I Looooooove Hearing People Stutter!

If you have a speech stutter please know your speech stutter is God-given and you are created to stutter, so stutter on friend!  If you are a friend of someone who stutters and you are wanting to know how to talk about the stuttering with your friend, here are some ideas to get you started.  🙂

  1. Tell you friend to let their stutter out and that you like when you hear them stutter because it means they are being emotionally honest with their own organic thoughts vs. changing their thoughts to appear more fluent.
  2. Look into their pupils while their stuttering, encourage them  to look into your eyes while their stuttering as well.
  3. NEVER NEVER NEVER finish their words for them, people do this ALL THE TIME thinking it is helpful, it is not.  The person NEEDS to stutter and let them stutter and let them take their time to get the words out.  
  4. Ask your friend about his or her stutter like you would about any other aspect of their life.  Most stutterers like to talk about their stutter sometimes and they feel closer to people when other people show care for wanting to learn about their stutter.  This is not a one time conversation, this is a recurring conversation through out the whole friendship.  If you stutter, your stutter is a part of your story and personality.  Your stutter is B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L!  If someone does not care to get to know that part of your story, you do not want to be friends with them.  The BEST of friends will care about getting to know all of the parts of your story.   One way to get the conversation going is by saying; bring me into your world with your stutter?  or is there anything you want to talk about regarding your stuttering journey?  or What questions do you want me to ask you about your stutter?  Stuttering is a journey towards self acceptance and it is a beautiful journey and it is designed to be shared with others.
  5.  As a friend of a person who stutters you may want to ask your friend if you could put in some voluntary stutters while you are with them, so they feel more comfortable to stutter in front of you.  A good friendship is summed up by complete understanding, truth, acceptance, and comfort.  What better way to provide these things to your friends than by asking them about their stutter and you stuttering when you are with them?  I cant think of one:)  Tell your friend that you looooove to hear them stutter.  Why? Because stuttering is a conscience choice and it grows courage, when someone allows themselves to stutter, they are choosing authenticity and courage.

All for now, have a fabulous day and BE BLESSED.

 

Kelly Johnson, ma, lpc

 

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10 types of medicine that are A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!

Top Ten List for 10 types of medicine that are A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!

(But our world would never know it, because were too obsessed with stupid pharmaceuticals, and we haven’t realized where the real liquid gold is at.)

 

  1. Flowers are MEDICINE
  2. The SuHn is medicine
  3. Our hands are medicine.
  4. Nature is medicine.
  5. Spices and Herbs are medicine.  Tea Bags are also medicine.  (Try sniffing a mint tea bag.)
  6. Crayons are medicine.
  7. Dancing is medicine
  8. Food is medicine
  9. Vulnerability is Medicine
  10. Drugs and Alcohol can be medicine.   (only when used occasionally )  FYI, I am not talking about medical marijuana,  I am 100% against medical marijuana because high uses of marijuana really damages our ability to feel emotions and express emotions and I think people who use medical marijuana start to decompensate in many other ways psychologically.  Marijuana I dont believe was created to be used that much..

time for a recipe, shoot I got nothing..  Can I leave you with a song instead?  Last blog I talked about the sin of evangelism and it made me think of this song called; take me to church by Hosier, I looooove how it talks in this song about how we often times get fresh poison each week when we go to church.  I also really like how it talks about how there are no absolutes in life and the importance of confessing our sins.  All for now, I hope you enjoy it.  🙂

 

Warm Regards

Kelly Johnson, ma, lpc

 

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Are you an evangelical in recovery? 

Healing & Confessing From the Sin of Evangelism

If you answered yes to this question, if you are an evangelical in recovery, that means that you accept the statements written below as true and you are wanting healing from your evangelical way of thinking and/or your evangelical upbringing.  If you grew up in this type of environment I believe you were brainwashed to believe certain things about God that are not true and consequently you will pass on this abusive way of thinking about God unless you go through the healing process listed below or something similar.   These ways of thinking about God were and are abusive and Yahweh has no part in this.  Evangelism is a sin and if someone wants to have a good relationship with others and with Yahweh, this sin must be confessed.   What is the sin of evangelism?  I will share that with you in this article, but I don’t feel like typing much, so I’m going to do a top 5 list.  (Typing with a cast on is kinda meh…)

Top 5 Reasons Why Evangelism is a sin and needs to be achniowledged and confessed.

