AMOUNTS OF MONEY PER HOUR.   If you do YOUR RESEARCH WELL, YOU DO NOT NEED A REAL ESTATE AGENT.   But we should not make it that hard, common sense, ethics, transparency, 5 sheets of paper per closing.  🙂 I have put together a contract on a house and I am not a real estate agent, I lost the house, but I think I was the next up in line out of about 10.  Why?  Because my contract was aggressively priced since I did not have to pay anyone realtor fee’s on my behalf.

Greeter- at Walmart they have greeters when you walk in and while its a nice hello, that is not a job.  EVERY JOB THAT WE  traCREATE WE NEED TO BE ABLE TO HAVE BUSY HANDS

car- Honestly, I think our cars should be horses instead!  I think everyone should have a horse.  Why do you think Yahweh created horses?  Just to sit in a horse show and collect awards?  LAME!!!  When you turn 16 you get a horse license and a car license.  But, horses are way more cost effective and energy efficient.  Maybe a family can share one car or we need to create carpool buses??   Personally, I would way rather have a horse than a car anyday.  And second after a horse, would be a camper.  Campers are way more cool than cars I think.  🙂

Essentail Oils- WASTE for diffusers! How many flowers does it take to make a container of role oil?  I think these are a big waster expecially when you defuse them.  However, I think essential oils make much better perfumes than 95% of all perfumes.

Pure Maple Syrup-

I think maple and honey could be diluted.

Bomb- I just plain and simple hate this word, it makes me sad.  Why were these EVER INVENTED IN THE FIRST PLACE?

Social Media-When social media came out for the first time in human history I believe we STOPPED EVOLVING AS A HUMAN RACE.  let me say that again,

for

the

first

time

in

human

history,

when

social

media

came

out

we

stopped

evolving.

updates

applications

text messages- texting has made people uncaring and uncompassionate.

 

People are no longer able to call people, have phone conversations, confront people, etc.  high school kids are writing SCHOOL papers with lol, brb, and a plethora of other abbreviations that they learned by texting.  Texting also have been # 2 invention that has STOPPED US FROM EVOLVING AS A HUMAN RACE.  We are created to be social and relational at the core of our being.  We have stopped evolving psychologically ever since the onset of texting, social media, and the internet.  Even though I like the internet and email and find it very beneficial, there needs to be checks and balences put into place where we are not on it ALLL THE TIME.

email- email as we know it, needs to cease to exist.  email has made everyone passive aggressive and no one knows how to confront people any more.  There needs to be strict rules with email, for example, only use email for logistical reasons, 10 1ords, but I am people pleasing here, we would all be SO MUCH HAPPIER IF WE JUST GOT RID OF EMAIL BY 90% AND USED PHONE 90% MORE THAN WE ARE NOW.  When we hear other people’s voices, it makes us feel good 🙂  email does not have that same effect.  no email for ANY “confronting” issues.

Plastic Surgery- I wish women did not even know the option existed.

surgery-  way too many people get surgery and their ankle or arm is worse off after the surgery.  I think surgery needs to be a last option, not a first option.  but my opinion means NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTHING.

Gang- these groups form together to give themselves a feel of belonging, acceptance, and being a leader.  There are other ways to go about getting these needs met.  Gangs are based on narcissism wounds.

Drug trafficking- I’m my dream world, we would not have drugs or alcohol until 25.  Then enjoy enjoy enjoy in moderation but still ENJOY, there all here for our enjoyment.  People who have never done drugs and think their “wrong” LIGHTEN UP, REALLY?! Why do you think Yahweh made them for us?  sheesh.  🙂

inactive ingredients-  Look at the list of inactive ingredients on most of our lotions, etc?  Why do we need those in there?  Hmm, I just bet you that if we stopped using all those products with all those added chemicals we would see far less wrinkles.

Indoor Sports- So we are ALL VITAMIN D DEFICIENT, so why don’t we make the indoor sports outdoor sports instead?  Like Hockey, Volley-ball, Basketball?

Proffesional Football-Speaking of sports, I think that professional sports need to actually have 100% pure skill to be considered a sport. I AM WELL AWARE MY STUPID OPINION DOES NOT matter with ANY OF THIS STUFF, but I still like giving my stupid opinion 🙂  Sports like ultimate fighting and football I don’t think are real sports because real sports should not cause the brain damage that these sports cause.  seriously. When I think of 100% pure skill I think of GYMNASTICS.   I think Gymnastics should be a professional state sport and soccer. Futbol! maybe football should be turned into tackle flag football?

“girl sports” and “Boy sports” – Also, there needs to be a womans professional baseball team just like there is  for guys.  Speaking of  Why do women play softball and men play baseball?  kinda seems stupid to me.

Girl Colors/Boy Colors- like the colors you like.

girl toys/ boy toys-

Healthy- this divides foods into certain categories that creates food issues as well. Because people are trying to eat “healthy” and not “bad”.  meh, just eat for petes sake.

Anorexia- Some people are thin and bullied to think that there anorexic, when there not.  We need to stop overanalyzing what people eat and just let people eat.  While some people do have disordered eating and need therapy to heal their disordered eating, I do not think that anorexia really articulates the problem.  If someone is growing peach fuzz all over their body for example,  they do not have anorexia, they are DYING from STARVATION.

Mean- people think there being mean, when there being honest. BEING HONEST IS NEVER BEING MEAN! Being 100% honest is your god given calling.  If you are being a bully, that is an entirely different thing.  Our world NEEDS people who are HONEST!!  For example, if you are not attracted to your partner anymore, that is their sin, not yours for telling them that.  And that is NOT MEAN AT ALL TO TELL THAT TO THEM, THAT IS being HONEST.  honesty is never never never never sin, sin is thinking; “I don’t want to hurt her feelings!”  Where do we get this idea in life that it is bad to hurt people’s feelings?  Once again, being a bully is entirely different than being honest.  If you are honest, you are in good standing, if the other person has hurt feelings because of that,  They have hurt feelings because THEY NEEDED TO HEAR THAT! Hurt feelings in this case is designed to precipitate a change in behavior.  🙂  The truth is, Yahweh made attraction and chemistry for a reason.  If you are not attracted to someone because they have gained 10-15 pounds since you have met them, it is their responsibility to get back to the weight when you got married.  Part of healthy wedding vows are; I am committing to keep myself at this weight or close to it, by doing this I am honoring my wedding vows.   Everyone goes up and down a  little,  every body has a comfort zone weight, for most people their comfort zone weight is the weight they have been at for most of their life.   Hypothetically speaking, if you were one weight for your first 30 years of life and then you all of a sudden became a heavier weight, you can not get mad at your partner when he tells you, he is not attracted to you anymore.  If you both had the intense chemistry in the beginning, made one another laugh all the time, and if your morals and values are in line, then your soul mates or kindred mates, I like that word a lot better,  just get back to your original weight when you got married and watch the passion come back. (but don’t even try doing this as a stay at home mom, its too hard, just go back to work and the pounds will come off a lot easier.) If you want even more passion to come back, then heal your spiritual narcissism by taking a fast from talking about god for 1 year, believe it or not, your spiritual leader/mentor should ONLY be an agnostic or non religious person whom you deeply respect, learn from them, watch how they live their life, learn from their HUMILITY, god and humility are one.  Watch how they never talk about god because they are honoring their god given conscience, because spiritual words 99% of the time just builds up our own ego. (that is 100% sin, that agnostics don’t have.)  Many agnostics have far less sin in their life than devouts.  and don’t ever disrespect them by talking about god in their presence, except for only asking questions and learning,  (but keep in mind, they know god a lot better than you do in many ways, you are NOT their mentor, they are your spiritual mentor.   If you do this, watch even more chemistry and passion will enter your marriage.   Disclaimer~ when I say soul mates or kindred mates that is just meaning two separate people with two separate and different souls, but their individual and different souls are the most compatible, so that’s why they chose to get married. 🙂    I don’t really like the word soul mates, in terms of how the general public means it, not at all.   I do not mean soul mates in a destiny way or that there is only one person out there for you, I have never believed that, and I think that’s kinda silly!   I also have never believed that soul mates means that you share the same soul, that’s non-sense too, every person born has their own soul that needs be evolved through a wide variety of life experiences.   Speaking of evolving your soul, that brings up the topic of codependency.  Early marriage is what causes codependency 99% of the time.   🙂  That’s why my recommendation is that people should not get married until their late 20’s, because it takes at least 25 years to figure out your own soul, (personality) and then discover  your  talents, gifts, skills, career, and then its good to live out on your own for a while,  before you get settled down and get married. We all are created to evolve in every way and when we are alone for a season of our life, we evolve.  🙂  Many people never discover who they are, their skills, gifts, fears, insecurities, because they get married right out of college, and they don’t evolve because they weren’t alone for a loooooong enough time.  Being  alone is a beautiful thing.   Speaking more of codependency,   I believe every woman and man is called to have a career!  (do not take that literally, careers can mean different things.)   But heck, there are waaaay too many moms who are living unevolved because god has given them many gifts, but they will never discover them because there “home-makers”  I’m not anti home making, I’m anti not using YOUR GIFTS THAT GOD HAS GIVEN YOU.

