Have you ever thought of your anger as being preventable? Reactions to anger, such as walking away or taking deep breaths, can be helpful in the moment. However, you can prevent the moment from even happening. There are many feelings underlying anger. Learning which ones push us over the edge is so important in preventing uncontrollable anger. The most important thing we need to learn is that anger does not just pop up out of nowhere. There are typically a series of events that lead up to strong feelings of anger. It can be so helpful for us to learn which events typically build on each other. Some of these events may seem minute or we may unconsciously brush them off. An example of an event like this might be that our significant other did not put away the knife they used to make a sandwich. We may feel a pang of frustration when we notice, but we’ll usually just take care of it and forget about it. When we think back and try to find activating events, these are the ones that are harder to point out. Some events are obvious, such as the person in front of us at the grocery store who asks for paper bags after his groceries are already in plastic. It is important to note here that these are examples and may or may not be a big deal for you. People react so differently to the same life events, and learning about yourself is the biggest part of counseling. Our goal is to help you identify those “big” and “little” events so you can be more intentional with how you respond to them. “I’m noticing this seemingly small thing is bringing up emotions for me. I’m consciously deciding to let it go and to not allow it to affect my day.”
Please come to the Center for Healing and Change we can help you learn what building up for you throughout your day and give you effective tools for handling those triggers.
Wishing you a calm Halloween,
Courtney Crotty, Graduate Intern