  1. Evangelism creates narcissism because it wrongly teaches that people who know jesus are saved and people who do not know jesus are LOST.  So, it creates this feeling of specialness and privaledge for the person that “personally has a relationship with Jesus.”  Evangelism also creates narcissism because an evangelical believes they have this special access to God.  This belief is 100% erroneous.  Do you really think God is going to lead you to a job, a spouse, a neighborhood to live in, but she is not going to save a baby from dying from starvation?
  2. Evangelism creates abuse and sexism because evangelical men think there women must submit to them and that they have the leadership role in the home.  evangelical men, unlike other men see women more like; just home makers and sex objects because evangelical men does not think there woman could EVOLVE INTO A LEADER, PASTOR, TEACHER, ETC. bread maker, etc.  (whatever her life calling is.)  These man sometimes will make their women purposefully feel small and will only expect them to be a home maker.  Men and woman are called to empower their partner to evolve and ful-fill their GOD GIVEN CALLING TO EMPOWER AND INSPIRE their significant other to reach their God-given potential.  Most women in evangelical circles are CREATED FOR SO MUCH MORE than what they are currently doing, but the sin of “women and men have different roles” and sexism has stopped them from reaching their god given potential.    Most women who are home makers in evangelical marriages feel UNFULFILLED  in their purpose and they mistakenly think this is their sin.  Women, I am here to tell you this is NOT your sin, you feel unfulfilled for a god given reason.  You feel unfulfilled because your beliefs have put you into a box and do not encourage and allow you to grow into the woman God Has Created You To Be.  God does NOT put people in boxes, people do.  God has created everyone to be a rudy rutigeer.  dream big, go after the impossible, feel your fears and overcome them(side note, that movie is one of my all time favorite movies.)
  3. evangelism teaches that the bible is more inspired than your God-given conscience.  This is 1000% blastemy.  People said the bible was inspired, Yahweh did not say this.
  4. evangelism teaches that divorce is against gods will.  THERE ARE MILLIONS OF PEOPLE WHO STAY IN ABUSIVE ENVIRONEMENTS BECAUSE THEY THINK GOD IS AGAINST DIVORCE.  Reality Check.  🙂  God is NOT AGAINST DIVORCE necessarily, GOD IS AGAINST ABUSE.  If you are in an abusive environment in your marriage, you need to walk away.  (By all means, counseling can heal a marriage, so exhaust all other options that are available to you, before you leave your marriage.)   Sometimes God is against divorce and she needs the couple to fight for their marriage and heal their marriage.
  5. evangelism teaches you can grow spiritually and every evangelical is on this conquest to have a deeper spiritual relationship with god and people idolize other people for their relationship status with god.  When in reality, this type of stuff is  just spiritual narcissism most of the time.
  6. evangelism teaches stupidity in SO MANY WAYS.  Reality Check- scientific fact proves the earth is 4.5 billion years old.

 

5. Evangelism teaches superstition.  People attrubrute job offers, relationships, marriages, etc. to gods blessings, but the reality is god gave us all FREE WILL.  99% OF THE STUFF evangelicals think god caused, god is wanting to say back to you, that’s free will, stop spiritualuitizing everything.

6. evangelism causes people to feel like THEY ARE BETTER THAN THE SO-CALLED LOST.  When the reality is, the so called “lost”, knows god much better than most of the faithful.

If you are struggling with this sin, get on your knees right now and confess this sin to Yahweh and also confess this sin to your closest friends and family members who have been effected by it.  If you do struggle with this sin, more than likely you have struggled with this sin for your whole life, so you are engrained to think like this.  So, overcoming from this sin will take hard work and it will probably be a year or more process of getting on your knees every day and nurturing humility.

Whether you struggle with this sin or not, getting in the regular habit of getting on your knees each day and putting your hands out, palms up, and just sitting in silence or praying can heal you tremendously emotionally speaking.  Please do NOT feel like you need to pray, often times the BEST prayer is just sitting in silence for 20 minutes each day.  Because, when we allow ourselves to sit in silence, that’s when our god given conscience can start working again.

what do I mean by that?  When we sit in silence for a while, we may start to feel conviction if there are sins in our life that we have not addressed.  Conviction is typically any feelings of remorse, shame, denial, and guilt.  Contrary to popular belief, these feelings are beautiful feelings and we need to honor these feelings in our life.  Well, I must be going now, I’m going to go for a morning stroll with my walker.  But before I go, let me leave you with another gluten free five ingredient or less recipe.  This recipe only calls for 2 ingredients and it is simply amazing.

Recipe

Hamburger Delicious

2 hamburger patties diced up

1 big tomatoe diced up.

Mix both ingredients in a bowl and season with salt and pepper.

Namaste 🙂

© Kelly Johnson

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Car Scream, Car Talk, and Emotional Healing

About 7 years ago, I invented a new therapeutic strategy called car scream or car talk.  You see, we were created to express our emotions, vent, share our insecurities, and sometimes SCREAM really loud, Yahweh gave us the ability to scream for a reason.  However, in our passive aggressive world, we are never allowed to scream and we are told that screaming is BAD,  (To which I declare BULL-SHIT.)   So let me explain to you how car scream and car talk works.  For starters, program an alarm that goes off on your phone for 3x a week while you are driving home from work.

Your car is like that of a remote therapy office, you can scream, yell, cuss, cry, say whatever you want to say, and there is NO JUDGEMENT.  You see, for all of us, our feelings are like that of a pressure cooker, and when we don’t develop the practice of regularly expressing our emotions every day, our emotions will start to build like that of a pressure cooker and we will start to do other negative habits as a way of dealing with our emotions. e.g; drinking, over-working, maybe exercising too much, using drugs, and/or being mean to other people in our life.  Some people may say; exercising is a good thing, what’s wrong with that?  When you are using exercise as your only way of dealing with your emotions, if you are married, exercising has become your mistress and your marriage will feel strained because their is no real emotional connection.  (btw, a real emotional connection with your spouse may or may not include some good feisty fights from time to time.  (all fights are not bad, some are goooooood.)