Food Bank- Hunger is a motivating factor to get people to get off of their butts and start working. If we are always providing food for homeless people how do you think they are going to get the motivation to go back to work?!  Yes, there are EXCEPTION STORIES TO EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE, ABSOLUTELY.  🙂

Emergency Room- In Colorado there are E.R’s sprouting up every 2 miles.  90% of the time, In our hospitals and our emergency rooms we are creating a generation of paranoia and medication addicted people.  Often times, I think our hospitals and emergency rooms are doing more help for the “economy” and FAR less help for the people.  Speaking of, I think the word, “dehydration” in the western sense of the word is mostly a joke, you want to see real dehydration?  Visit a third world country, its devastating.

 

Christmas- No offence Christians, but I am 100% over CHRISTMAS!  It is of my humble opinion that we idolize Jesus on this day and spend disgusting amounts of money on gifts.  Instead of Christmas,  I would want to have a holiday on December 25th called, “Honor our Beloved Tribal and Indian Women and Men.”  You see, we civilized folks have A LOT TO LEARN from these peoples way of life and vice versa.  I think we should take one day a year to honor them and their heritage and to learn some of their beautiful customs and ways of life.

CEO/president/executive director/vice president, – I THINK THese WORD NEED TO BE TAKEN OUT OF OUR DICTIONARY!  IN REPLACEMENT OF THE WORD “cEO” I THINK WE SHOULD PUT THE WORD; “HARDEST WORKER”. THE CEO SHOULD NEEDS TO BE THE HARDEST WORKER OF THE COMPANY.  Same with Manager, Supervisor, etc.  This is the only way where people will be motivating to work hard, because their hard work may pay off with a promotion.  However, huge disclaimer here, a lot of ceo’s may not be hard workers, but their creative idea genius’ and because of their creative ideas they were able to get promoted up to CEO.  We need to cultivate the ideas of these creative idea genius’, however we also need to have some accountability in place where these people are expected to work hard.  In our world, the hardest workers are typically working in the least paying jobs, this does not seem right.

Scholerships – meh… just make college more affordable.

Online School-

trade school, tech school, 2 year college, police academy, etc, etc, etc- I think all of our post high school education needs to be organized into a 4 YEAR COLLEGE FORMAT.  WE NEED TO STREAMLINE OUR EDUCATION SYSTEM, SO WE CAN GET ALL THE EDUCATION WE WOULD NEED FOR LIFE AFTER WE GRADUATE FROM COLLEGE WITH A BA.  (EXCEPT FOR A FEW CAREERS)  Right now a BA means nothing, really..

“Smart”-  meh..  35 on the ACT has nothing to do with “smarts”

Marketing- Marketing is 100% a joke.  We should live in a world where it is a law that you have to review a service after you have used it, might take you (3 minutes?). For example, every client that participates in therapy at the center for healing and change would have to fill out a review after they were finished with therapy.  Anyone at anytime could “google” a company and see all the reviews for that company.  The reviews would be 100% just and fair because you knew those reviews were an accurate account of everyone who has used their services.  This is how people should get good business, people should NOT get good business just because they have some skills in marketing/seo.

Cell Phone Bill-  Talking is a basic need in life, such as water and food, we need to talk to people!  So I do not think that people should ever have to pay for a phone service.  Speaking of, we don’t have to THANKS TO GOOGLE VOICE.  Every one in the whole world can get a free phone number and voicemail with google voice.  You just have to pay for the phone.  🙂 But I think even voicemail was a bad invention, I think we have too much privacy now in a lot of ways and it leads to broken marriages, affairs, divorce, etc.  Back in the old days, no one had an individual voice mail, people just had a family land line.

News- I think 90% of news is NEGATIVE, GOSSIP FILLED, AND VIOLENT.  The News is the # 1 factor in my own opinion which perpetuates violence in our communities.  The ONE news show that I LOVE IS………THE TODAY SHOW!  This news show is an example of news done mostly right; it is positive, light, and encouraging.  What are your thoughts on news shows done right?  News should never never never be about an invasion of someone’s privacy, privacy is a god given right and the news has taken that RIGHT away from millions of people and could care less, just as long as they have a noteworthy news story.  sick. sick. sick. sick. sick. sick.   

Television- t.vs should have timers on them where they turn off after 1-2 hours each day.  90% of television these days is full of violence, drama, & disrespect.  Even when I watch family shows like modern family, which I think is quite funny, I am still astounded and how the children talk to the adults in the show.  Why are we minimizing and casualizing such disrespect in our family shows?  I miss the days of family ties, who’s the boss, little house on the prairie, Dr.Quinn medicine woman, sesame street, Mr. rogers.  Also, I think things video games, etc. needs to have timers on them where they  have to turn off after 1 hour a day.  😉  people wayste their whole life doing this stuff, but I am an odd ball, I tend to think we have waaay  too much freedom in our world sometimes and its not healthy for us.

girl scouts-   this organization is kinda lame and can improve SO MUCH!!!!  I think boy scouts and girls scouts should be about developing outdoor skills, leadership, cooperation, life skills, cooking skills, business skills, social skills, confrontration skills.

Hotels- as we know them needs to cease, hotels need to have FREE social events every night and need to be a lot cheaper.

Hospitals- Hosipitals as we know it are 100% underutilized.  Space in hospitls needs to be used much more than they are now.   Hospitals needs to be the main head quarteters for emotional health and physical health concerns.

Therapy/Counseling-  These words make people think that therapy is for healing depression, anxiety, relationship issues, etc.  THIS IS SO WRONG!    The reality IS THAT THERAPY needs to be for EVERYBODY AND IT NEEDS TO BE EXPECTED THAT EVERYONE

EVERYONE

EVERYONE

EVERONE

DOES THERAPY AT LEAST 2X-4X PER YEAR TO

HELP

PEOPLE

LIVE

THEIR

BEST

LIFE.   THERAPY SHOULD NEVER  JUST BE ABOUT FIXIG PROBLEMS, ELLEVIATING PATHOLOGY.  Therapy is the BEST TOOL AVAILABLE to help people live their BEST LIFE.

killer- this word casulizes killing, we should never never never use this word.

Slavery- no one should live as a slave, no one.   But I will say that I think there was a reason why we went through slavery culturally speaking, it has taught us lessons in dealing with our soul.  The black race as a whole seems so much more connected to their soul, than white people.  I think we have such a premature understanding of the purpose of slavery.  Slavery happened to teach us all the value of hard work, when you work hard for generations and generations, it changes your soul that you pass down to your children, it changes your dna.  I would much rather go to an all back church on a sunday than a white church any day, at a ratio of a million to one.  Church needs to be the most diverse place every week.) I feel more connected to my soul when I am around africans.  I feel like there deep struggles that they have had to go to obtain freedom permanently made a mark on their souls, their souls are more pure than most white mans soul’s, they understand overcoming horrible odds, slavery, etc.  They know deep struggle and pain far more than most white people do.

Wild Hair idea here.   🙂  But I also think we  may have a faulty idea that FREEDOM SHOULD ALWAYS BE A RIGHT.  I think we have way too much freedom in many ways and its NOT good for us.  For example, I think it would be good if we had a law where adult children were  not allowed to live in their parents home as an adult and not work and receive free rent beyond 3 years.  In my dream world, After this first 3 year period was over, if they were not working, then they would be put into a census and would be sent  to a family home where they would work as a house keeper 20-30 hours per week and receive free room, board, and company.  The family would treat this person with the utmost respect and dignity and as one of their own.  When they found a job, they would carry on.  If they did not like the family, they could switch families until they found a family that was a mutually good fit.

 

Government- I think a lot of government is a joke, but not all of it, I think government is really mostly about egoism and narcissism masked and less about actually helping the people.  And voting tolls are a joke unless there is a law that everyone has to vote and also it should be a law that no one is allowed to be a leader in government if they have pathological narcissism and/or are not getting treatment for it. Best president for our country, gary Johnson, he knows how to balance a budget, priorities folks, why are we trying to be a super power to the world all the while we have trillions of debt?  no no no, that is not how we lead our country.  We always take care of our problems first.   (kinda like sweeden does, they stay out of everybody’s business and take care of their own business.)  But when your own business is taken care of, we are called to help others out who are less fortunate as us.  (meaning other countries.)

Credit- Why do we have credit in the first place?!  I think it is so silly that “credit” is needed to buy a house, etc. Why can’t we all just have debit cards?

“Control the Pet Population”  No offence Bob barker, but I think that everyone deserves to have a pet as an adult.  Pets are our friends.  🙂  Getting a pet should be a right of passage, everyone needs a pet to take care of.

Apartment- I think it is unfair to have to pay rent for where you live?  BUT LIFE IS NOT FAIR!  True that.   In my dream world, all apartments would get turned into condos where you could BUY THEM.

Key- wild hair idea here….this IDEA IS 100% FAR-FETCHED, BUT I’LL just say it!  I think keys are really over rated and a big waste of metal and we all lose them and that drives us NUTS.  What if our “key” or our “id” was connected to our finger-print?  Our finger-print is as individualistic as they can come.

