When we find ourselves getting angry, we often overlook other emotions we might be feeling. Anger can be such an overwhelming emotion that this understandable. Anger takes over our body, making us feel alert, tense, short of breath, other sensations. Anger also takes over our mind, making it hard to think about anything else. Checking in with ourselves in the moment of anger can be impractical. If we can better track our emotions throughout the day, we may be gain insight into what types of things push of over the edge: bring us from irritated to angry. There may not be one thing in our day that makes us angry, sometimes we have a roller coaster of a day and that last big hill is just too much. What are some emotions that are often a part of you day? Maybe a lot of things make you feel slightly irritated throughout the day. Maybe you feel tired so much that it’s hard to deal with stressful events. Maybe you’re really sad about something and it comes out as anger. We can think about anger as an iceberg. When you’re on a boat, you only see the top of the iceberg and it doesn’t look that big. That’s the anger. Sometimes we only show the tip of our emotions, or that may be the only part we feel and are aware of. When you look beneath the surface, however, we are more complicated than that. We have a lot of things going on in our lives that are really hard to deal with and it’s too hard to handle all those other feelings. The hardest part is that we may not even realize that we’re doing this. It can be so helpful to learn how to increase Emotional Intelligence (EQ). This is an understanding of our emotions and the ability to perceive other’s emotions. EQ can dramatically change our interactions with people. When you know how you’re feeling and what to do with those emotions and you can read how other’s are feelings, you have the opportunity to see the entire iceberg. Clarity comes with EQ. Some people say that it is an inherent ability, but here at The Center for Healing and Change, we can give you tools to increase your EQ and start to have better relationships.
This site can give you more information about EQ.
Wishing you clarity,
Courtney Crotty, Graduate Intern