So, what is the importance of car scream/car talk?  To teach you how to be emotionally honest with your own soul. 

WE ALL need to learn how to be emotionally honest with our own soul.

With car talk/scream this is how it works, you set your phone alarm to go off at the exact same time you would normally be starting to drive home from work.  So, if your drive home is 20 minutes, you would do this exercise for 20 minutes 2-3x week.  When the alarm goes off, that means you probably just got in your car for your drive home.  Take out a little notepad that you leave in your car and jot down the first 5 things that are on your mind that are bothering you, hurting your feelings, or stressing you out. Also, write down people’s names that you feel like you need to confront or talk to (be 100% emotionally honest.)  I am going to show you an example from a make believe female client that is in her mid 40’s and married.

Shelby: for car scream she writes down; my husband frank, conflict, sexual relationship, co-worker sally, co worker sarae, friend lanna, brother bobby.  So, for the next 20 minutes she is instructed to take this list and go through it one by one and yell, scream, cuss, and be 100% HONEST about everything that comes to mind.  When I do this exercise with my clients, normally at first I will do the first one with them and I will pretend to be them, its an incredibly vulnerable exercise and there are normally a lot of tears.  The goal is to be 100% uncensored, so here is Shelby’s car talk/car scream.

SHELBY

FUCK YOU FRANK, fuck you frank, screaming, fuck you frank, I fucking hate you.  fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you

silence

more silence

screaming, I hate you.  Why don’t you ever care about my emotions?  Except for when you want to have sex..  then you start acting like your really curious, because you know how I work.  YOU ARE SO FUCKING FAKE!!!!  YOU HAVE NEVER CARED ABOUT MY EMOTIONS,  it was all bull-shit..  bull shit.  fucking bull shit.  fuck you. fuck off.

FUCK OFF.

When I do this exceroze in the office, I would instruct her to keep saying these things over and over again until she felt like the emotion passed and she felt a feeling of relief.  This dialogue would probably last about 5-10 minutes.  If she has not experienced a feeling of relief, she should NOT move onto the next topic/person.

Sally, you need to learn how to confront me! fuck.  I can tell you are so pissed at me because my performance at work is slow, but you are just irritated all the fucking time, your annoyed,  short, distant, but yet you will never confront me.  never. never. never. never.  fuck you.  fuck you . fuck you. Just tell me, Shelby, you are really slow with your reports and you are not measuring up to what is expected of you, you NEED to get your typing rate up to 75 wpm by the start of the next month, otherwise I will have to can you.  Speak the truth to me, I can handle it.  I need to hear it.  badly.

I know my performance sucks.  Sarae, stop being so fucking spiritual around me, no offense, but I’m not your religion, I’m agnostic, and I find it really did-respectful when you talk about god all the time.  Do you have any idea how disrespectful that is?  

Do you even have the faintest idea HOW DIS-RESPECTFUL THAT IS?!   It is

soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

dis respectful.

How would you feel if I talked your head off about agnosticism and I gave you 30 minutes of unsolicited advice about it?  I bet that would drive you bat shit crazy……  Hmmm, that’s probably how I feel.  lanna, I fucking hate how FAKE you are ALL THE FUCKING TIME… You are FAKE all the time.  You disrespect me and dislike me and you will not tell me that, that pisses me off. I fucking haaaaaaate how fake you are

all                                                                         the                                                                    time

Can you stop being so fucking HAPPY ALL THE TIME  that shit isn’t real. just be you. be sad sometimes. be really depressed sometimes. be insecure sometime.. pain is good, pay attention to it.   Bobby, for the last 5 years I have hated having a relationship with you.  you never ask me questions about myself, you monopolize the conversation, and you are just flat out 100% selfish..  yuck..    Honestly, I don’t want to have a relationship with you anymore.

There you have it, car scream.  It’s not the real deal, because I never type my car scream with clients, but you can get the picture.  Try it on yourself, I think you will like it.  Learning to be emotionally honest with your own soul is imperative.   Do you see how I cussed a lot doing car scream?   Why so?  Because most people cuss in their mind a lot, but never cuss out-loud.  So if I am trying to get you to become emotionally honest, I must get you to do some cussing while your doing your car scream.  Of course, if you don’t cuss in your thoughts, don’t do it in car scream.  The goal with this is to get your REAL THOUGHTS OUT OF YOUR HEAD and in the process you are learning how to be emotionally honest with your own soul.

Also, doing car talk regularly for 3 months can also have a huge positive effect on healing your marriage.  Why?  Because people will turn their spouse into their own personal emotional stomping grounds or their car talk/car scream and that IS NOT FAIR TO YOUR SPOUSE.   You need to learn how to be honest with your own soul first, before you can learn how to express yourself yourself emotionally with your spouse.

In closing up shop here tonight, let me leave you with an excellent marriage communication strategy.  If you want to improve your communication with you spouse tenfold, try this exercise.   Let’s say, you are furious at your spouse and you need to talk to her/him.  Before you attempt to have this conversation, do car scream first, get evvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvverything out during car scream.  Then, when you actually go up to your spouse to have this conversation, you will be able to HAVE A MUCH BETTER CONVERSATION and you will be much more effective at communicating because you were able to take “the pressure valve off emotionally speaking” by doing car scream first.  Goodnight, sorry no recipe for tonight, I’m pretty tuckered and my bed is calling my name.