Cat Calls- I went to Costa Rica after college and for the first time in my 23 something life, I heard what “cat calls” were.   This word should have never became a word; men, never, never, never, never “cat call” for a women.  Women are to be treated with the utmost respect and dignity and “cat calls” are certainly not that.  However, we have a lot to learn from the costa rican way of life.  These beautiful people prioritize community unlike any other culture I’ve seen.   Pura Vida 🙂    However, these cultures probably have a lot to learn from our fellow brothers and sisters in China regarding maybe playing a little less and lets work harder.   I have heard that people from China have the strongest work ethic in the whole world.    Hmm, I wonder if this is a fact or fiction?  Who knows.

Original Sin- This word is just 100% horrible.  How can anyone think an innocent pure little baby has original sin?  This word has caused so many people to feel shame.  We are created with 100% goodness and our experiences in life make us who we are.   We are all loved by Yahweh more than we know.  And in this life, we are all going to struggle and sin.  We need to be honest about our sins and confess our sins regularly.  This process heals our souls and cleanses our conscience.  If our God-given conscience is going to work correctly, we must regularly humble ourselves and confess our struggles and sins.   God has put into the brain of every human being a conscience, that conscience will lead and direct them in the right way if they listen to it.  Our Conscience works by giving us feelings of guilt when we go against our conscience.  When we don’t listen to that guilt over time, it may turn to shame.  We need to train our brain to listen to guilt and see guilt as a positive emotion that leads us to humility, redemption, and restored confidence.  We need to learn to daily nurture our humility.

Additionally, we need to be giving our brain emotional nutrition every day.  Man-made religion has just left people feeling shame and condemnation, this is so sad!  If we are going to make religion healthy, we need to be teaching people the value in giving themselves emotional nutrition every day.  What is emotional nutrition?  Read my blog post from January/February.

Bible-  The “Bible” has dummed down the whole world for the last 2,000 years.  For the last 2,000 years people have been lead to believe that they have to find their sense of morality in this book and if they do not find their morality in this book then their is no basis for morality.  All of you people who have believed this are GUILTY OF BLASTEMY.  THIS BOOK IS 100% FLAWED.  THIS BOOK IS NOT YOUR CONSCIENCE.  YOUR GOD GIVEN CONSCIENCE IS YOUR CONSCIENCE.  STOP WORSHIPPING THIS SILLY BOOK.

 

Equal Opportunity Employer:  this phrase just causes racism.  Case in point, In America, if a white man was applying for a social worker position and a black man with dreds was applying for the same social worker position.  If all their qualifications were equal except for race, 9 times out of 10, the black dude with dreds would get the job.  This is not equitable and fair.   Diversity should not be a deciding factor in who you pick, qualifications should be.

/Academy/Institute/Premier/Boarding School/Primerib, Bla Bla School of Excellence,

These are all narcissistic words that make people think there getting the “cream of the crop” in terms of education.  Boarding school is where rich parents often send their kids because there out of control.  Boarding school is not the answer, parenting coachcing is the answer.  But of course NO ONE IN THIS WORLD WOULD EVER PAY FOR PARENTING COACHING…  seriously.

Discimination:  So this word, I didn’t want to put it down because discrimination happens a lot and we need to be stopping it when it does.  However,  I do feel like some times women especially can take advantage of harassment lawsuits and this is just 100% wrong.

“You are a Bad Boy”  This phrase is  a toxic phrase, when kids hear this a lot from their parents it CAUSES LIFE LONG RAMIFICATIONS.  🙂

Untouchables-  NO ONE SHOULD EVER BE BORN INTO A CASTE SYSTEM LIKE THIS.  All of these B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L people are God’s children and need to be treated as such.

Caste System-

Veiled-  I think of many beloved Muslim women when I think of this word.  While I respect the Muslim faith a great deal for its emphasis on modesty and I think the rest of the world has a lot to learn from the Muslims in this area.   I think we may also have a lot to teach Muslim women about unveiling their NATURAL GOD-GIVEN BEAUTY sometimes. While, I love head scarfs and think head coverings can be beautiful and I can APPRECIATE why all women may where them as a sign of their faith or for style purposes, I also think that there needs to be some redemption in this area for some women perhaps.  I do think that if one believes they have to wear a head covering every day of their life, otherwise their not among the “faithful” in their religious group, This belief system could inevitable create a lot of shame and I would want to free someone from this shame.  Bottom line, I just  think that legalism creates shame and so I guess I see this as legalistic

Celibacy-  I do not think God has created anyone to be celibate, however, I do believe people may desire and seek out to live a single life.  I think because of this belief that celibacy equals holiness, we have had a lot of abuse taking place in our churches, namely the Catholic church.

catechism- meh…. spiritual arrogance do you mean?

Papal supremacy- How can you believe that the pope is infallible?  No one is infallible, including God.  Catholics, do you realize you are elevating the pope above God?  People are not designed to be put on pedestals.  The pope struggles with a lot of spiritual narcissism, chuckle chuckle, he has too, he’s the pope.  I have no idea if he is loveable, news tells nothing about someone’s character and integrity.  Frankly, I think agnostics and non religious folks are probably more loveable than the pope, because their more emotionally honest and humble!  But he does have a wonderful smile. 🙂   Truthfully, people who believe set religious dogmas are just more prone to mind control and manipulation.  That’s why I believe that agnostics and/or non-religious folks are actually probably the ones with the healthiest faith, but they just don’t know it.  Because these people do not check their brain at the door in terms of understanding life, etc.

Business Attire- we just need to wear clothes that were comfortable in, suits and ties are lame!

Saints- People are not designed to be put on pedestals.  You can not judge someones life by the exterior either.  Have you ever seen the movie, CRASH?  It illustrates this point wonderfully.  On the exterior, you may have someone look like a saint, on the inside you may have a totally different ball game.

Pre-Teen/Teenager-  These words minimize our children’s innocence and childhood, I believe.  What?  My daughter is a pre-teen at 11/12!  NO, she is not!   I think that childhood should be a protected time from 6-14.  When an adolescent turns 15, it marks their transition into becoming a young Man/Woman!

Birthday Party-Speaking of, I do not think that we should have b-day parties every year and get gifts every single b-day, I think this type of stuff creates entitlement and spoilededness.  Let’s take after our beautiful Latin brothers and sisters and adopt the idea of a quincenetta.  At the age of 15, each young woman and man can have a Quincenetta to C-E-L-E-B-R-A-T-E this right of passage.  On other birthday’s,  instead of gifts, create a SPECIAL MEMORY at each birthday.  Do a special bday dinner and go somewhere special as a family.  I am preaching to the choir here on this one!  Speaking of, I love rights of passage!!

Teen Dating- I know, I’m really old fashioned here!  I think that young men and women 12-15 should only have group dates and family dates and should not have 1-1 dates until 16.  Then, dating needs to be about going to public places and getting to know each other. While I do not agree with some of the duggers evangelical beliefs and they may be a little over board in this arena and they (along with many other christians) spiritualize the dating process in a way that is very UNHEALTHY, toxic and 100% innacurate.  But I do think they have a lot to teach us all about healthy dating in the modern age for high school age students.

In my dream world, there would be enforceable and beautiful rights of passage at each passing age.  For all the dumb rules we have in this world, why don’t we create some wise rules that will help us live life better. What are your ideas?  Some of mine include;

18- women can not wear makeup until age 18. And even then, we teach women moderation with make-up.

20-no wedding/marriage until the age of 25 or 20, but that is my people pleasing answer (Although I think your greatest chance of having a successful marriage is if you wait until mid 20’s.)

21- drinking alcohol (but make it so under age drinking actually does NOT happen.)  Same with drugs.  This goes back to my problem with law enforcement, they are so focused on stopping stupid crime that they are failing to notice that 3/4 of students graduating from high school have been drunk a dozen or more times.  When people become habitual drinkers in their teenage years, this has devastating LIFE LONG effects on the development of their real personality.  BTW, I believe the original design for alcohol is solely to get people drunk, not belligerently drunk.   I do not believe Alcohol was ever designed to be a drink or a beverage to cure thirst.  This error in thinking HAS CREATED MILLIONS OF ALCOHOLICS, there are SO MANY PEOPLE THAT ARE ALCOHOLICS AND HAVE NO IDEA THEIR ALCOHOLICS.

By yhe way,

“Going out for drinks.”  Is not how you get to know someone and this makes for a lousy beginning of a relationship.  People need to learn how to socialize without using liquor as a crutch.

22-drugs

23-tattoos (Because there PERMANENT and every one gets tattoos at an early age and these tattoos often times are just an over compensation for insecurity.)  Deal with your insecurities, don’t just get tatttoos to try and numb them.   In teenage years, kids get tattoos all the time to ward off insecurity feelings, same with men and their big bad trucks.  yeah, you just try driving in a little ford excort and see how much smaller you feel.   😉

“Lady’s first”-  If you want to be  TRUE GENTLEMAN,than you will let the woman in your life make the first move in a relationship.  Why?  I believe women, unlike men have more emotional intuition and they often know intuitively when the relationship/friendship is ready for physicality.  Men, unlike women, have a God-given sex drive that sometimes blinds them in this department.  So, if you really want to show your women that you are A TRUE GENTLEMAN, than try waiting until she feels comfortable to kiss you vs. the latter.  If we could all make this transition in our romantic relationships, I believe our romantic relationships could improve dramatically because we would be able to have a friendship before a relationship in most circumstances.

Sagging- GUYS STOP SAGGING!  Have respect for women and don’t wear pants that go down to you knees!!!

Online dating- Instead of online dating, why don’t we have community wide socials all over town 2x a month based off of age/social status.   These could be set up by volunteers, speaking of volunteers, we need to make it EASY to volunteer in this world with any organization.

laptop/tablet-  I think WORK NEEDS TO STAY AT WORK, AND PLAY NEEDS TO BE PLAY!  WE NEED TO WORK HARD TO PLAY HARD.  🙂  These 2 inventions blurr these two lines where people are always bringing home work. I don’t think this is good for our work ethic nor our families.  once again, I’m preaching to the Choir here on this one!  But tablets are an excellent way to go green in our doctors offices by filling out the forms on a tablet.

Single mother living~  Okay, little vent fest here! woot woot!  So I am a single mother half time, which I know does not really count, but you’ll get where I am going with this.   For example, if I get married again, great, I would really like that, but if I don’t, the alterior option should not be just me living alone with my kids.  wa wa wa, laaaaame.  🙂 Single mothers need to have the opportunity to live in community single mom’s housing communities where we can do life together, this should be the norm, not the exception.  We are always created to do life together and every single mother will be a much better mother when she is living in community with other moms.   The last 3-4 years, I have honestly been a quite marginal mom in some ways for many different reasons, one of them being because I am kinda grumpy a lot, and sometimes I take it out on my children and I need not to do that.  Why am I grumpy?  Because I need real and honest community, we all do. Believe it or not, community is a need, not a want.  We are wired in our dna to be relational.   I would LOVE to move into a local single mother housing community if there was one around town, that would be wonderful AND sooo fun. 🙂

Trophies/Ribbons/Medals/Rewards/Awards/Praise-   A genuine compliment is all we need, we do not need these non-sense things!  In sports a win is a win, when you win, a hand-shank and the feeling of knowing that you won should be all you need.  These luxuries are 100% a wayste and just create narcissism.  “Looooook at all the trophies I have bla bla bla!”

Dean of Students- In our school system today we have created a system where there is NO ACCOUNTABILITY FOR CHILDREN’S BEHAVIORS.  NONE. ZIP. ZILCH. NADA.  Why do the parents carry so much power in our schools?  Why are schools afraid to confront parents?  ohh yea, DUMB LAWSUITS!  We need to be supporting our Schools as parents and supporting our teachers to discipline our children.  The fear of stupid lawsuits have made us all into scared little puppy dogs and know one will step on anyone’s toes.   One student is passed off from the teacher to the principle to the dean of students to the counselor to the school psychologist to the interventionist back to the teacher back to the principle, back to the counselor, back to the principle who decided to suspend the kid from school for 1 week.  you see the pattern.  IT IS 100% CRAZY MAKING! Then the icing on the cake is that the kid gets to stay at home and play video games ALL DAY LONG AS A PUNISHMENT FOR BEATING A STUDENT UP…  REALLY?! All the while every school staff is looking at their “data” and padding them selves on the back that there doing SOOOOO GOOD!  All the while we are graduating students who do not know how to apologize for hurtful behavior, do not know how to call someone and talk on the phone for 30 minutes, avoids all phone conversations, but just says, “i prefer to text” so know one bats an eye, does not know how to reflect on their own issues, does not know how to take responsibility,  but golly gee, they got a 35 on the act, and aced every math class in high school and have not turned in a paper with one spelling error since 4th grade..  Putting it bluntly, my fear is that we are raising narcissists in our school who care more about spelling errors and could care less about personal responisbility, ethics, and stewardship.  We need to empower our teachers to teach & discipline their students.  Schools, stop trying to do everything for everybody, You job is not to provide health care, counseling for your students, your job is not to have 2 assistant principles per school, 2 deans, 4 counselors, 1 interventionist, 1 social worker, 1 reading coach, 2 math coaches, etc… Hypothetically speaking, when an assistant principle is selling houses as a real estate broker during the school day because fair enough,  there is LITTLE WORK TO BE DONE AS AN ASSISTANT SCHOOL PRINCIPLE, I think its fair to say to say maybe we are hiring way to many “leaders” and not enough amazing teachers.   Truthfully, Amazing Teachers are the only type of leaders we need in our schools.    If you want to get the best bang for your buck, stick with finding EXCELLENT TEACHERS, SCHOOLS SHOULD SCOUT FOR EXCELLENT TEACHERS LIKE SPORTS COACHES SCOUT FOR PLAYERS.  My sister is a division III Gymnastics Coach and she will go on scouting trips to california from minnesota to seek out gymnasts for her team.  Why do we care more about finding good sports players for a college team and less about finding excellent teachers for our students??   Schools, your job is to FIND EXCELLENT TEACHERS SOLELY AND EMPOWER YOUR TEACHERS TO DISCIPLINE AND PROVIDE EFFECTIVE CLASSROOM MANAGEMENT.  Schools need to have discipline rooms where a child is sent to if he/she is acting up.  6 feet high 3 feet wide, heck, they’ll be in there for 5 minutes and trust me, they’ll be ready to get to class and concentrate.  🙂   Hello!?  REALITY CHECK?!  If I was a student and I was talking back and every time I talked back I was sent to the principles office and I got all this 1-1 time with my principle, heck I would be acting up non-stop.  But of course, I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT, I DONT HAVE EXPERIENCE IN EDUCATION. REASON # 1,001 WHY OUR EDUCATION SYSTEM needs an upgrade.

Job Interview- 9 times out of 10 with job interviewing, we are just picking people for the job that may know how to interview well, knows the professional lingo, knows the fancy words, etc. thats it.  All the while, the amazing worker bee who has social anxiety and clams up in interviews never gets hired.  hmmm…  maybe a job interview would be way more effective if just every interviewer knew this going into the job interview.  So, then we would not blindly turn away the person who may be the BEST PERSON FOR THE JOB.

Mansion- We are more depressed, lonely, and isolated that we ever have been in human history because we are not created to live in these big homes with multiple levels, etc.  We are created to be in community.   I do not even think we should be making homes with levels anymore.  Why?  Why do we need basements to send our kids down to when we sure as heck know that basements and teenagers are probably the worst combination ever..  We would all be so much happier if we lived in smaller spaces with more people.  For all the people that have big homes now and want house mates, I think we should use something like a personality matching service like eharmony but have it be for finding house mates that have your similar lifestyle, etc. Also, there needs to be a matching service for roommates for single people, single moms, and single dad’s.

5 day work week.  We need to play hard and work hard.  In my dream world, we would only work 40 hours per week Monday-Thursday 7-5,  STORES TOO!  Stores could have extended hours on Saturdays though maybe!  During work hours, we are not on the internet, our cell phones, etc.  (unless are job demands it..)

Desk- If we have a sedentary job like a therapist, secretary, etc.. lets have it be common place that desks are made for standing.  oofta.

Rosary- meh….

world wide web- this giant of a beast needs to have an on off switch, like maybe its turned on for 1-2 hours each day..  whi..

Easter Bunny/Santa Clause-  I hate that children world wide get excited for holidays because they equate them with candy and gifts.  This is 100% grose!  In the old testament, when you study the holidays they had nothing nothing nothing to do with gifts or candy.  The holidays were about having REVERANCE, SILENCE, WORSHIP, COMMUNITY.   I wish that gifts had NOTHING TO DO WITH SPIRITUAL HOLIDAYS.   The word Easter stems from a pagan god as well.  Why are we naming all of our holidays after pagan gods/goddesses?  Easter out to be named, Resurrection Sunday.

Automated phone service- Do I need to say more?

Sex Toy- throw them away.  (or only use them 1x  a month.) Men, do not use these as a crutch, learn how your womans body works.  Truthfully, a lot of Men have become lousy lovers because of this crutch toy.

Bipolar Disorder-  In our modern age, people would read this post and may automatically think; “Man, she sounds kind of bi-polar!”  Fair enough.  However, the truth of the matter is, when we are connected to our own soul and we have a new idea, we will work very quickly and we may seem off our kilter or quite bizarre to others during this time.  This may seem very “bipolar” to someone on the outside.    In actuality, when many people are tuning into their intuition on the inside, they may come across like their “bipolar” on the outside.  Speaking of, I am too lazy to take off the caps lock and put it back on caps lock in this blog.  So for a lot of this blog post, the caps lock has been on for a lot of the phrases. While this probably comes across as bi-polar as well, its not.  I just meant to put it on caps lock for ONE WORD and then take off, but I forget to take it off and I didn’t care to fix it.  Besides, the more errors in my blogs, the better, this is the attitude I choose to have to break out of that silly “perfectionism strong hold.”  I do believe in high energy and low energy, however I do not believe that we are to be medicated for it, I think we need to learn how to work with our brain chemistry.  Once you start to figure out your high energy and low energy patterns, then when you are in a high energy pattern you need to teach yourself that THE ONLY TIME YOU ARE ALLOWED TO SHOP IS WHEN YOU ARE IN A LOW ENERGY PATTERN.  🙂

“Smile for the phone” – Smiles need to be genuine, not forced.   We need to stop taking so many pictures of everything and just live our lives.  People would find that they have way more fun if they didn’t feel a need to take  a picture for every single event and outing.