Namaste 🙂

© Kelly Johnson

 

 

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What was the purpose of Jesus, Mohhamed, and John Smith?

Wow, this post is already off to a feisty start:)  I am mentioning Jesus, Mohammed, and John Smith all in the same post    ooofta.

I am going to attempt to answer some pretty controversial questions in terms of what the purpose was of these individual’s lives.  I reserve the right to be wrong of course….  I believe Jesus was the coming messiah that was talked about in the old testament.  Why was Jesus’ ministry necessary?  I believe we may have a little bit of a premature understanding of the purpose of Jesus’ life.

I believe Jesus came to break the old law, and he painted a new picture for a relationship with Yahweh, lastly he also came historically speaking at the time he did because I believe God was becoming VERY VERY narcissistic and callous in the old testament and God knew that for her/his heart to heal, she needed faith to be about other people in the world EXCEPT FOR HERSELF for a very loooooooooong time. (e.g. 2,000 years.)  Jesus’ birth, life, and dying on the cross took the focus off of Yahweh and put it onto jesus for over 2,000 years.

In doing this, Yahweh’s narcissistic and image obsessed heart that was developed in the old testament was able to heal emotionally and He was able to re-develop humility, nurturance, sensitivity, curiosity, and insecurity.  (which were all traits that I believe Yahweh may have lost in the O.T.)   I believe Yahweh purposefully gave Jesus God like powers so the focus would be taken off of himself and onto somebody else.

What was the purpose of Mohamed’s life and ministry?  I think Mohammed came as well to take the focus off of Yahweh as well, so once again yahweh’s narcissistic heart could heal and become sensitive, compassionate and stern again.  However, I do not believe that Mohammed was a messiah like Jesus was, instead I believe he was just a regular man who equally loved God and sinned against God.

I have read the Koran extensively and when I read the Koran it is quite obvious to me that Mohammed was visited or tormented by a genie or more commonly known as a demon.  That does not mean that Mohammed was an evil person, quite the opposite, I think God chose Mohammed for a reason.  Why is this distinction important?  Because I believe that Yahweh was TRYING TO TEACH US HOW TO DEVELOP spiritual DISCERNMENT WITH Mohammed.  Just because someone is visited by an angel or a demon, DOES NOT  MEAN IT IS FROM YAHWEH.  Likewise, I believe that John Smith was also visited by a demon.  (spiritual demon’s are typically spirits that mimic God and act and sound exactly like God or sound very similar to God.

We all need to develop discernment in this way.  There are billions of people that talk about God, yet do not know Yahweh.  Furthermore, there are many non-religious folks that know Yahweh well, even though know one would know that or expect that.  Well all for now, I must be getting to bed now.  Good night everybody, sleep well.  🙂

Kelly Johnson, ma, lpc

P.S  When I use the words She and Herself in reference to Yahweh, I am simply talking about the ying yang aspects of Yahweh.  I believe Yahweh has the most beautiful blend of masculine and feminine traits and the word She is just the right word to describe Yahweh because She has He and She in it.  🙂

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Heal Your Narcissism By Getting a Job at Wal-Mart

Believe it or not, in addition to doing the other activities to heal narcissism I have talked about in my previous blogs, you can learn humility and heal your narcissism by giving up your high class job for one year, just one year

just one year

and getting a job instead at a place like Wal-Mart, McDonald’s, Target, Starbucks, and/or any other typical high school job.  Truthfully, I think every adult should do this ONCE IN THEIR ADULT LIFE CAREER AND IF YOU CHOOSE TO DO THIS, YOUR COMPANY SHOULD ALLOW YOU TO TAKE A PASS, WHERE YOU CAN GET YOUR JOB BACK AFTER THE YEAR.  🙂  This type of career transition can have a 100% impact on re-teaching you humility.  Sometime in my adult life, I will take a break from my career and work at a place like these.  I know, I know, you may be thinking this is a kinda a stupid idea, but hear me out before you judge.  I think standard high school jobs teach the value of hard work and humility waaaaaaaaay more than most other jobs.  In a typical high school job, you function kinda as a nobody, you work your ass off, and you get paid very little.  I think because of these factors, these jobs have the highest potential to teach humility and also have the potential to help heal narcissism. 

As I am closing up shop here, I thought I would leave you with another recipe, here is a recipe for Strawberry and Salmon Salad.

Ingredients

5 Strawberries cut up

Rasberry Vinagerett Dressing-1 tablespoon

6 ounces of Greens; Spinach or Steamed Kale

1/3 cup of almonds

1 piece of Salmon cooked

1/3 of a cucumber cut up

Combine all ingredients in a bowl and toss until mixed well.    ENJOY!

 

Namaste 🙂

Kelly Johnson, ma, lpc

P.S- Being that it is Sunday, I thought that I would bless you with a worship music song list.  I have created a worship music play list that I have became quite fond of.   By the way, even though I say this play list is worship music, which it is, science opens up our brains ability for worship FAR better than any music song list does.

 

 

 

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humility, honesty, blogging, prozac, and I am not attracted to you anymore.