Priest/Nun-  These words I think are creators of spiritual narcissism.  I think these devout souls have given far too much of their time to the church and its time for them to have a little fun!  Wild Hair Idea here 🙂  Let’s create a Match for Priests and Nuns!  lol.

Freedom of Speech-  I think sometimes we have waaaaay too much personal freedom and it is not a good thing.  I think Censorship is wise and a much more moderate view.  Why should anyone be able to put whatever they want on the internet?  In our libraries?  Book stores?  etc?  By all means, if you want to publish a book, that is your choice.  However, I think there needs to be far more censorship and discernment with what we are putting on our book shelves and the internet.  For example, in this post I make a  lot of controversial statements, I am well aware.   If the contents of this blog was about expressing ignorance, hate, discrimation, racism, sexism, religious hatred, etc, and was inaccurate and faulty, I would want this information to be screened and not allowed to be published in stores.  However, historically, there have been thousands of writings that have been banned for the wrong reasons, so I 100% get why we do have laws that protect our freedoms in this way.  But maybe there needs to be a middle ground between 2 extremes?  who knows..

baby toys-  Babies do not need baby toys, they need love.  These days, babies have far too many baby toys and not enough love.  (e.g- both parents are working full time and the 3 month old gets 2 hours with their parents each night after both parents pick the baby up from child care at 6.  I think this is emotionally traumatic for baby and parents alike.  And parents think they have to do it because that’s just “what you do.” to pay the bills.

Day Care- I do not believe in day care full time,  its not healthy for us nor our children.  But the reality is, in our world, parents feel like they have no other options.  I think parents should both be able to work part time and be home with the kiddos part time up until the kiddos are 5.  When children turn 5, work full time 🙂

Philanthropy-  While I have a lot to learn from these generous givers as I am a really lousy giver.  I do not think we need a word to describe the level of giving that someone gives.  When we give, its best if our left hand does not know what our right hand is doing.  This word just makes it known to the world how much you give.   If you want to give 90% of your income, just be a “cheerful giver” and give that amount.   if your giving is pure, no one needs to know.

Horoscope-  I think this is just superstition, there is no validity to this.  But I will never share this opinion freely with anyone that thinks differently because no sense in arguing about it.

Child Sex trafficking- If our law enforcement was guided by true justice causes, I would hope to create a world where this was NOT going on.

City-  I think our big cities need to be made into smaller towns crazy as this sounds.  We would all be so much happier if our big cities were broken up into smaller towns and our towns had fun town activities going on each week, e.g. socials, dances.

Professional Boundaries-  So while I respect this word in many ways, I think this word can have a double standard to it.  I respect this word a lot because it ensures that professional business practice stays as professional business practice which most often protects the rights of the consumer.  An example of a excellent professional boundary is the notion that as a therapist we should not have a relationship with a past client.  WE can all agree on this as therapists that this is 100% a needed and necessary boundary.  However, an example of a overly strict professional boundary or a double standard may be this.  Everyone needs to get better at making friends, as adults we all need to learn from the example of our children and when we meet someone we would like to be friends with we need to say; hey do you want to be friends?  I am at the hospital recovering still and

I can hire my friend as a hair stylist, photographer, plumber, electrician, professional organizer, etc.  However if I am a Therapist, I am not allowed to provide therapy to a friend in a professional setting.  So why are the previous examples okay?  and the latter example is not okay? I think this rule because mainstream because ineffective therapists who did not have good professional boundaries ended up doing therapy with their friends in social settings and this caused havoc on achieving successful outcomes.   Even though this rule is too strict in my opinion, I have followed it for the last 10 years of my career.  However, If my friend were to call me and say; “Kelly, my husband and I could really use some marriage counseling, could you provide us with some marriage counseling?”  I should be able to say; “Yes, I can provide you with some marriage counseling, however I would treat you exactly as I would any other client and hold you to the same standards in terms of payment, therapy expectations, etc.  and I will NOT do ANY therapy with you in a casual setting or in a social setting.”  If I was to provide you with therapy, please know well and clear that if I see you in a social setting, there must NOT be made any mention of therapy in social settings, for example, if both parties were invited to the same party and saw each other at the party.  Additionally, you will not call me as friends and talk about what was discussed about in therapy, therapy must strictly stay in therapy only.  Lastly, while therapy is going on, there must not be any social phone calls or social plans made, the only contact that we would have would be in therapy.  The regular social friendship could be re-established after therapy was completed.    I know and respect that my profession has needed to create such clear boundaries against these types of relationships because we have had far too many unethical and unskilled therapists that did more harm when attempting this vs. good.  However, I believe the problem lies within the “we have had far too many unethical and unskilled therapists that did harm part..”   I think we need to be training better therapists, the problem lies there I think..

If therapists are good at their job, they need to be allowed to practice discernment in this area and if they can NOT offer high quality services they can always say NO and refer.

Taxes-  I think this word is a huge time waster!  In the world of automated payments, why can’t taxes be autaomically taken out of our bank accounts based off of what we make?  lol, I know idea is 95% REDICILOUSE, I  just put this word selfishly down because I think taxes are a real pain! Who doesn’t though right?

strippers- meh… lets have bars with dancers, men and women.. classy.. ?

One Night Stand-  I heard a song today with this phrase in it and it made me sad.  Why do we live in a world where one night stands are the norm?

Private Schools- I think our schools would be so much better if we separated religion from education.  I think religions needs to stay within our churches, mosques, and synogues.  Speaking of our education, I think our education system is so broken.   There are BEST PRACTICES IN TERMS OF EDUCATION and we need to find what that is and do that.  We are graduating people with BA degrees and $100+ student load debt and the student is not allowed to get a job in their field unless they go on for further education.   This is 100% unethical in my silly opinion.  😉 Also, I think all students 1st grade-12th grade should wear uniforms.  This would teach women and men about modesty, it would encourage young men to develop some discretion, and it ELIMINATES barriers with social class.  School uniforms are just BEST.  Speaking of schools, we need to have a rule in our school cafeteria’s where we require children to eat their vegetables and fruits first.  This simple rule would cut back childhood obesity A LOT.  Speaking of food, I think we get a little too carried away about food allergies with our kiddos in privileged countries.

Baby carriers- We need to take after our African brothers and sisters and carry our babies more.

sirens

life insurance- meh..

 

“Experience Necessary”  We are often times turning down many suitable candidates for jobs because we are demanding experience over character.   The best candidates are sometimes people who have no experience but are; tenacious, truth tellers, think out of the box, work hard, collobrative, motivational, etc.  I would personally LOVE to be a platos close manager and I know that I would be awesome at it!!  But of course I could never do this unless I had experience.  There are MANY JOBS THAT HAVE CROSS OVER WITH OTHER JOBS.  FOR EXAMPLE, with a MA in Counseling, I should be able to have a shot at teaching jobs and managing jobs.  Now, if you hire me as a 6th grade teacher and I do not do well, then fire me, but at least give me a chance.  I think we are loosing so many amazingly qualified candidates because they do not have the “right experience.”   Speaking of firing someone, people once again are so afraid to fire people because they may get sued, once again, this is shaninigans, if you are not pulling your weight, you need to be let go.

“Checking her out.”  Men need to learn how to get control of their eyes and not disrespectfully look at a women in a way where you are entertaining lust.  I am not talking about men who are in a committed relationship with their woman, men are created to lust after their woman, however men who are not in a relationship I believe are called to practice some respect and modesty in this way and gain control of their eyes so a woman does not know you are checking her out,

Artificial- no need to explain more.

Cheer leaders- I think cheer leaders play into the belief that women are sex objects.  Speaking of, this makes me think of professional sports.  I think there needs to be women pro teams as well as man pro teams. Equity.

Cell phone- I don’t think phones are designed to be on us 24/7.  In social settings, people are forgetting how to socialize and are often playing around on their phones as a “social crutch.” because there nervous to talk.

Side Note~

If I could go back to living in any generation, it would probably be the 1980’s and 1990’s, (but dress style wise, maybe anne of green gable time, because I think women look AMAZING in DRESSES!)  The reason why I pick the 1990’s is because before then, sexism was a lot more prevalent, however after the 1990’s, I think that we have become stagnant and we stopped evolving because of social media/wide use of the internet, phone at our finger tips, and popularization of anti-depressants. Don’t get me wrong, I love the internet, but there needs to be LIMITS,  our work ethic has probably gotten a million times worse since the invention of the world wide web, cell phones, and social media.

Suicidal Ideation- In the 1800’s and 1900’s, suicide rates were nothing like they are today.  Back then people still had incredible hurt, depression, pain, sorrow, insecurity, jealousy, etc.  However they were not conditioned to believe that suicide was an option.  Back then, no one thought of suicide because it was never told to them that it was an option.  in our culture today, I believe we have conditioned people to think that suicidal thinking is a way of thinking about life when life become intolerable and horrible.  Suicidal rates are sky high, we are obviously doing something wrong.  Also, why do we need to always assess for ideation with people’s thoughts?  Just because someone has a “thought” does not mean it is a crisis.  Why don’t we have homicidal lines that are available if anyone is having thought of hurting somebody else?  I mean hurting yourself is your own choice, but hurting someone else is dealing with another persons life.  Disclaimer, of course I always assess for suicideal ideation because I have to, but I truly do believe in this time and age that we have conditioned people to think about suicide far more than they ever would if they had never heard of the word.