Hey Ya’ll!  I’m back 🙂 So I have taken about a week break from blogging and it is unbelievable to me how much writing helps my overall mood.  I have much better days and I am in a waaaaaaaaay better mood when I write every day.  I guess writing is my prozac, so, for my sake and my children’s sake, it’s probably best that I blog 3-4x week.   So, what is the topic for tonight’s blog?  Let’s talk about humility. 

Can I make a confession to you?

 

 

 

I                                                               lie                                                                                     a lot. 

 

 

 

and I don’t like it, every time I do it, I kinda cringe on the inside…

(and you do too probably.)

Every time someone asks me; how are you?  And I respond with an auto-pilot “good”, I’m lying.  Every time I people-please, I lie.  Last weekend I was at the beach and a kid came up to me and asked me; Do you like kids?  To which I responded; “certainly.”  I was lying, it’s not that I flat out don’t like kids, I do like kids, but I also think that a high percentage of children in 1st world countries struggles with entitlement/spoiledness and so it’s fair to say that I kinda have a sour attitude towards a lot of kids. 

My daughter is in the 4th grade at Black Forest Hills Elementary School and she has pretty much had the same group of friends since the 1st grade.  There is one girl in particular out of this group that has always stood out to me as being genuine and kind.   Every time I hear my daughter talk about this friend, I always blurt out, you should have a play date with her!  I feel like our world is starving for people who are KIND. 🙂  I would love to go up to her parents and say; “You have done an amazing job as a parent, well done.” But, I’m sure if I did, she would most definitely think; “you don’t know me as a parent.”  But the truth is, I do.  When a child is kind, most often that is evidence of a really good Mom and/or Dad. 

Anyways, side story.  Back to the beach!  So, this kid asked me; do you like kids?  To which I lied and responded; “certainly”, then I thought about what I had said and realized, that was a lie, you like some kids and other kids drive you nuts!  So, I preceded to say to him, “I like kids who are humble.”  To which he said; helpful?  and I said “no, humble” and he said, what’s that?  

What’s that?

What’s that?

What is THAT?!

and I responded in my head; WHAT the HE double hockey sticks!?  How can you not know what HUMBLE is?

When he said that, something dawned on me.  I do like kids who are humble, but no

no

no

no

no kids even know what humble means today. 

I wonder what would happen if we gave a two-question quiz to every graduating senior in high school with the questions;

What is Humility?

What does it mean to be humble? 

I am really curious what these students would say. 

Humility is the BEST Quality in the Whole World!  (and it seems like

no    

one                                

is                           

humble, at least I cant find anyone.)

True story, if I had a friend come up to me and say; honestly, I’m really bad at parenting, I’m just clueless, I love my kids, but I have no clue what I am doing?  Would you help me?  That person would probably be my new favorite person in the whole world. You see, humility is so attractive! I would looooooooooooooooooooooooove to be around them all the time. (take that with a grain a salt, maybe once a week.)   I wish I had a parent in my own life who I trusted enough as a parent to be able to say that to and I would knowingly be able to get good advice from. 

I would rather hang out with a parent like that any day vs. a parent that acts like they have all their shit together and their just good at hiding their shit, that’s all.  Don’t be impressed by that, not even for a day, 99% of the time, it’s just a show and that “I’m the best mom show” that they put on, is their sin, not yours.   You who are honest about how much your life is a train wreck has far less sin than the parent who is in denial about their life or how bad of a parent they are, even though everybody in their life and then some probably thinks they’re the best parent ever! These people feel a need to put on the “I’m the best mom show” to overcompensate for their failures, insecurities, and inadequacies.

Word to the wise, if this is you, give up the mom show, face your insecurities, face your inadequacies, and face your failures as a Mom.  The best moms are the moms that say; I have failed a lot and I have no idea how to parent, will you help me?  

The definition of a bad mom is the scenario up above.  A good mom will admit her real failures readily, but A LOT of moms do “false vulnerability” very well.  So, other parents think they’re really vulnerable, but they actually have NO CLUE

no clue

no clue what real vulnerability is.  These moms do false vulnerability to win the favor of other people in their life, so people will like them because they think “they’re so vulnerable!!!”   You see,  ever since Brene Brown wrote her books, vulnerability is a new buzz word and if you use it a lot, it will win gain you some popularity points.  Also, it’s important to know this about humility.   We are NOT good at assessing for ourselves if we are humble or not, only other people in our life can tell us if we are humble. 

As parents, we NEED to be role modeling REAL vulnerability and humility with our children in order for them to learn the value of these two things.  When a Mom says she is failing, she is role modeling humility for her children.  When a husband calls a counseling office and sets up a marriage therapy session, he is role modeling humility, when a husband says; I have no idea how to connect with you emotionally, I have no idea how to tell you that I am not attracted to you anymore? Can we get help to learn how to communicate with each other?  He is role modeling humility and honesty and by doing these things He is leading his family well.  (ying-yang)

One way to nurture humility is to be honest about your flaws and inadequacies.  But I’ll get to that more in my next post because I am getting a little tired around here, so I best be getting into bed. 🙂  But of course, I can’t say good night until I leave you with another 5 ingredients or less gluten free recipe.  From now on, I am only going to leave you with recipes that I have made from scratch, no more gimme’s.  This recipe is for “cacho” and it consists of only 3 ingredients. 

Cacho 🙂 

10 Tortilla Chips

10 Slices of Cucumber

Mozzarella Cheese

Sprinkle mozzarella cheese on each chip (generously) and melt the chips in the microwave for 45 seconds.  Take the cucumber slices and put them on top of the cheese after they come out of the microwave. 

Refreshing, Delicious, and Ooooh so Cheesy 🙂

All for now,

Kelly Johnson, ma, lpc

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Making SENSE of the SUICIDE CRAZE In The United States.

I have written 7 office policies that I will be hanging up in my office and also putting into my intake forms.  I thought I would share these office policies on my blog as well.  All of these changes will be going into effect as of May 1st, 2017.  As therapists, counselors, social workers, doctors, and psychiatrists if we ALL joined together and ALL committed to having the same policies, I think we would see an END to the suicide craze in the United States. 

Policies of the Aurora Center for Healing and Change

  1. My role as your therapist is twofold; First to help you BECOME THE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF emotionally, relationally, professionally, and spiritually. Second, to help you HEAL your pain.  If I am not helping you accomplish these two things in your life than please stop seeing me and ask me for referrals.
  2. You may ask me any questions during your therapy session, within reason of course. Sometimes in order for people to move forward in therapy and feel comfortable receiving therapy, they want to know if their therapist has ever had to overcome adversity; e.g.  Depression, anxiety, etc.  So I will share with discretion of course if it will increase the likelihood of my client having a successful experience in therapy.  For example, if a client asks me; have you ever struggled with Depression?  I would probably answer back, “Yes, I have battled and overcome significant depression at certain points in my life.”
  3. If you would like to get the most out of your therapy session, please bring in a therapy notebook to each session. I recommend just leaving it in your car, so you always have it.  If you would like me to keep it in my office, until you are done with therapy, in which I will return it to you, I would be more than happy to do that.
  4. Your feedback regarding your counseling experience is critical in order for you to have the best therapy experience possible. Therefore please give me your feedback after each session or at the beginning of the next session.   You may also write down your feedback in a few words in your therapy notebook and bring it to the next session.
  5. Please let me know when you would like to transition out of therapy or terminate therapy. If you would like to re-enroll in therapy, I would ask that you bring in the same therapy notebook that you previously used if you still have it.  The reality is, if you find that therapy is very helpful for you, you may request it on and off again throughout your life.  For optimal interpersonal growth, I would recommend that all people receive 2-3 counseling sessions each year.  Just like your car needs oils changes every 3-4 months, your LIFE would benefit from some consistent counseling in the same way.  We care for our cars, much more than we care for our LIFE.  
  6. If you would like referrals for other mental health clinicians, please let me know that and I will be more than happy to provide those referrals for you.
  7. If you are having any suicidal feelings, please bring up these feelings in each session. While this conversation may feel hard to initiate, you will feel a sigh of relief after you share these feelings.  I will ask you about these feelings as well.  With depression and suicidal feelings, I rate these feelings based off of severity on a scale from 1-10, 1 being mild and 10 being most severe.   If you are my client in therapy, you are making A COMMITMENT TO ME TO NOT ATTEMPT SUICIDE.  My part of this contract is that I WILL DO MY BEST TO TEACH YOU HOW TO HEAL YOUR PAIN, HEAL YOUR RELATIONSHIPS, AND FEEL YOUR PAIN.  If you cannot make this commitment to me, I am not the RIGHT therapist for you. I ADHERE TO THIS POLICY TO ENSURE THAT # 1 ON THIS LIST IS HAPPENING.  I cannot help you evolve into the BEST version of yourself, if you are entertaining the idea of suicide.   While I understand that you may have suicidal feelings while you are in therapy, I do not feel like I am asking for too much.  I need you to make a commitment to your life, if you are under my care.   

IN 2017, we live in a culture now where “suicidal feelings are often times a conditioned way of thinking when life becomes incredibly incredibly painful and intolerable”.  The reality is that in all human history we have not had the problems with suicidal ideation that we have had most recently since the onset of antidepressants.  In the 1700’s. 1800’s and 1900’s people RARELY ever heard of the word suicide.

There were NO BOOKS WRITTEN ON THE TOPIC OF SUICIDE.  THERE WERE NO SUICIDE HOTLINES IN THIS ERA.  THERAPISTS, SCHOOL COUNSELORS, AND PSYCHIATRISTS WERE NOT REQUIRED TO ASK THEIR CLIENTS REGARDING THEIR SUICIDAL THOUGHTS EVERY SESSION if they said they had high depression.  (This is not a literal statement, take it with a grain of salt, maybe there was one book, that’s not my point.)

Suicidal rates the last several years have been at all time high.  Interestingly enough, people were obviously much happier before antidepressants became in existence because the suicide statistics in those days WERE MUCH LOWER THAN THEY ARE NOW.  It is of my belief that antidepressants have created a culture where we are 100% intolerable to emotional pain.  If we have a lot of emotional pain, we think we must get medicated to cure our pain.  While I will always encourage clients to “follow doctors orders” I do not agree with this philosophy and way of thinking.

©  Kelly Johnson, MA, LPC

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Do you ever make really DUMB DECISIONS?! Join the crowd, me too. :)

Hello Ya’ll!