Mental Illness- Frankly, I think millions of people world wide have been the product of what I would call; “Mental Health System Abuse.”  Millions of people have been told that they have a mental illness, depression, bi-polar, ad/hd and because of these diagnoses these people have been conditioned to believe for the whole life that their behaviors are simply a product of brain chemisty and therefore they can not control their behaviors.  There have been millions of people in my opinion diagnosed with bipolar for example, and this diagnosis entitles them to act entitled, spoiled, dramatic, unaccountable, etc.  This MENTAL HEALTH SYSTEM ABUSE has turned millions of people into the worst version of themselves.

Social Workers, Counselors, Psychologists, Therapists

All of these names should be taken out of the dictionary and replaced with “Healer of Pain.” and if we are not healing your pain and speaking truth to you, stop seeing us.  Also, therapy can be a lot more effective if you go to your patients home.  People can make you think they have a certain type of life, and then you see their living situation and you think; holy smokes, this is a whole different story!

Hair dye- I think women would be a million times more beautiful if they stopped dying their hair.  But, sometimes its fun to die your hair!

Zoo-

enriched flour- not in our grocery stores, just in restaurants maybe… I don’t think this stuff is very good for us..

Glasses- wild hair idea here!  I’m probably 100%  wrong, No research to back this up.   I wonder if  our eyes are like a muscle and when we wear glasses, we are conditioning our eye muscle to become weaker and weaker.  ??

Open marriage- I don’t think any marriage should start out as an open marriage, but I have no experience in this arena, so my opinion means very little really.  But, I do think that a healthy  monogamous marriage after 15+ years or so could potentially maybe evolve into a more open marriage if both parties wanted that.  But if you are married to your soul mate, you maybe would not even want an open marriage. 🙂 For some marriages, this could never work, for other marraiges it maybe could work and with 100% openness and honesty this could possibly make the marriage stronger.  For example, for couples that wanted a more open marriage after 15+ years, there could be community socials for open couples where 50+ open couples could gather up and socialize and inter mingle.  I don’t think there should be drugs/alcohol at these events except for maybe once a month because the majority of time you would want people to be socializing sober.  I don’t think a polygamous relationship is healthy because it is based off in inequality.

Emergency/Crisis- 90% of the so called emergencies/crisis in our world are not actual emergencies and crisis.   This world is DRAMATIC in every way…

Germs- of course I believe in germs.  However, in the world of “always use your HAND SANITIZERS” and constant GERM OBSESSION, we are weakening our god given immune system.  I think we all need to chill out a little bit in this department.

Board of Directors- this is just an  empty phrase often times (not always) that makes a group of people feel like leaders.

Mini Skirt/Mini Dress-  I think these two words set up men for failure in the lust department and when you go on a date with a man in one of these you are immediately setting him up to see you as a body only vs. a brain with a body. If you want him to get to know your brain first, don’t wear one of these.

Speaking of dresses, I think that people would see a HUGE CHANGE IN THE ROMANTIC PASSION LEVEL IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP, if women and men went back to looking distinctively different.  I am not legalistic in any way and I dislike all forms of legalism.  So me saying this has nothing to do with legalism, its just an observation.  I think if we went back to women wearing mostly dresses and men wearing mostly pants, I think women in general would feel a lot more beautiful and men would feel women were a lot more beautiful as well, which would increase the PASSION in relationships tenfold.  just a guess?

exercise equipment- just be active, be outside, walk to work, bike, dance, do sports, hike, run.  excerise equipments I think mostly make us miserable and feel bad..

Ambulence-

Safety First- we are so obsessed with safety that we are not truly living…  frankly, I think life was a lot better back in the day when parents were driving their station wagon and 3 kiddos were all sitting up front in one row of seats with no seat belts and were giggling and laughing and just having good family time.  Sure, if the parent were going on the high way, they may make the kiddos get buckled up in the back seat.

Pockets- Pockets in womens purses just makes us loose our mind a little.   Can I hear an amen?!  Wouldn’t just a purse without pockets be a breath of fresh air.  🙂  lol.

 

Sex Education-  instead of having “sex education” in 4th-5th grade.  I think we need to wait until children are in 9th grade and in 9th grade have “sexuality is sacred” education.  The reality is; sexuality is sacred and it is designed to be this way.  It is my opinion that relationships and marriages have their best likelihood of SUCCESS long term if the couple waits until the couple is married or at least 1.5-2 years into the relationship to loose their virginity (at least the first time around)  The reality is  womens’ virginity is the most powerful tool that women have been given to help evolve their man and ensure their man learns how to treat his woman with respect and dignity.   The reality is, if you want a Man who will treat you RIGHT, pursue you, date you, be a gentleman to you, fight for you, be passionately in love with you, treat you amazingly well, then you will hold off AS LONG AS YOU CAN with giving him the “cookie”,  in the wise words of Steve Harvey.  Right when a man gets the “cookie”, they typically stop trying, they stop impressing, they stop woeing, they stop being “amazing.”  When a women holds off sex until marriage or a set time, (e.g, 1.5 years)  she is ensuring that her suitor will evolve into a man that is a successful husband.  I think of abstinence not as much of an issue regarding morality, that’s part of it I guess, but more I see that teaching abstinence until marriage ensures the man to become the best man that he can be, kinda like a boot camp which teaches a boy to become a man.  He has to work hard and be consistent with his love effections with his girlfriend, in order to be granted the prize.  If every women in the whole world waited for 2 years until she made love with her man, you would not believe how much the male gender would EVOLVE, we would see a totally HIGHER quality of MEN come out of the works.  Frankly, I think men are  quite unevolved in terms of their quality and character and I think premature sex in a relationship is the # 1 cause that has kept men from evolving into gentleman.  A womans Virginity is the most powerful tool given to us to create a man into a gentleman.

Judgemental-  I think this word has a bad reputation.  There is a difference in between, being a truth teller and being judgemental.  There is a difference in between calling.” a spaid a spaid” and being “judgemental”.    If someone is truly judgemental in the purest form, they are just ignorant. But accurately judging and/or assessing a situation and speaking truth is not being judgmental.

Court Mandated-  Why are the courts allowed to mandate therapy, supervised parenting, etc.?  Does a judge really know what is going on?  Let’s be honest.   NO!!  A judge will mandate therapy or supervised parenting when he/she has talked to the family for maybe 15 minutes and the client is not allowed to talk to the judge except through the laywer?  wow…. crazy making.. Speaking of, I wish I was able to mandate therapy… If I could, I would be providing 100x better therapy.  For example, I have a 12 year old girl as a client who is coming to me for depression.  After the intake session, it is obvious to me that her Depression is caused by her father who is verbally abusing her.  I should be allowed to right out a referral where he needs to meet with me and I mandate him to do 3-5 parenting coaching sessions with me where I teach him to parent in an effective manner where he is not abusing his daughter with his words.  Also, I think CFI’s and PRE’s are not an effective way at mitigating these problems, I’m not sure what is though…

Confidentiality-  This word has kept me from providing effective therapy in a million and one ways, however I maintain it because I have to of course.  How has this word stopped me from providing effective therapy?  I have a client who is seeing me for Depression, she is a 28 year female and is living at home with her parents.  She is not working, she is not in school, and she receives free room and board with her family.  Her depression is caused because of privilege.  Her parents allow her to stay in the house and do nothing every day and does not require her to pay rent, work, or do chores.  Her parents are making her the WORST VERSION OF HER-SELF.  SO, NO MATTER WHAT I DO WITH HER IN THERAPY, HER DEPRESSION WILL NO CHANGE UNLESS SHE GETS A JOB AND STARTS WORKING.  However, with confidentiality, of course, I am not allowed to ever say any of these thoughts to my clients parents.  So I just get to watch my client getting worse and worse and my hands are tied and I cant do anything about it.

Calorie- We do not need to know how many calories we are eating, calories is just a man-made word that creates anxiety and paranio.  Yahweh did not create calories, we created calories and the word calorie has only created SHAME.  This word is the # 2 word that has caused eating disorders world wide.  JUST USE COMMON SENSE FOLKS!  a carrot is a carrot, a snickers is a snickers.  Hello?!

Nutrtion Facts- # 3 word/phrase that has caused eating disorders world wide.  Take these stupid stickers off of our food.

Online learning/school-  education is designed to be taught face to face.

Methadone/Soboxone-  So I would  NEVER TELL A CLIENT TO STOP TAKING THEIR METHADONE/SOBOXONE, but I think their has to be a better way to deal with detoxing.  Hmm, the word DETOX seems like the BEST answer here.