I’m sure you may be asking; Why am I posting another blog, since I said I would not post a blog for 30 days?   Because sometimes I make DUMB DECISIONS and that decision was just a DUMB DECISION.  Why?  Because writing connects me to my soul, so while I may want accountability in other areas of my life, taking a fast from writing is definitely NOT an area I need accountability in.  The truth is we all make DUMB DECISIONS sometimes and if we are going to heal our ego issues, then we NEED TO FREELY ADMIT OUR DUMB DECISIONS.  no biggee. 🙂

When we all give up our addiction to image, we will start to be okay with being wrong more, looking stupid sometimes, admitting dumb decisions, and changing our opinion about a topic or about a person when new information comes into existence that is contrary to our old way of thinking.  Sadly, in our world, people are not allowed to change their opinion.  When people change their mind, it is seen as a sign of weakness, when in reality if you are close companions with humility, you will change your mind sometimes. 

Anyways, I will touch on that more in a little bit, but for more important news right now.  I have 3 IMPORTANT announcements that I would like to make.  Announcement # 1: I will be releasing….

MY FIRST BOOK TITLED; “MENTAL HEALTH SYSTEM ABUSE?” by the END OF THIS WEEK.

The second important announcement that I would like to share is that since I am going to be taking a 30 day fast from blogging, (scratch that statement, read the text above.) I will be spending this blogging time actually publishing some books, which is kind of exciting, so you should see a few of my other books coming out within the next month.  My career for the last year has been primarily writing and ticket to work and a lot less counseling, so its due time I finally publish a book.

The 3rd Announcement is completely unrelated to books, however it is Sunday and I just got back from the prayer chapel at the local Catholic Church and it reminded me of the importance of this last announcement.

You see, mental health/emotional health and healthy spirituality are probably my two favorite loves in this world!  Probably because, you can not experience one without the other.   This is why mental health as we know it, FAILS PEOPLE MOST OF THE TIME.

Why is this?

Because

There

is

not…….

ONE

ONE

ONE

TREATMENT

MODALITY

in

psychology

that

focuses

on

HUMILITY,

HONESTY,

&

Healthy

Confession.

So in order for psychology to be healthy I believe it needs to join hands with healthy theology.  You see, Healthy Psychology can not exist without Healthy Theology and Healthy Theology can not exist without Healthy Psychology.   (disclaimer, I’m pretty sure god is an agnostic.)

So with that being said, it is of no surprise that this last blog for the month would have to address both of these LOOOVES of mine.  (scratch that last blog statement again.) In my last blog, I talked about the YING YANG CONCEPT and how I believe that healthy spirituality would embrace this concept that Protestantism NEEDS Catholicism and Catholicism NEEDS Protestantism.  In closing this blog, I would like to leave you with this sentiment so you can get an idea of what that would maybe look like.

Honestly, I see the sacred blending of the protestant church and the catholic church as a true spiritual match made in heaven.  🙂  However, because of pride and ego, this has not even came close to happening yet.  In my dream world, if this did happen, this is what it would look like.  True story, it is one of my life goals to start a little church some day, so who’s knows…maybe I could actually see this come to fruition.  Here is what this “spiritual match made in heaven” could look like theologically speaking for our churches.

Catholicism- The best of ritual, confession, humility, and sacredness.  Meaning; lent, advent, ritual, confession, prayer-beads.  (While I dislike confession because of the priesthood concept, I love the general idea of confession.  And while I dislike the rosary because the focus is on praying to Mary, I love the IDEA OF PRAYER BEADS THAT LOOK EXACTLY LIKE THE ROSARY WITH AN INFINITY SIGN MAYBE INSTEAD OF A CROSS. 🙂  While some people may not want/need the prayer beads, some people may feel more connected to god through beads.  Because prayer beads can be an excellent accountability tool with healing selfishness through praying for others/world. (on your own.)  In terms of humility, Catholics are way more humble than most evangelical protestants.  If evangelical protestants wanted to work on getting more humility, take a year fast from talking about god.

Protestantism- The best of worship, community, and relatable sermons.  I think Protestant churches do worship, community, and sermons much better than catholic churches do.  Worship needs to connect to peoples soul and heart. (Many secular sounds however connect to peoples soul even far better than evangelical worship does.) Community needs to be a central priority in church, and sermons need to be preached mostly by people who are also married and have family, because that is over 80% of the population. 

However, neither of these church traditions embrace the spiritual practice of SILENCE.  I think SILENCE IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS in being able to receive humility, encouragement, and healthy conviction. When we allow ourselves to sit in silence, I believe our god given conscience starts to work like it is designed to work.  By the way, I’m not a regular church goer because I cant find a church that is emotionally healthy.  Frankly, I think there are more agnostics who are spiritually healthy than devout’s.  Why?  Because their emotionally honest.

books?

  1. What is Mental Health System Abuse?
  2. DSM’s “FORGOTTEN” DIAGNOSIS: Mental Health Clinician’s Narcissism.
  3. Understanding Emotional Nutrition * & How to Heal Depression & Anxiety in 9 steps
  4. Helaing Narcsisism and man made pefrectinoism in 9 steps
  5. Atheist Prayer
  6. Sam & Diddley-squat: Tales of an unlikely Friendship in-between an Atheist and Yahweh.
  7. Healing Relationships in 19 days.
  8. Who’s Driving your Bus?
  9. Saving our Children from Being S-P-O-I-L-E-D.
  10. 11 Strategies for Creating an A-M-A-Z-I-N-G Family

DISCLAIMER: Sometimes problems with Depression, Anxiety, and Relationships are NOT designed to be fixed.  Sometimes we need to surrender and accept the pain we are in or accept the relationship is over.  I was in

 

*******ALL BOOKS, TITLES, MATERIALS, AND BLOGS ARE: Copyrighted By Kelly Johnson, MA, LPC. April, 2017  unless otherwise noted.   *******

Wow, I think this blog was one of my most disjointed blogs in that we talked about EVERYTHING in this blog.  Anywho, here is another 5 ingredient or less recipe as well for ONE ingredient ice cream.

All for now~

Kelly Johnson, MA, LPC

P.S- We all need to learn to stop judging people, I think we are all addicted to judging people.  Just because I wrote, “god” and god given conscience” and not “God” and God given conscience” does not mean that I harbor any less respect for Yahweh.  You see, I did that on purpose, the Lord judges the heart, man judges outward appearances.

 

 

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Why Is Music 100X more popular than therapy?

I am sure you have clearly seen by now that I am a little bit of a Patch Adams sort in terms of Mental Health.  I am bound to get in trouble, because my beliefs are “controversial” and here I am out in the open saying; “I don’t believe in disorders” among MANY MANY other things. However, I think its fair to say that Patch Adams had something to teach all of us about health care and likewise maybe I have something to teach you about mental health care. I would rather be faithful to my own soul and put myself out on a limb and risk “getting into trouble.” vs. being unfaithful to my own soul.  I am well aware of ALL OF THE RISKS THAT I AM TAKING BY EXPRESSING MY THOUGHTS SO FREELY ON THIS BLOG, and I am becoming comfortable with each of these risks, because every time I take a risk and share something that may be “controversial” I am taking a step closer towards integrity.

As Mental Health Clinicans, because we are so busy burring our heads in the DSM, we are failing to notice that

drum role please……

music

does

a

much

better

job

at

therapy

&

connecting

with

people’s

soul

than

 

most

therapists.

 

Why is that?

Because Music does NOT diagnose people with disorders.  Music talks about deep pain, belonging, insecurity, love, jealousy, inadequacy, shame, and relationships.

And……

Music 

DOES

NOT

MAKE

THESE

EMOTIONS

a

d-i-s-o-r-d-e-r. 

Music can be 100% emotionally honest and raw regarding life experiences. Music talks about every aspect of LIFE and music makes no mention of the dsm, diagnoses, disorders, etc.  For this reason, music connects to people’s soul I believe far better than most therapies do.  

However, on the flip side of the coin, music does not confront people, and its fair to say that any good therapist will confront their client when needed.

Nonetheless, I think as therapists, we have a lot to learn from some music artists and we need to be listening to emotionally raw music that is honest about all emotions and asking ourselves how can I create a therapy experience for my client where they will feel comfortable sharing with me all of these emotions?

So, if we are wanting to become more effective as a Therapist I think we need to do  a couple things.  First off, I think we need to put down our DSM and all of our training books for a little while and instead create a type of therapy experience for our clients where our clients feel comfortable sharing their real stories of deep pain, deep hurt, lies, secrets, intense sorrow, insecurity, love, jealousy, inadequacy, shame, and happiness with us. You see, therapy is not effective UNTIL WE CREATE A TYPE OF THERAPY EXPERIENCE FOR OUR CLIENTS WHERE PEOPLE CAN BE 100% HONEST ABOUT everything in their life; their pain, lies, secrets, etc.   People need to be able to feel comfortable sharing ALL THE PARTS OF THEIR SOUL WITH US where their not going to be afraid that if they share these emotions with us that we will DIAGNOSE THEM WITH A DISORDER.

HEAR ME LOUD AND CLEAR, I BELIEVE THIS IS MENTAL HEALTH SYSTEM ABUSE.    I think if we were are going to be doing therapy with how therapy is designed to be done, people will find therapy much more popular than music or just as popular as music.

Secondly, if I had to pick one therapeutic modality that really connected with people’s soul, it would be; Schema Therapy, hands down.    You see, for most people who are battling Depression and Anxiety, their Depression and Anxiety was created because of family of origin wounds.  Cognitive Behavioral Therapy alone, does not get at the root of our wounds and hurts that are creating Depression and Anxiety like Schema Therapy does. With Schema Therapy they combine the best elements of CBT with also having an appreciation and awareness of how Family of Origin Wounds work.  While I do think that Schema Therapy is missing a couple key elements in their schema’s (there is not one schema labeled narcissism.) I do believe it is the BEST FORM OF THERAPY OUR THERE that really gets at the root of peoples problems, etc.    What are your thoughts on what I have shared?  I welcome all feedback.    🙂

As I am bringing a close to this blog post, I would like to  share a song play list with you I created called Soul Music on Spotify, I hope you enjoy it.

Warm Regards,

Kelly Johnson, MA,

 

 

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