Addiction-  This word has caused millions of people to destroy their life.  The word addiction implies that someone has lost control of their life because of this substance and this substance has 100% taken control of their life.  The word addiction implies that someone almost lost their sense of free-will to choose whether they use or not, because their addicted.  While I do agree that addictions are real and are very powerful, I do not think that anyone can lose their sense of FREE WILL and I think anyone can break free from an addiction if they want to through DETOX. I am more comfortable with the word alcoholism than I am with the word addiction, because I think when someone hears they have an addiction it conditions them to believe they are physiologically dependent in a way that takes away their sense of free will.   Most addicts actually struggle with narcissism pathologically, the addiction and narcissism need to be treated equally.  Frankly, If we are going to be effective at healing addictions, I think we need to not give the word addiction so much power.   An addiction is a habit, and yes, your brain is addicted to the chemical, and yes its a habit and you can break it through detox.  Speaking of addictions, I think that every state should have a sober city/sober town where you can go to that city and there would be no alcohol in the whole city.   But it needs to be a prominent city that people would enjoy living in, not some rural town that is in the middle of know where.  For example, in Colorado there is this city called Castle Rock and I think Castle Rock would make an amazing “Sober City.”  Additionaly, detox is the way to go for most addictions and there are far too little detox centers around and far too many “premier in patient programs.”  Which are not effective as they could be because inpatient programs do not mirror regular life and so the client goes back to regular life and does not have the skills necessary to over come their addiction.  When addiction treatment is at its best, we will establish sober living homes all around town where people can move into these community houses if they are wanting to get clean.  Why don’t we have those now? Because sober living homes are not money makers, inpatient mental health centers are big money makers…

Home Depot- Let’s get back to small stores, like ace hardware, these big stores are a little over rated.

Money-  Why do we spend money making pennies and then on the other side of the world we have babies starving to death?  not right.  When I drive by the Denver mint I just get a grose taste in my mouth thinking of that.   Why do we spend all this money, billions of dollars making money??  pennies, nickels, quarters, dollars, etc?  In place of all that money all we need is a debit card??  And, why do we have to have all these cards in our wallet?  Can’t our drivers license, social security card, and debit card be linked to one card?  CRAZY wild hair idea Kelly?!   You see, our world will not change anything, because “that’s the way we have always done things and no one will entertain the idea of doing things differently.”  even though, what were doing now makes NO SENSE.   Truthfully, all we need is a debit card for money.  The only place we need money like bills, coins, etc, is in our schools for when we are teaching our children about money and the value of a dollar.  Kids should be able to use money and learn the value of a dollar.

Speaking of a DOLLAR, every town needs to have a dollar store…

non-profit- this word is a lie, I am transitioning this therapy practice to a non-profit, but I don’t want to use that word because its not true.  I think every company just needs to have fair and equitable prices..

Fitness Centers- I think fitness centers create shame, instead of having all of these fitness centers, why don’t we turn the fitness centers into rec centers that has free dance classes and free recreational sports that you can sign up for.  Speaking of, I do not think that we should be paying for recreational sports, I think recreational sports for all ages should be volunteer based.  Competitive sports is an entirely different story.  Grand idea Kelly?  Where do we get the volunteers?   I think that every high school student should start out with being required to volunteer and give back to the community before they get the opportunity to have paid work.  I think that before a student can graduate from high school, they should have to have 100 community service hours and they can get these hours in any way that they choose.  Additionally, I think most adults would be open to volunteering as well if it meant that they got to participate in free sports and dance classes.  I think all kids and adults need to have access to  free recreational sports such as kick ball, sand volley ball, soft ball, soccer, etc.  I think every town should have free access to a recreational center and a library.

Museum- I think these are really over-rated!!  Instead of spending all this money building museums, parks, amusement parks, malls, etc, lets build more reservoirs in every city.  I think every city should have access to several lakes and reservoirs where they can go swimming, boating, skiing, etc.

“no motorized boats” – once again, dumb rules rule this world!  Why can’t we have motorized boats in our reseviours?  Speaking of reseviors, being that I looooooove the idea of rituals, I think this would be a pretty amazing ritual.  I see Saturdays as a day to be SOCIAL and SUNDAYS ARE A DAY OF REST AND TO SPEND SOME TIME WITH FAMIYL AND YAHWEH.  With this being said, I think Saturdays should be our social day and every one in town either meets at a local beach, park, or a culdesac for a time of socializing, connecting, eating good food, playing a game of kick-ball, softball, etc and dancing (at night.).  So on Saturdays, everyone in the town gathered up together.  12-4 beach and rec sports, 4-6 dinner, 6-10 community dance.  Everyone pitches in and brings a dish to share.   Warning: Wild Hair Idea here.  🙂  For the beach time, I would have it where each family had a “beach flag” and on one side of the beach flag it said, “Family Time” and on the other side of the beach flag it said; “the more, the merrier”.  So when you were at the beach, if you just wanted to spend time with your family, you would hand the family time side and no one would bother you if you just wanted to be with your family.  But if your group wanted to meet more people and liked the idea of meeting more people you could put “the more the merrier” side up which would signal to anyone walking the beach that your group was up for additional company.  I think we all need to break out of our comfort zone socially speaking and this would be an excellent way to do just that.

Administrative work- All providers, doctors, therapists, psychiatrists, etc, etc, etc all have to do a lot of administrative work for billing procedures and also to reduce the risk of liability.  This is valuable time that should not be spend doing these mundane tasks.   The more time we are spending with administrative work, the less quality our service is.  For therapists for example, the worst therapists are the therapists who are taking notes for the whole session, but golly gee, if they ever get sued, there thick paper trail will save them.  This is really sad.   Instead of doing all of this paperwork, why don’t we just audio record all of our sessions.   Additionally, providers should not feel a need to document to protect themselves legally speaking. This goes back to the disclaimer word choice, patients need to be responsible for their own choices.  Why are we always looking for someone else to blame?  We need to be teaching in our high schools about making wise educated personal choices, understanding risks, and assuming personal responsibility when you make a certain choice.

jury duty

Toy Room- why do we have houses where there is a room just devoted to toys!! Okay, so toy rooms are not all so bad!!  Just the toy rooms that are prevalent in our society. Frankly, when I walk into a preschool I always think to myself, I wish my kiddos could have a play area like this!  Wooden blocks, wooden toys, musical instruments, legos, dolls, art supplies galore, etc.  Speaking of dolls, boys need to play with dolls just as much as girls do.  Dolls are an excellent toy to nurture the quality of empathy and care giving.  If a  boy can learn how to take care of his baby doll, that will be excellent practice for when he is a Dad!  Also, young men need to be just as qualified to baby-sit as young women.

Violent Video Games-  disclaimer, video games are not all bad, some video games are actually a great way to teach humility and have some fun too!  When my son is playing mega man and he keeps hitting the wrong buttons and getting frusterated with himself, he is learning about humility. 🙂

“Go to Your Room!”  I don’t think that kids need their own room, this can create a little too much indepedency and loneliness and depression.  Instead there should just be one room for girls and one room for boys.  (That is is you are wanting a bigger family.)

New York Times Non Fiction Self Improvement Best Seller

While I think fiction books are great for the best seller list, i don’t think non fiction self improvement books are good for this list. Because if I want to write a best seller, I can’t just come up with excellent content that is summarized in under 1,000 words.  I somehow have to add 200 pages of bull shit to get people interested in buying it.  meh….

Hardcover- wayste of resources

Food packaging labels- I bought a pack of freeze dried peaches and there was probably over 100 words on the packaging, not necessary!

Alarm

fences- these stupid things separate all of our yards and keep us disconnected and alone.  We do not need fences, we need more community.

gas? electric?  not plausible.

working lunch- every business needs to have a universal lunch break from 12-1 where everyone eats lunch together, and gets some walking time in.

Special Needs- these people have intuitive gifts and may very well just be late bloomers! Many sped kids are just late bloomers.  Speaking of special needs, just because a kid cant sit still for 8 hours does not mean he is sped.  Our schools set children up for failure in this department by not having gym every day and kiddos need longer recesses.

GYM every other day- so kiddos need gym every single day and running should be a class that is taught to children in 9th grade.  Every 9th grade should be in running class where they have to run for 5x a week for 20 minutes.  Running is a basic right and everyone needs to learn how to run.   If everybody learned how to run in school and could use running as an outlet, we will cure hundreds of other problems.

Battery

selfie

pimp

STEM Careers- While some stem careers are critical and important, I dont think that all stem careers are all their cracked out to be. I think careers in STEM create traits of narcissism and sociopathology because we are connecting 100X more to technology and less with people.  What do I mean by sociopathology?  When we are trained in technology careers, I believe our brain starts to function like a computer and a robot more so and less like a real human being with feelings, insecurities, hurts, emotions, etc.

Sociopath/psychopath- These 2 words create judgement and misinformation.  For example, people equate the word sociopath or psychopath with a killer.  This could not be farther from the truth.  People believe such myths about what it means to be a sociopath and/or psychopath.  When we are talking about sociopathology, its important to understand that sociopathology is on a spectrum just like everything else.  I think there is still so much information regarding sociopathology that we do not understand.  There was a book written called, confessions of a sociopath and it was written by a Mormon sunday school teacher who was also a lawyer by trade.  This book was fascinating, although I did not finish it.  When we are talking about sociopathology, we are simply talking about someone who may not have an emotional sense of remorse and guilt and they do not care emotionally speaking if they hurt someones feelings.  For example, A sociopath logically knows that lying is wrong, cheating is wrong, killing someone is wrong, but a sociopath may not feel emotionally speaking remorse and/or guilt if they were to participate in those acts, even though they know logically speaking that those acts are 100% wrong.  So, there are many sociopaths that would NEVER DO ANY OF THOSE ACTS. BECAUSE THEY KNOW LOGICALLY THAT THOSE ACTS ARE WRONG, EVEN THOUGH IF THEY COMMITTED THOSE ACTS, they would not feel remorse or guilt after the act was committed.

Brilliant/Genius- You can not judge someone intelligence by testing, grades, or writings. These two words create narcissism.

murder mystery- glorify violence

horror movies- glorify violence, a little violence is fine, some drama movies, but I think violence is glorified in our culture in ever way..

Cigarettes- So personally I hate cigarettes, there killers.  🙂 But sometimes I suppose they can be kinda fun! (maybe)  In my dream world there would need to be regulations on the amount of nicotine that goes in a cigarette and they would only sell the cigarettes with low levels of nicotine.  Also, you could only buy a pack a week.  After you run out, buck up, wait a couple days and you can buy your pack for the next week.

 

not tested on animals- animals need not to be tested on, that’s ridiculous.  Also, I think there should be animal rights where animals get to live to a certain age before being slaughtered.

Employment Counselor- ??? instead of employment counselors, I think we need to be called accountability counselors, are job is to hold you accountable and make sure that you are submitting applications every week. Speaking of, I need to go submit several applications for my clients.

Speaking of Accountability, I think a great husband, wife, therapist, boss, supervisor, manager is someone who holds you accountable in a beautiful way.

ACCOUNTABILITY IS B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L, (frankly, We all NEED waaaaay more accountability in our life.)  Speaking of Accountability, I am going to take a break from blog writing for 30 days.

Health insurance=  (I know, I’m repaeting myself.   health insurance creates a middle man and because of that, prices are a lot higher for health costs.  We need to nix health insurance and have the cost directly billed by the medical center.

Case manager

pool- I think we should nix chlorine pools and just have salt water pools or natural water pools.

Dissociative Identity Disorder

Satantic Ritual Abuses

natural flavors- teas are SO much better when they dont have this ingredient in them.

schools fees- today I learned that in Ghana all public schools cost money. We need to live in a world where schools are paid for by our taxes so it is essentially free k-12.  Everyone has a right to a good education irregardless to their socioeconomic level.

Pharmaseutical/pharmacy- I think we need to cut back our use of pharmaseuticals by a lot!  We need to try using the medicine that was designed to be medicine (read my last blog!)  Sun is the best antidepressant out there!   (and you can still use sunblock)  and yes some pharmaseuticals are intended to be medicine, but a lot of drugs that we have invented were never never never intended to be drugs and they are causing far more harm than they are good..

 

models- # 4 word that causes eating disorders…..and narcissism world wide. our models need to ALL be at a healthy weight and we need to have a spectrum of beauty represented.

Thanks again for listening to  my crazy and sometimes stupid “Kelly dreaming RANT!”   BTW, As you can see, many of my words have a religious/spiritual content to them.  I would never want to take away any of the world religions at all as I see world religions possess the potential to be amazing,  incredible, and beautiful.  However I do think that in order for religion to genuinely help people, we need to make religion healthy.    I’m signing off for now and frankly I don’t feel like leaving you with a gluten free 5 ingredient or less recipe, so if that’s what you want, come back for my next post. It is way past my bedtime so good night, may you have Sweet Dreams tonight.

Warm Regards,

Kelly Johnson, MA, LPC

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Family of Origin Wounds Part II

Hello!  I’ve been quite busy here the last couple weeks, so blogging has been put on the back burner:) I will get to part II of Family of Origin Wounds in this blog, but before I do that I must share a story.   Last week I was looking at my website page regarding eating disorders and there was a statement on my page that said something a long the lines of, “there are temptations all around Denver to side tract you from your weight loss goals so you must be prepared!”  When I read that I was SHOCKED!  WHAT?!  I never wrote that!  I would NEVER say that in a million years.  Food is AMAZING, food is GREAT, God gave us food for our enjoyment, not to restrict it.  How did that sentence get put in there?  Then it dawned on me, I hired an SEO company several years back and they went on my website and made changes to my content to optimize my SEO.  Word from the Wise: All Therapists, never allow SEO companies to change your content.   (or make sure you pre-approve all changes before they put it on your website.)

Anyways, more about Family of Origin Wounds, the last few blogs were just cut and pasted from a book that I was working on, but for this second part I’m going to shoot it straight from the heart because I can’t find the computer chord for my computer and I don’t have my book content to copy and paste from. (probably a good thing actually.)

So how do we heal from our family of origin wounds?   For starters, be honest about your wounds and be honest about how you have wounded others as well.  What did you need from you parents emotionally that you did not receive?  In what ways did your parents hurt your feelings growing up?  Pay attention to these answers, write a list of the painful memories that you carry, what are the questions that you wanted your parents to ask you that they never did?  Shy away from glossing over these questions.  Additionally, if you are a parent, be honest with yourself about how you have wounded your children.  When we are comfortable in our own skin, we can look at this stuff head on and we don’t feel a need to justify or minimize it.   For example, as a parent you may say; I have blessed my children by;____________________________________________.  I have hurt my children or enabled my children by; __________________________________.  The more you can be open about this stuff, the more it will help YOU to heal from your own family of origin wounds.

There are many excellent books on this topic, for a list of some of the books I would recommend please click on the link here.   Also, if you read the book “Toxic Parents” and think to yourself, “Wow, I am a toxic parent!”  I want you to know that wounded people, wound other people.  So if you are a Toxic Parent, please give yourself some love because more than likely your parent(s) were a toxic parent as well.  BTW, just because your a toxic parent does NOT mean that you don’t LOVE your child very much, it just means that you can be toxic in how you parent and you need to learn some skills and tools to help you to become a better parent.  🙂  An INCREDIBLE parent is a parent that recognizes their toxic as a parent and get’s help.

As I am wrapping up here, its time to share with you another “Gluten Free 5 ingredient or Less Recipe” So here is a recipe for a copy cat cilantro rice recipe.  (Because cilantro rice at Chipotle is simply A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!

 

Warm Regards,

Kelly Johnson, MA, LPC

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Making Sense of Family of Origin Wounds

So, if you had a wonderful childhood, you may want to skip this blog.   But if you didn’t, please read on.   🙂

What defines your identity?

Growing up, most of us defined our identity by our popularity status, academic achievements, sports awards, who we dated, and most importantly, most of us define our identity by what our parents told us about who we are or perhaps what they did not tell us about who we are.

Most of us associate our sense of identity by what we had done, not by who we are.  So, when we achieve, perform, win, excel, we feel good about ourselves, however when we fail, lose, and are defeated we feel lousy about ourselves.  Therefore, our sense of identity is like the house that was built upon a sand foundation.  When the storms and rain come, surely the house may come crashing down. Our identity rather needs to be based on something greater than our achievements, status, success, or lack thereof, our identity needs to be based on a firm foundation and understanding of who we are.  Take out a sheet of paper right now, write your name on the top of it.  Then for 15 minutes, write down anything that comes to your mind when you think of the question; how do you see yourself?  I want you to write down reflections that depict how you see yourself right now, not how you want to see yourself.  I want you also to be brutally honest, say what you really think.

The answer to this question may shed light on the messages that you heard growing up about who you are.   These answers also shed light into whether or not you may have a Family of Origin Wound. To further explore this issue, on the back side of your sheet of paper answer the following questions.

What did you hear growing up from your parents regarding your identity and self portrait?  Sarah is ________________. (write down the first ten words/phrases that come to your mind in terms of how your parents saw you.)

Did I feel invisible in my childhood? Yes, No, Maybe. A little.  Explain.

Did I feel comfortable talking about my feelings w/my parents?  Yes, No, Maybe. A little.  Explain.

Did I feel really cared for and loved by my parents?  Yes, No, Maybe. A little.  Explain.

 

Disclaimer: knowing something and feeling something are two different things.  So, you may have always known that your parents loved you, but maybe your didn’t feel loved by your parents.

All of these scenarios from your childhood give us more insight into the development of your identity and personality as an adult.

What does the word FAMILY mean to you?  Family is___________.

Family is such a loaded word and it can mean something entirely different to each person.  Family can be a source of strength and love and family can also be a source of deep pain and hurt.  Many of us may have Family of Origin wounds that we are not aware of.  When these Family of Origin wounds are not acknowledged, they wounds can cause Depression, Anxiety, and Relationship Difficulties in adulthood.

What is a Family of Origin Wound?  A Family of Origin Wound is an emotional wound that is left from our biological, adoptive mother, father, or the person that was responsible for raising us, where maybe made us feel like we were; “invisible, defective, and inadequate” or on the other side of the spectrum, made us feel like we were “too special, too amazing, golden child, and/or cannot do anything wrong”  Additionally, a family of origin wound can be also be a wound in which our parent(s) did not teach us an essential life skill necessary for a successful life, such as learning how to interact with people, initiating socializing, and/or taking feedback.    I have created a “diagram” to help show how our family of origin wounds can affect us in adult hood, however I will save that for next time because this blog will be waaaaaay to long if I don’t break this up a little bit.  With that being said, it looks like it’s time to share with you another gluten free five ingredient or less recipe, so here is a recipe for; Orange You Glad It’s Not Green Smoothie! … Because I just LOVE Smoothie’s!

Warm Regards,

Kelly Johnson, MA, LPC

“Create the kind of life right now that you will L-O-V-E.”

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